finally

we don't know yet

Came back to reality when we got to the hospital. I heard one of the paramedics say "Woman. 32 years old. She was shot on the leg, near the femoral artery. She has lost a lot of blood and fainted before we got there". I was really worried. Was she going to be okay? What would happen if she wasn't? What would I do? She had a son, we had a son. I barely knew him and she was struggling between life and death.

Suddenly I felt someone placing a hand on my shoulder. Hank. "She will be okay. She is strong" ha said. I really needed to hear those words, although they were just that, words. 

"Should I call Emily and ask her to bring Justin?" I asked Hank. "It's your son, do what you think it's best" he answered. "Hank, I gotta ask, did you know about him?" Hank just stared at me and I knew he did. He would had probably tried to tell Erin she had to tell me, but couldn't change her mind. 

Emily arrived with Justin by her side. "Where is mommy?" he said. "Is she okay?" Emily asked. "We don't know yet. They haven't told us anything." I replied. "I'll get us coffee" Hank said as he walked away. 

I couldn't stop thinking about Erin, and Justin. Their lives these past few years. I couldn't imagine Erin pregnant, I wish I had been there to see it. I couldn't stop imagining the day Justin was born, or the day he started to walk, or when he said his first word. It probably was "mommy". I could only think about them, and imagine the life we could have had if she had stayed in Chicago. Why didn't she? I loved her so much, I would had been so happy to have a son with her. She is the person I've imagined forming a life with since the very first day I met her. I had always thought life would eventually bring us together again, so we could be together again. And now that it had, it was maybe never gonna happen.