Holidaystuck- Ten Christmas One-Shots [Homestuck]

One-Shot #7- Ginger-boys

"Alright everyone," Rose announced, coming into the living room. "Our annual gingerbread house-making contest will be tomorrow. As usual, the girls will be making the houses, and the boys will be judging based on appearance, taste, and-"

"Um, Rose," Dave said, cutting her off, "Not to be a buzzkill or anything, and not that I don't love eating your gingerbread houses, because I do, but why don't you let the boys make the houses for once?"

"Because," Rose replied in a matter-of-factly tone, "If the boys were allowed to make the houses, it's fairly obvious that something would go wrong."

"I actually agree with Strider on this one," Karkat said. "And that's a rarity."

"Karkat, if you were to try making a house, something would go wrong, no need for probability," Kanaya interjected.

"You're juth thaying that cauth' you wanna make a houth," Sollux said, not looking up from his phone.

"Well, maybe we do want to make a house," Vriska rebutted.

"Um, not to be mean, or anything, but maybe the boys want to try making a house too," Tavros said.

"I think we should let them do it," Feferi blurted.

"What?" Terezi said.

"You heard me," Feferi replied. "I think it would be fun to see what they come up with!"

"Well, it seems we have come to a resolution," Rose said, ending all further argument. "Boys, you have twenty-four hours to design and build a creative and festive gingerbread house. If I were you, I'd start now."

The next day, the boys had all their gingerbread creations ready and lined up in the kitchen. The girls strolled up and down the makeshift aisles, judging appearance and festivity.

"Karkat, yours is very traditional," Rose said aloud, thinking to herself. "It's nice... but still sloppily done." Karkat growled at her under his breath as she walked away.

"Tavros, what happened to your gingerbread house?" Feferi cried. Tavros's gingerbread house had been smashed into little pieces, and looked more like ginger-rubble than anything.

"Um, well, Vriska might have broken it, a little, by accident," he said softly, looking down. Feferi turned around and glared at Vriska.

"What?" she said, unable to hide her mischevious grin. Feferi just rolled her eyes and moved on.

"Sollux, where is your gingerbread house?" Aradia asked. Sollux was just sitting in a chair with an empty table in front of him.

"Oh yeah, about that," he started. "I may or may not have been to buthy on Tumblr latht night to even get tharthed, tho yeah." Aradia sighed, walking away.

"Equikitty, what happened to your house?" Nepeta asked. In front of Equius on his table was just a bunch of cracked pieces of gingerbread walls and ceilings.

"I broke it," Equius replied. "With my STRONGness."

"Um, okay?" Nepeta said, clawing Xs into her clipboard as she walked away.

"Eridan. Why," Terezi said as she stood in front of Eridan's creation. "I can literally smell the horribleness."

"It's glubbin' art, Tez," he replied, folding his arms across his chest.

"You made a sculpture of a fish!" She exclaimed.

"Aaarrrrt," he sang as Terezi moved on, sighing.

"Alright, everyone, the viewing portion of the contest is over," Rose announced, waving her arms. "Next, we will judge based on taste."

"Gamzee, yours looks tasty," Jade said. "What kind of frosting did you use? I love how it's green. It makes it so much more festive."

"Oh, that's not frosting," Gamzee replied, leaning back in his chair. "I used some slime for that."

"Slime?" Kanaya said, overhearing their conversation and rushing over. "Jade, I implore you to not eat that."

"Why not?" she asked.

"Sopor slime, at least to trolls, is highly potent," she explained. "Only Gamzee is able to withstand it, but it includes a major decline in mental stability."

"Oh," Jade said, her eyes widening. "Yeah, I don't think I'm going to taste-test your house, Gamzee."

"That's alright by me," he agreed, grinning and waving her off.

"John, where's your house?" Jade asked, moving on.

"Oh! Um, well..." he said, embarrassed. "I kinda forgot. I thought that the girls were doing it again this year, so I didn't do it..." he smiled nervously.

"Dave, this gingerbread house tastes amazing!" Rose exclaimed. "Jade, Kanaya, come try this!" The two of them came over and took a piece to try.

"Wow, Dave, this is really good!" Jade said. "I thought you wouldn't do it for the irony of it."

"No, that's exactly why I did it," he said. "You all thought I wouldn't do it, so I did. Irony." he made an arcing motion with his hands as if to make an invisible rainbow.

"Rose, I think we have our winner," Kanaya said.

"Call it," Jade added when Rose looked to her for approval.

"Okay, everybody, we have our winner!" she said, holding up Dave's gingerbread house. Dave stood as well. "Dave, do you have any words to say?" she asked.

"I'm not doing this again next year, just for the record," he said. "Also, the rest of yours sucked and had no chance of winning against mine."

"So does this mean we're giving the gingerbread house-making back to the girls next year?" John asked.

"Yeah, I guess so," Jade replied. "Besides, it's not like any of you can actually make a gingerbread house to begin with."