Breathing Blues

You Think I'm Horny?

"Uh, well it's nothing", I looked at the meter of the rickshaw.

"Well, Vaid you and I both know that's a lie. Spill", he pushed and well I wanted to blurt obviously.

"I don't know I feel so exhausted today like my life is drained out of me, all the energy is just gone and my soul needs a reacharge but it is trapped in a meat suit", I put it in words. "I just want to disappear into an old forest and never be seen again", I sighed. "But I also don't want to be any animal's food", I rolled my eyes and I heard his chortle.

"I remember my early twenties. Weird years to be honest", he said and I listened. "You are young, alive, you want to do a lot of things but you don't exactly have a bank account balance, you love all your friends, you've zero thoughts in your head, very detachable lifestyle", Darshan told me.

"Do you miss them? Your more young years?", I asked him.

"To be honest, I do. You always miss what you've left behind but I don't want things differently because it makes me what I'm toady and I kind of like the paycheck", I could literally feel his smile.

I got off the rickshaw and payed 45 rupees to the driver although the right price should be 30 rupees but I didn't want an argument.

"Okay, I'm here. How long will it take for you to come?", I asked him.

"How long um around 10 minutes...keep talking", he instructed as I sat on the side of the footpath.

"What's your favorite app?", I asked randomly.

"Instagram or camera", he told me instantly.

"Well, I can tell why it's camera", I sarcastically mocked. "And I'm so sick of Instagram, do you even know how many people die from influencer every year?", I sighed heavily and he laughed.

"Does influensers ask you to get validation for your posts?", he asked.

"Oh, please you're one yourself so we aren't going there BUT do you really think they lead a lifestyle where they avoid gluten and they're vegan and so on the saga goes...I'm not against them but then it's annoying. I mean I relate to KRK more than I relate to an influencer", I rolled my eyes to myself.

"I am hearing your views on this okay but imagine if you're an influencer than what?", he asked.

"I can barely influence a pigeon. Let's rephrase tha...I can barely influence myself let alone things walking on two legs", I wiped the sweat off my forehead.

"I think you'd do a pretty decent job", Darshan rolled down the window and I looked up. I opened the door and sat down, just feeling reliefed as the AC hair touched my face.

I disconnected the call, looking back at him.

"Sorry to keep you waiting but I wanted to talk to you", he said and I nodded, putting my phone inside my bag.

"Shoot Raval", I said, taking out the bottle I'd in my bag.

"You want cold water?", Darshan pointed at the bottle kept in the holder and I grabbed it.

"So, let's just agree that we've a good amount of sexual tension between us", he said and I choked. Literally. After, gulping hard I looked at him but he was already looking.

Okay, I consider myself a cool person and even I can't be this calm about all this.

"I know it's kind of awkward but someone told me comfort comes after you've had awkward", Darshan smartly phrased me and I listened closely.

"Yes, there is", I let out, slowly. I sounded more slow than I imagined in my head.

Did he felt I'm nervous?

I hope not.

"Right, and you know Tara I like talking to you. Trust me, you won't get this now but you don't connect with everyone. You can be friends with people and still not connect with them. All I want to say is what we've is rare and you don't find it easily over here and I don't want to ruin it because I'm reacting like a horny teenager. No offence to you of course", he turned the steering wheel.

He wasn't making eye contact now.

"So, you think I'm horny", I looked at him and his face screwed up.

"Okay, firstly I didn't mean it that way and secondly isn't it obvious like you should be. You're still in development...naturally of course", Darshan corrected and I jerked back chuckling.

He made a face and I ignored it.

"I get it. No touching, avoid being close so that the tension releases itself in a while", I looked at him and he nodded.

I don't want to sound like a bummer but how can you ever be just friends with a guy like him considering that you've been with him in bed?

It's just...I can try for the sake of many things.

1. He's a nice guy. Apart from the fact that he's stupid hot he's pretty good for this generation if we're considering Nikhil and we're considering him.

2. I agree, there's little connect between us and I appreciate it of course though I'm not that attached to him honestly.

3. Of course, I considered my career. See, being friends with him make things a little easier for me.

"What, you're good with it right? You agree?", Darshan spoke and I vigorously nodded.

"Okay, now that we've things sorted I want to see how your girlfriend looks...I've been dying to see her. Satisfy my curiosity", I told him and he pulled out his phone.

Darshan pressed his index finger on the scanner and passed his cell to me.

Woah!

She was really like one of those people who're abstract like you see them and you go through a series of colors and you get the vague sense that you've just met somebody. She was totally upto mark according to him.

"You know you're staring my wallpaper for way too long", Darshan joked and I looked at him.

"So, this is the woman you're writing all these songs about", I said, smilingly.

"You can say that", he said.

"You remind me of Finneas, like he's a singer and he write these amazing amazing songs and produces music and sings. His girlfriend's name is Claudia so he made a song called Claudia", I told him.

"For real?", Darshan looked at me.

"For real", I repeated.

"By the way Tara where are we going exactly?", Darshan asked.

"You picked me how would I know?", I scoffed.

"You're free right? Like...to zone out", he asked.

"I've like zero plans apart from the timepass Tinder", I yawned.

"Give me a place, quick", Darshan asked.

"Um...Title Waves?", I said.