Reason To Be (A Zouis Family AU)

Interlude Three, Chapter Two

The younger boy looks up at him but doesn't quiet meet his gaze. His cheeks are still a light shade of pink. "Sorry," he practically squeaks. "I didn't know you guys were - um - doing - uh...that stuff," he splutters.

Harry feels his own embarrassment increase at that as he shakes his head abruptly. "Oh, we weren't - there was none of that stuff happening," he says, trying to keep his voice straight.

Niall just pauses and then gives a nod, burying his hands into the front pocket of his hoodie. He's been quiet and subdued since he started on the pills and Harry doesn't like it. They've turned his hyper, loud, happy little brother into a zombie, a shell.

"Can I come in?" He asks gently, and Niall glances behind him. Harry smiles. "Just me. Brad had plans."

The shorter kid nods then, stepping aside to allow Harry to pass. He smiles when he sees the various canvases propped up around the room, some half finished, most of them from weeks ago.

"Did you want to talk?" He turns to Niall, who has moved back to sit on his bed with his knees tugged up to his chest and his arms looped around them. Concern tugs at his chest and he sits down beside him, wrapping an arm around his shoulder. "What's going on, Ni?"

Niall just sighs and leans against his side with a shrug. "I dunno. Just tired, I guess," he says softly, and Harry frowns.

"Haven't you been sleeping well?" He asks, because the younger boy is always the first one up to bed of a night recently.

"Yeah. I've been sleeping loads," he mumbles, looking up at Harry as he rubs at one of his eyes with the base of his palm. "Ashton just said I gotta get used to the pills and then things will get better. Right now all the side effects are just..."

"Bad?"

Niall slumps and nods. "Yeah. Bad."

Harry winces, feeling nothing but sympathy as he hugs his brother to his side and presses a quick kiss to his temple. "I'm sorry, Ni. But - I mean, I guess Ashton knows best. He's your therapist, he probably knows what he's talking about," he comments, at which the younger boy gives a shadow of a nod. "What can I do?"

He and Niall are still close. There's never any denying that, and he prays there never will be. They've been through all of their ups and downs together; and there's no way he's ever letting his kid brother go through any of the bad stuff alone. And the same goes for the good. He doesn't want to be absent for any of it.

Niall shrugs. "Can you just stay here?" He asks quietly, and Harry smiles and nods immediately, leaning back against the pillows beside the smaller boy. Niall sniffs and moves his head to rest on his chest instead, still far from catching up to his shoulder in height. "I'm sorry I made Brad leave."

Harry shakes his head quickly. "You didn't. He's going out with some of his friends," he assures, and Niall looks up to him with furrowed brows.

"Didn't he invite you?"

"He's almost nineteen, Ni. Until my eighteenth birthday there's a bunch of things I can't do, like go out into town with him."

It's one of the only downfalls in their one and a half year age gap - he can't legally get into a lot of places that Brad likes to go in his spare time. He can't wait until he moves out for uni in a few months so that they can spend more time together.

Though, the idea of moving out - even if it is only temporarily for education - makes his stomach flood with nervous butterflies. He won't have Dad and Papa to take care of him and always double check that he's had his snack and his bg levels are okay, and most of all, he won't be around so much to make sure Niall's okay.

"I'm really gonna miss you when you have to go to school," Niall murmurs then, as if he's just read Harry's thoughts.

Harry smiles and rests his cheek on top of his little brother's head. "We still have the whole summer, and even then, I'm only a thirty minute car ride away. That isn't too far, is it? And I'll be home for every holiday, and I won't be staying in the accommodation over the summer like Brad. I'll be here loads," he says softly, trying to reassure himself just as much as he is the younger boy.

Niall nods against him and stays quiet for a while before he speaks again. "Everything's changing. Liam's gonna be a Dad, you're not gonna be here. I'm gonna be the only kid left in the house and I don't even go to the same school as Luke anymore so -"

"Ni, you're spiralling," Harry stops him, looking down at him with furrowed brows. "Things have changed so much already and we've been okay, haven't we? It's a lot different now to when we first got here," he says honestly.

There's a small pause and then another nod. "I guess. I am excited that Emily's having a baby," he admits quietly. "I hope it's a girl. Emily's the only girl in our family, so I think we need to start evening things out," he says with a small smile.

Harry smiles a little wider at that too, nodding. "Yeah, I agree. But a boy would be cool too. Isn't it weird that you're gonna be Uncle Ni and I'm gonna be Uncle Haz?"

"And Dad and Papa are both gonna be Grandpa's," Niall says back, sounding a little less sad now.

Harry laughs at that. "That's gonna make them feel old, isn't it? Papa doesn't even like it when me and Liam call him Pops."

Niall laughs then too, and Harry is beyond relieved to hear the sound. He hates to see his brother so down in the dumps. He gives him another firm squeeze against his side.

"Things are gonna be fine, Ni," he reassures him. "Things are gonna be fine."