Reason To Be (A Zouis Family AU)

Part Two, Chapter Seven

Liam can't shift the anxiety that has taken constant residence in his chest. He doesn't remember it ever being so bad before.

After falling asleep on the phone to Emily last night, he hasn't ended up getting much rest. He'd tossed and turned and woken up every hour in a panic. Partly because he hadn't studied and he just knows he's going to fall behind because of it...

Mostly because he can't stop feeling like he's somehow at fault for Niall not speaking. His eight year old brother is the loudest person he knows, and Papa had called early this morning to say that he still hadn't said a word.

And it had only been yesterday that Liam had told him to never speak again.

He ignores the unease in the pit of his stomach as he walks down the stairs in his school uniform, deep bags embedded beneath his eyes from lack of sleep, his school bag filled with books that seem to weigh him down with every step.

He can hear Harry in the kitchen, voice high strung which is out of character for the usually soft spoken eleven year old.

"Please, Dad, I wanna be here when he gets home," he begs, and Liam instantly knows he's talking about Niall.

His younger brother turns to him for support the moment he steps into the room, eyes pleading. "Please, Li, you wanna stay home too? For Niall," he says, and Liam can't help but hesitate.

Of course he wants to see Niall just to know that he's really okay...but he would rather go to school and distract himself from everything. He doesn't think he'll be able to handle seeing Niall come home all silent and not his usual, bouncy self.

He glances up at Dad, who looks a little torn and extremely worn himself. He knows the man hasn't slept just by looking at him, and he knows that he and Harry should go to school just to give their father five minutes to himself.

"Haz, you're already in your uniform," he states, and the boy's shoulders slump. "You might as well just go to school. Ni's gonna be here when we come home," he says, and Dad looks thankful for his support when Harry hesitates before giving the smallest of nods.

"Okay," he mumbles, glancing up at Liam with a slight pout. "Can I get a lift with you?" He asks, and Liam forces a tired smile, ruffling his brother's hair.

"Of course," he says, hoping that Oscar will be here to give him a lift today after he and Emily had essentially made up last night.

He supposes that's at least one thing that's fixed.
Amidst a billion broken things, it seems.

When Harry slinks out of the room to get his shoes and jacket, Dad turns to scan him over with gentle blue eyes. "You okay Bear?" He asks, and Liam could cry at the use of the babyish nickname that his mother used to use.

He's just so tired and anxious about everything that he knows a tiny event might set him off. And he wants to spill his guts out to the man that he trusts with his entire life, but he can see how tired he is too.

It wouldn't be fair to put that on him.

So he gives a small nod and a tight smile. "I'm okay, Dad," he says softly, and the man doesn't look convinced but then there's the beep of a car horn outside and he has to go anyway.

Harry sits by the window in the car, quietly watching the scenery whiz by and politely answering to Oscar's attempts at small talk with him, whilst Liam sits in the middle with Emily's hand wrapped tightly around his. He appreciates the contact, allows it to ground him because everything else feels like it's up in the air.

Once they're inside the school, Haz goes off with his friends, leaving Liam alone with Emily. She looks at him with her face all soft and eyes gentle, taking both of his hands in hers as she gazes up at him. "How're you feeling?" She asks, and he lets out a small sigh.