Gorric the Morric & The Fate of Spume

Query Letter HELP

This space I have dedicated to my Query Letter. I have submitted to two agents over the last 6 months and I have heard obviously nothing. This is frustrating because it could mean that my book is pitching badly or they are not looking for exactly my work...the reasons are endless.

I have read through all the manuscript wish list agents and picked the two I thought would jump at my book! BUT nothing. Thus it is either my QL or my book is rubbish. Thus I am on this wonderful site trying to perfect my this book and the others I plan on posting on here.

Below is the basic query letter I wrote and I am hoping to get some feed back on it!! Thank you very much for any and all help.

My Query Letter Example for Gorric the Morric & The Fate of Spume

To: NotReal Agency                                                                            Date
Address
NotReal, BL 22442

From: Yada
Yada Address
Blah, NN 22344

Dear Amazing Agent,

My name is Brittany Klingler and I am seeking representation for my younger middle grade fantasy adventure book, Gorric the Morric and the Fate of Spume. Having seen your manuscript wish list, I believe the humor and adventure in my book will be of interest to you and Agency Name. For five years, I have been diligently researching, writing, editing, and proofing. It is my dream to become a published author and I am eager to learn, adapt, work long hours, and focus on this endeavor. Living along the North Carolina Crystal Coast has inspired this quirky, educational, page turning, adventure tale, that will be a yearly vacation read for many coastal visitors and locals.

Seven-year-old Andy Carter is on a quest to rid the once pristine coast of mysterious trash, with the help of the most fantastical creature named Gorric. Have you ever wondered what happens to your hard-built sandcastles after the tide crushes them? What if I told you little creatures called Morrics live inside them in the land of Zorric? These unseen Morrics take your sandcastle to the deepest part of Zorric, where they make spume or you call it sea foam! This spume is made in the most interesting of ways - Morric farts, toots, flatulence, breaking wind! The ocean depends on this spume made by the Morrics!

However, spume levels are dangerously low and Andy is determined to find the source of all the trash that is depleting the ability for kids to make sandcastles. Is it because of the company Vile Virus? Is it because of the creepy scrawny extremely tall old lady, Mrs. Bones? Or is it something even more sinister dwelling in the ocean? Join Andy as he discovers hidden creatures and worlds in this hilarious, dangerous, and somewhat unbelievable journey about how he and Gorric save the land of Zorric and clean up the coast! Or do they?

My manuscript is 20,248 words and is complete. Below are the first three chapters (this was requested by specific agent) of Gorric the Morric and the Fate of Spume.

I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Sincerely,

Brittany L. Klingler