What Makes a Monster

♱Sixty-Four♱

Hael doesn't need to ask. Like Soran said, everyone suspects because all the clues point to that being the case. All are aware that Soran and I were close before, that I was closer than anyone else so this is an outcome they can believe. I could lie through my teeth, but what's the point?

"Yes," I answer, fearful of Hael's response, which is silence. A warm breeze blows in, more signs of spring staying here for good. Unfortunately, the grass that was slowly growing has mostly been burned. The trees around the estate are mostly dead from the fires. The landscapers have returned to see what can or can't be salvaged.

Hael and I watch them, me nervously waiting for a response, as if I'm hoping for his blessing or some shit. When that never happens, I ask, "Well?"

"What do you want me to say?"

"It bothers you, doesn't it?"

"Do you want me to seriously answer that?"

"I guess it depends on how harsh your answer is?"

At least that gets a smirk and a quiet chuckle. He shakes his head, ruffles his long hair and sighs. "He's a vampire, Wallie."

"He's a good man."

"You've seen him kill people."

"You'd be singing a different tune if you knew even half of what happened to him, what has really happened to him."

"Perhaps," Hael whispers. His tone of disbelief is obvious but I make no comment. "Take being a vampire away then, he's still our boss. Neither of us even have a home. The estate is our home. Do you know the kind of predicament you're in?"

"It's not as if I haven't thought about it," I mumble like a child that got scolded for doing something they knew was bad.

"Say things go south, say this doesn't work, you're stuck here with him. He pays you. Houses you, and us too. Say one of us angers you and that angers Lord Makai, we could get fired. Now everyone is going to tiptoe around you. Even me-" Hael pats his own chest. "For what I'm saying, if that angers you or Lord Makai, I could lose my home and my job."

It's not as if I haven't considered this myself, the fact that Soran is my employer, but I never thought about it so thoroughly. To think Hael, to think everyone, is worried about that. That's unfair to them, having to now consider everything they say to me. I'm not that petty, at least I'd like to think that I am. I don't want my relationship with Soran to affect work, but I don't want to give him up either.

"I'm sorry," I say to which Hael shakes his head.

"I didn't mean to make you feel bad. I should have said that better, and I'm not apologizing for the previous reason either," he says quickly around a sigh that shows he's as troubled with this conversation as I am. "You're my friend, Wallie, so if you're happy that's great, but...but I definitely think it's a bad idea in more ways than one."

With that, Hael pats my shoulder, gives an apologetic smile then gets up to return to work.

I fall back with a heavy sigh, hands over my face. This situation is far more complicated than expected.

~~~~~

"Wallace, His Grace is calling for you," says Higra, successfully making all the staff in the kitchen visibly stiff. I kind of hate her for it.

Slowly, I rise. Hael is the only one sitting with me. Everyone else has put distance and even the chatter has been more quiet than usual for dinner. I'm grateful to get out of there, brushing past Higra with my head down and cheeks red with embarrassment and a bit of guilt.