What Makes a Monster

♱Sixty-Three♱

Wallie P.O.V.

"I left for a while," Soran adds and although there are no tears, I know it has nothing to do with not wanting to cry, but more so with having cried so much that there are no tears left. That's alright, I'm crying for him.

"I didn't care about people, feeding when and how I wished, uncaring if they died or not. I became the vampire that made humans cower in the night. I traveled in search of the knowledge Aeven shared with others, destroyed it and any who knew it when found. Vashna was without me for about sixty years. I couldn't--" Soran's hand trembles.

"I couldn't be here, so I just paid some to care for the estate and my business' while I saw the world. But time kept passing and the world changed while I stayed the same. It was exhausting, and I hated that I didn't belong anywhere or to anyone." Then Soran sits up, heaves a great breath, and wears a sad smile. "But I realized that, out of every place I visited, this is the only one that still felt like home. Although I lost them here, I also gained them here. Kailyn sang to me here. Lamaria taught me here. Josette, Jeyton and Annalee were born across the hall. We played and I read them stories, all of that in this place. If I had to be anywhere, I wanted to be here. My family was taken from me, but I wasn't, and I'm not, about to let anyone take our home too."

"A childish thought, don't you agree?" asks Soran, snorting when all I can do is shake my head in response. His sad eyes bore into my own, tearing away at my chest that aches as the words lodge in my throat. "I can't tell you how many I've killed in my life, Wallie. I can't tell you how many lives I've ruined because there was a time where I really didn't give a damn...honestly, there are still moments now where I don't care. I'm sometimes too tired to care. Being what I am, there are consequences that others cannot even begin to fathom and for you, one that others will see I care for, those consequences will become yours as well. You've seen that already, felt the wrath of others. Do you want that? Is it a fate you can face and accept?"

That's a heavy question, one that Soran has been attempting to make me realize for some time now. While I've always known Soran's past to be deep and filled with horror, I never could have imagined the truth. Even now, he has only shared the first 70 or so years of his life when there are still 1500 more that are likely similar. Bitter, angry, sad; they are emotions that none can deny Soran deserves to feel, and yet my answer remains the same.

"It's a little late to be asking that now, isn't it?" I attempt to tease with a smile that he doesn't return. "You said it yourself, these feelings aren't going anywhere. Your past doesn't change that for me either. Call me naive if you wish, maybe even a fool, but you're stuck with this fool."

At least that earns a half smile, one that disappears as quick as it came.

"I'm so sorry about what happened to them, to you and your family. Neither you or them deserved that sort of suffering. I know my words don't really mean much--"

Soran interrupts, "They mean more than you think. I appreciate it, your words and you listening."

"I'll always listen, whether it's a memory of your past, troubles of today or tomorrow, I'm here for you." I'm happy that Soran responds to my smile with one of his own this time. He grips my hand so tightly I fear it'll bruise, but I don't pull away because I honestly believe Soran needed to hear that.

How long has he been alone without someone to be by his side? How long has he not spoken of the past? As terrifying as it is, there are moments where he probably needs to get these horrors off his chest and I'm willing to do what I can to help.

"You're one of a kind, Wallie," he says while wearing that smile. "Sometimes I question how you can be."

"Some of us are just born with a natural advantage, I guess," I tease, grinning at the chuckle I manage to get from him. "Thanks for telling me. I know it must be hard to talk about."