it's lunchtime and i'm laughing. i don't know why. i don't laugh if i don't mean it, my face usually a reflection of how i feel. but i'm laughing and fatima's there and she's staring at me weird. i don't know why. her light brown eyes don't seem as warm anymore, more calculating, like she's estimating the amount of days it'll take for the oxygen on this earth to fail me.
i look at her weird, face scrunching as i attempted to lighten up the situation. "what's with the sour face, fadi?"
i didn't like it when they looked at me like that. when anyone looked at me like that. like they're trying to see through me rather than at me, trying to search under my skin for answers and for once i couldn't interpret the look behind her eyes, and it scared me. i couldn't tell what she was thinking, couldn't make her bark out a laugh. what was i good for as a friend then, if not to make them laugh?
she looked at me more, deeper, a small smile started to form on her lips. it wasn't her usual smile. i wonder what's wrong, my heart starting to race in my chest and i don't know what's happening.
"you've changed." was all she said, slowly lifting herself from the table and walking away as the bell rang conveniently for the next class. hurt rides through me like a storm because i've changed? i feel the same, look quite similar, and my gut is starting to twist itself into knots because i'm starting to realize that showers aren't showers anymore, and perhaps friends aren't either.
YOU ARE READING
ring pops and cigs
Teen Fictionthe cigarettes won't save me now. yet, the lungkiller sits mercifully between my teeth to grant me a temporary bliss in exchange for my health. it's not like i'm going to live forever. OR i've glitterglued my bones together and taped my eyes open;...
