// It's just you and I tonight // (A Matty Healy Fanfiction)

The wedding continued

We walk out of the huge house and down to the grounds beyond, lighting cigarettes as we walk and instinctively holding hands. I hesitate for a second
"What?" Matty asks
"...Shouldn't we be comforting George or Jamie or-"
"They've got a ton of people comforting the right now, babe" he cuts me off "last thing they want is more" I nod and smile softly, bringing the cigarette to my lips.
We walk on and the sun begins to set over the horizon. There's a bitter chill to the air and I realise I have no coat. For some reason the cold doesn't seem to effect me as much as usual and we continue to walk. Eventually we reach a large tree with thick horizontal branches.
"Up here" Matty says, holding his cigarette between his lips as he climbs. I throw my stilettos to the floor and do the same, he pulls me up and we sit, dangling our feet, looking out at the deep navy sky and the stately home lit up against it in the distance.
"You know, what George was saying... it's got me thinking" he exhales and puts his arm around me, I snuggle in for warmth
"Oh yeah?" I say curiously "me too. About what?"
"Well, I... I always kinda thought that, in life, you should just find someone you get on with and... who's attractive and good in bed, I guess, and then... date 'em for a bit before you find the next one of those..." he pauses, leaning his head back against the tree "Marriage... y'know... forever... it never really occurred to me I guess! I always thought it would never work and I didn't want it to work! And I never really... not until you... us... understood that love meant you WANTED forever to work, y'know?" He inhales the smoke and exhales again, gazing up at the branches above. I don't know how to respond.
"I'm not angry that you ended it, Hols, I was fucking... I wasn't me anymore and I was so unfair to you" he looks me in the eyes and I can see he means what he's saying, "but... now I am myself... a better version of myself than I feel I've ever been and... and every time we've had those fucking stupid one-night jobs I... In the morning... I always want you to stay" his voice cracks with a hint of tears on the last word and he bows his head, mopping his eyes, my eyes fill with tears too
"I've been trying to tell you for months" I say, with a little laugh "I agree! I feel the same I-"
"Really?!" He says with a tear-soaked grin
"Yes! I fucking love you and whenever I'm with Stuart I think of...you!"
"Same with Gemma I mean, she's great but... I miss you! I miss you fucking pigging out on pizza and wine with me! Gemma's always watching what she eats and-"
"I miss you being so messy and... you writing songs for me and having the best taste in music and us-"
"Having sex to Catfish and The Bottlemen and dancing to Taylor Swift!" We're both simultaneously laughing and crying
"And you having your hair up like you used to!"
"Gemma doesn't like it" he laughs
"What?! It's so sexy, please don't stop doing that!" We laugh
"And you just... just being you, Hols! Cus, and I know it's cheesy and a that shit but I'm gonna say it anyway, there really isn't anyone else like you and... I just love you"
"I love you too" I say and we kiss passionately, our hands in each others hair and face and neck, frantic and beautiful.
"Come on the tour with us!" He says excitedly when we break apart "Dump Stuart and I'll dump Gemma and... we can stop lying to them and just... be us against the world again!" He's grinning wider than I've ever seen him, he looks just like he did on camp only, he's right, better.

I don't even need to say yes, I just kiss him.

We sit up talking for hours, until way past midnight. Eventually we get too cold and run out of cigarettes so we walk back as the sun rises. The rooms for guests are all upstairs in the venue so we walk up the spiralling staircases hand in hand and eventually find a room. As soon as the door closes the clothes start coming off and before I know it we're on the double bed together. Yes, it's good sex, but there's something else to it that makes it amazing... a sense of happiness and love in it that we haven't had for years.

As the sun fully rises and light floods into the room, I look at him asleep next to me, the chocolate curls of his unruly hair resting on his cheek, and a warmth runs through me. He opens his eyes and I see the same warmth I feel reflected in his smile.

Perfection.

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Xxxxxxx