// It's just you and I tonight // (A Matty Healy Fanfiction)

Matty to stay: Day 2

In the morning I get up and make myself a bacon sandwich then take another up to Matty. I place it on the bedside table and he wakes up slightly and looks at me
"Heya" he mumbles sleepily
"Hi" I smile "bacon sandwich if you want it?"
"Aw, yes" he says enthusiastically, picking up the sandwich and eating it in 5 huge bites "any more where that came from?" he asks, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. I laugh a little
"Yeah come on" I say, he hauls himself out of bed and follows me downstairs. I show him where everything is and he starts making another while I sit and eat my own at the kitchen table.
"Can I smoke in here?" he asks "or have I gotta go outside?"
"Nah, you can smoke! My Dad does in the house so you're fine" his eyes light up
"Aw, cheers Hols, I'm gasping!" He scrabbles in his pockets for a lighter and a pack of 10
"But... maybe not in the kitchen because of there being food around and stuff... my dad doesn't smoke in the kitchen" I say awkwardly
"Oh... right okay... living room?"
"Yeah fine! when you've made your food we can go through!" I smile
"Okay I guess I can wait a minute" he throws the sandwich together quickly and messily and grabs a big bag of crisps from the side... I decide not to comment that crips aren't for breakfast as he seems reasonably upbeat, at least better than yesterday.

We walk through to the living room and he lights a fag and begins to smoke. I've finished my food so it doesn't bother me. Usually when he smokes he likes me to have a pull or two... Last time we saw each other properly we went to Bournemouth with his Mum and brother in the summer to a posh hotel by the sea and Denise would sit out with me and Matty morning and evening just smoking and talking! I think she's quit now because she's been on Matty's back about it apparently. Thing is I like smoking and I'm quite good at it... but I just don't want to get addicted. I expect Matty to offer me one so when he doesn't I ask
"Can I have one babe?"
"Nah.. sorry Hols I kind of need them all at the moment"
"Oh... but you only smoke 10 a day don't you? That's always been your rule! And I saw that you had another 10 in your jacket pocket?"
"Well... thing is it's not usually 10 a day these days" his voice is still expressionless but I can detect a note of guilt
"Oh... how many?"
"Look is that your business?" he snaps
"Well yes, you're here to get away from it all and try and get better!"
"That's coke, Hols, not just fags?! Anyway how much difference does having 20 instead make anyway?!" He raises his voice and stands up
"A lot!" I shout. He laughs a short, cold, sarcastic laugh and slumps into the armchair. He finishes that cigarette just as he's lighting the next. Great, now he's chain smoking. I leave the room to go and get a drink but before I go I ask him
"Do you want a drink?"
"Yeah, you got any wine?"
"Um... might do in the cupboard... why do you want wine at 8 in the morning?!"
"Why not?!" he snaps "we drank on Camp all the time... Fucking hell whatever happened to those days?!" He puts his head to his left hand and takes a long drag from the cigarette in his right, swirling the smoke around his face. As the light comes through from the window he looks so perfect. I can't refuse.
"There's some in the cupboard there" I say "don't take anything with a posh looking label"
"K" he replies, not exactly grateful.

As I walk upstairs with my orange juice to change for school, I feel a sudden pang of guilt for giving Matty that wine... that's a bad idea since he's coming into school with me today! I tell myself I'll take it off him when we leave, he won't drink too much by then. I dress in my DMs, black croc print leggings and big grey jumper. I throw my hair up in a bun and do simple makeup which covers my spots then finish it with a line of eyeliner. I grab my bag and put my Drama, English and History books into it. I run downstairs and into the lounge. Matty is sitting in the armchair with a small bowl which he's using as a makeshift ashtray next to him, a cigarette in one hand and a nearly empty bottle of wine in the other. The ashtray is very full,
"Jesus, Matty!" I say "there's like... I dunno... 15 fags in here and you've nearly finished the wine!"
"Fuck off, Hols" he sounds drunk
"Excuse me?!" I shout "don't fucking talk to me like that! We're going to school now so if you would try and look like you're not drunk and pull yourself together that would be nice!" He drags himself up and walks out of the room, his walk tells me he's definitely drunk.

In 5 minutes he comes down looking slightly more sober, I think he splashed cold water on his face because the front of his hair and his top is wet. I choose to ignore this as we leave the house and walk to the bus stop. He smokes all the way to the bus stop and when we're waiting. I'm this close to knocking the fag out of his hand when the bus pulls up. We buy our tickets and sit in the middle.

When we finally get to school I'm already late. I sign in and show Matty where the common room and library is where he has to stay while I'm in lessons. I tell him he can't smoke and that George will be here at 11. I kiss him quickly and go off to my next lesson. English with Stuart. I'm so glad to have a lesson with him, he'll cheer me up. I go in and sit next to him, apologising to Miss for being late.

"Oh... You reek of smoke! I guess Matty's here" he laughs a little
"Yeah" I smile "it's not going well if I'm honest"
"Oh, what's wrong?" He sounds genuinely concerned
"Well you know I said about how he was recovering from a coke addiction and all that... well he's basically being a dick to me" I try not to cry but I suddenly feel like I might
"Aw, Hols" he puts his hand on my arm "it'll be the craving, I'm sure he still loves you"
"Yeah you're probably right... it's just so hard"
"I know... well, let me know if you need help with him... my uncle was a heroin addict and he came to stay before doing rehab so I know how to help him to an extent"
"Oh okay that might be really helpful actually! Did your uncle get better?"
"Yeah! It took about a year to get fully clean but he did it!"
"That's great, that might help us" I smile "you're such a good friend Stuart"
"I try" we laugh.

I wonder why I don't just go out with Stuart... he clearly likes me and Matty really doesn't seem to at the moment. Stuart's reliable, well dressed, well spoken, kind, funny and he's not addicted to cocaine!
But then I answer my own question; there's something about Matty.

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PLEASE HELP:
I don't know whether to write a sequel book as this ones getting extremely long! What would you guys prefer? Please comment and help me decide!

THANK YOU FOR 15K!

Shoutout to FaithJay19 for all the lovely comments!

Xxxxx