disposition. | jack gilinsky

| Chapter 8 |

Sammy and I had knocked out next to each other. We snorted a tiny bit of coke on a whim and fucked two more times. When the smell of sex wore off, my feelings didn't wear off with it. Sammy was a peaceful sleeper. His leg was halfway off the bed and his right hand rested on top of his chest. The blanket was messily draped over him. When I woke up, I saw it was almost 7 and getting dark.

I sighed and thought about what a mess I got myself into. Wouldn't be the first mess and I'm sure it won't be the last. That's one of the reasons I didn't want to get too close to Jack. I'm sure he hates me now and if he's anything remotely close to me, he's probably fucking the anger away with this Lianne chick he mentioned. But how could I let someone I barely knew affect me so deeply? I've met tons of guys, TONS, and none of them ever had the ability to hit me in my soul like he has. Sammy couldn't even reach it with his dick (metaphorically, by the way). This was foreign to me and I was entirely too petrified to venture any deeper. I'll just have to roll with the punches.

Sammy had suggested he drove me home but I remembered the walking directions thanks to when Jack walked with me. It was cooler and windier than I thought it would be and I was shivering in my tank top. But I needed the alone time. When I got in the house, Cousin Jack was sitting on the couch watching a movie and eating Chips Ahoy with milk.

"Where were you?" He asked me.

"Out," I replied.

"I was worried."

"Well, I'm sorry. I just had a really shitty day. How did you get home?"

"Hitched a ride with Cameron."

"Cool. I'm going upstairs."

"Cameron likes you, you know? A lot."

I paused at the bottom of the stairs and turned around. "Well then, let's add him to the list, shall we?"

I stomped upstairs and into my room that was still lined with unpacked boxes my mother shipped after I boarded my flight here. I pulled out my phone and texted the one person I could talk to.

ME: I miss you tiger
TAYLOR: Miss u2 owl. How's Oma-yeehaw?
ME: it's...idk what to make of it dude. how's Cali without me?
TAYLOR: lame. but guess whaaaat
ME: ??
TAYLOR: me. you. 5 weeks from now. birthday madness.
ME: WHAT?! No way!!! Srsly?
TAYLOR: Hell yea i wouldnt miss ur 18th bday for the world owl! I got a hotel & everything
ME: omg that's the best thing i've heard all day, can't wait yooooo

_____________

"Welcome back Imogen," Manon said as I walked into Group late. Days have gone by and I didn't speak to Jack once. I barely even saw him. I wondered if he had been seeing me and would walk the other way.

I took my seat next to Aaron just like last time. Gilinsky was across from me, wearing a navy blue beanie with his arms folded. Manon babbled on about something for the next 45 minutes. Some shit about our feelings, I don't know. I was too busy trying to get Jack to at least look at me.

"Imogen?" I hear Manon say. I shook out of my zone and looked at her.

"Hmm?"

"I was saying I want everyone to speak about one positive experience this week," she explained. "Speaking positivity into existence helps us better ourselves."

I clicked my tongue. "Right. Well, I guess the only positive thing that happened that didn't turn into horse shit-"

"Words...Imogen," she said raising her palm to me.

"Sorry," I went on. "That didn't turn into horse crap, was finding out my best friend from Cali is going to visit me for my birthday. And we're gonna get fu- monumentally frazzled."