𝐸𝒩𝒟 𝐻𝐼𝒮 𝑅𝐸𝐼𝒢𝒩~ 𝒜 𝑅𝒪𝑀𝒜𝒩 𝑅𝐸𝐼𝒢𝒩𝒮 𝐹𝒜𝒩𝐹𝐼𝒞𝒯𝐼𝒪𝒩

23; Scared

scared•fearful; frightened.

~
I was drinking my glass of wine with Nikki, Artem, and Brie. They were making me laugh and for a moment, forget about the Roman situation.

"So your brother plays professional football, or soccer?" Artem asked me.

"Yes he does. He plays for the Colombia National Football team." I nodded.

"That's really cool," Brie said. "How long has he been playing?"

"Umm," I thought for a moment. "Four, almost five years I think."

"Does he have a girlfriend?" Nikki inquired.

I shook my head. "No. He's always saying he doesn't need one or he wants to focus on his career. But it's been some time so."

"You know what's crazy is that-"

"We're here!" The front door slammed and Daniels voice beamed through the house.

"Hey guys." Brie stood up and kissed her husband. I greeted Daniel and looked at Roman.

He came over and kissed me, which threw me off guard a bit. "Hi." He sat next to me.

"Hi, how was the flight?" I asked him.

"It was good, it was quicker than expected." Roman said.

I fixed his shirt, "That's good. How are you feeling? You okay?"

I felt him tense up. "I'm good."

"Okay." I quietly said and turned back to our friends.

Nikki and Brie started talking about the things they had planned for us while we were here. I watched Roman. He looked tired and like he was hurting, but I didn't say anything, avoiding a fight.

~
A few days later, we were back in Tampa for Roman's next round of treatment. We really didn't even talk when we got back home. I just kept doing what I needed to and he ignored me.

"Now that we're off for some time," Roman said and I looked up. "We should talk about the wedding."

I shut my phone off, "Okay. What about the wedding?"

"I want to have it during this break we have." He said and took a drink of water. "Within seven months."

"Wow okay." I ran my hands through my hair. "We would have to start planning literally now and send the invites, within the next two weeks. Especially booking a venue."

"We could start after my session is over. I could call and get the wedding planner that Naomi had."

I looked at him, wide eyed. "Babe I think we should just focus on your health first. Figure this out and then we'll see. We can for sure start looking at some ideas for the wedding but doing this all right now, I mean, it's a bit much, don't you think?"

He sighed, frustrated. "Why can't we just start it now?"

"Roman... I really don't want to fight right now."

"We're not fighting, you just shut me down like that."

I grabbed the car keys, "Just like you shut me down every time I try to help you." I stood up and grabbed my purse, "I'll be in the car."

"Luciana!" I heard him call after me as I walked out of the hospital.

I walked to the parking lot and got in the car. The tears spilled from my eyes. I had zero clue on what to do. Not too long ago, I was living a fairytale. Now, I don't know what stage this is.

~
Roman finished and got into the passenger seat. I started the car and drove to a grocery store.

"I need to get a few things for dinner tonight," I said and pulled into the parking spot. "You gonna stay in the car?"

He unbuckled his seatbelt, "I'll go."

The pair got out of the car and walked inside. Luciana grabbed a cart and walked throughout the store, Roman following behind her.

"So you're just not gonna talk to me?" Roman took over pushing the cart.

I shrugged and looked at the shelves, seeing what I needed. "Stop being a douche and maybe I will." I threw some items in the cart and walked away.

~
Once we were home, I immediately started to make dinner. I was making Sudado de Pollo. I hadn't spoken a word to him since the store. Honestly, I'll be damned if I get disrespected. He wants to play the quiet distant game, then game on.

He came in the kitchen and wrapped his arms around my waist. His chin resting on my shoulder.

"I'm sorry." He sighed.

I kept my focus on the food, ignoring his apology.

"Baby please. Talk to me." Roman pleased.

"Why should I?" I scoffed. "You don't talk to me."

He looked down, "I know... I'm sorry that I don't. It's just, every time this happens, it always me and my family. I never had just me and one other person. It's weird to me now, now I have a fiancé who is taking care of me. I'm not used to it."

"Roman, I'm willing to take care of you okay. But you're so unwilling to talk about your emotions and how weak or strong you are. I never know, is it gonna be a good day or a bad day?"

"I'm not usually an open person when it comes to my feelings," he ran his hands over his face.

I slightly chuckled and faced him, "Weren't you the one who told me you loved me since we were eighteen?"

His face fell. He had zero clue what to say. He was stuck. Right where I wanted him.

"I know this isn't easy for you. But you asked me to marry you. You're kind of obligated to tell me what you're feeling. If I didn't tell you anything, you'd be worried about my mental health stage. We both agreed we were in this together."

"Luci I know we did. I just don't want to put this pressure and stress on you-"

"You not telling me anything, is giving me stress. I'm literally going on your mood and actions. I'm guessing. I want to help you. Because Roman I am terrified for you to lose this fight. I seen my dad lose his. I've already put two people in the ground, and I am not about to make it a third."

He grabbed me and pulled me into a tight hug. "You're not going to, I promise. I'm sorry I've been shutting you out and being an ass. You're my fiancé and we're in this together."

"Just promise me, starting now, we're in this together. And you'll open up and talk to me." I mumbled into his chest.

"I promise, I promise." He titled my head up, to look at him. "I'm sorry baby, I'm really sorry. Starting now, it's me and you. Okay? I love you my baby, I'm sorry."

"I forgive you." I sighed. "I love you too." I stood on my tippy toes and kissed him.

He smirked against my lips and picked me up. "Alright, now what's for dinner?"

~
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to be continued