Dead Leaves // BrightWin

14: Chaos

Have you ever felt betrayed?

Betrayal is the most painful thing you could ever done to someone, it comes with that undeniable and unrecognizable hate that starts to build inside you. It starts to eat you whole and the next thing you knew, everything is gone and you felt like that one lost boy again; lost and blinded with the truth.

Its been two weeks ever since that night.

Bright came to terms with getting what was meant for him and decided it's best to just moved out of that damned house and be somewhere far and in peace—Bright wasn't harsh to be honest, he barely even cursed them, he didn't even felt one tear drop in his eyes, he didn't even do anything that could harm his so-called father, as much as it hurts him, he did not do anything that could possibly make him feel pain because bright, of all people knows how it feels when the world turns its back against you leaving you with nothing and no one.

Sure, he got what his biological parent's left for him but it did not meant the world to him, Bright took them as their only living memory and he will do whatever it takes to let it live. Money is not everything, he was longing for something priceless; love from someone.

A love that won't make him doubt himself, a love that is right and will make him feel safe at home.

He laughs bitterly at the thought of Win trying to stop him as he leave their house, he laughs and cries because he left his love and life for him to love himself back again. Bright didn't even realized that he never considered himself and was always looking out for Win, his love; only love.

He won't say Win was selfish because he knows too, the younger took risks and efforts the same as he did but the weight on his chest and shoulders are too much it was almost impossible for him to still carry on and so he lets go;he let go the love he patiently waited for years only for it to be taken away yet again. He maybe greedy but is it wrong of him to ask for what he really craves? what he needs? what he wants? Is it wrong to ask for love?

Bright couldn't keep track of his state the first week he was drunk and barely sober, he drowned himself with alcohol and cigarettes; his bad habit "Look at that, at the end it was you and me" Bright says particularly to no one but himself and his pack of cigarettes, sitting on the cold floor of his new apartment, lights out, making the moonlight through his window shine beautifully.

"What a disaster" he mumbles under his breath before he finishes his cigarette stick in the speed of light.

Bright has to go back to the university and get a new phone as his current one was badly crushed due to his anger issues, he sighed heavily because its just the same routine, sleepless night and a sad life. He just wants to cry it all out but he can't even let one tear drop in his eyes, he was so used to the pain that he can't even determine which hurts more, was it when i knew the whole truth? was it the part where they lied to me all this time? or was it the part the love of my life knew it all along? or maybe it was the part where he lost win for real, this time?

When Win had to go to california for his studies, Bright thought he had lost him and when win decided to stay abroad for college he was so sure he lost Win but then Win comes home all of a sudden and Bright was given hope, he was able to feel again, to feel all the emotions and feelings, it was all way too overwhelming and for the very first time he was so sure that he nothing would go wrong this time but guessed he was meant to be with pain all along—He lost Win again, and this time he lost him for real.

He lost the love of his life.

And Win Metawin is now just Bright's totga; the one that got away.