Death's Ledger

Chapter 16 - Leave Her

Finally, the shock started to recede. The stars vanished from my sight and I stood in the middle of Suite 23, panting like a dog; my eyes watering.

Nolan's eyes widened. "She can't stay here."

"So what do we do?" Blaire asked, pressing a hand against my arm. I recoiled, clutching a hand to my chest. I didn't like where this conversation was headed. "Surely, a place swarming with collectors would put the Shades off, don't you think?"

"She needs to go," Nolan said. The words brought me back down to earth. "Now!"

"What?" Blaire said, breathlessly. "Can't we just take her somewhere safe?"

Blaire not only put up with me, but now she was sticking up for me. The whole scenario felt surreal. Nobody should be sticking up for me. I was the lowest of the low, the worst of the worst. I had one goal, but in the last few days I've put her in more danger than I wanted. What was I supposed to do with this realization?

"She's a danger to all of us now! Shades always find their kind."

I suddenly felt Nolan's hands on my arms, none too gentle either, as he jerked me out the door. "Tell Gabriel I'll be looking for him!" With a fast movement, I suddenly twisted out of his grip. Blaire reached for me. I jerked to the side and tried to escape through the small gap that I created between the two of them.

"You can't do this, Nolan!" Blaire yelled.

"I said leave her! Do you know what will happen if they find her with us?" Nolan roared.

Now the fear was so high, I couldn't think rationally. I tried to move the panic aside, to think clearly, think about my tree. But it was too hard. Nolan and Blaire's faces swam into view and then disappeared again. I blinked, trying to see clearly.

"Sage!"

I heard Blaire's cry, but I turned and fled, hoping to find safety in the streets.

I ran through the empty parking lot and down Cedar and 1st. Low tree branches reached out and yanked at my hair, shadows reached for my face, and made my eyes tear. I ran until I couldn't run anymore, until the burst of adrenaline died and I crashed soon after, tripping over a pile of garbage bags and straight against a dumpster. Colors and sounds overwhelmed my mind and I curled my knees into my chest, holding my head between my knees as it threatened to explode. My breath was a constant gasp and colors flew in front of my vision, as if I was falling to the earth. Alone.

I'm not sure how long I stayed like that. However long it was, it felt like torturous hours before the roar in my ears finally died down and my mind swung back into place. I sat up slowly, everything that had happened fell into place in my memory like a waterfall. It seemed as if I'd lost a soul years ago, not just a few days ago.

And with memory came pain.

"I'm cursed," I murmured, reality sinking in. I pushed my fingers against the asphalt below me and stared ahead in a daze. "I'm going to turn into a monster."

Standing up and kicking the dumpster, I yelled "No!" I couldn't believe it. Blaire was going to leave me, because of Nolan. And Nolan kicked me out. I hate getting kicked out of places. I never get kicked out of anywhere in the city. I would never hurt anyone. Blaire knows that, doesn't she?

"What the hell am I going to do?" I breathed, putting my hands in my hair. This was all my fault. They're going to be in danger because of me.

Please no, I begged. Please let this be a dream. Please.

But I knew, no matter how much I begged, that I wasn't going to wake up from this one. I didn't know how much time had passed since we'd arrived at Nolan's, but the sky was getting lighter. I hugged my arms, unsure of what to do.

Okay, calm down. I thought to myself. You're in a bad situation, but you'll survive, just like all the other times. I took a deep breath and nodded to myself, then took off toward Warren & 5th, slower this time. My tree was the best place to start.

Not a soul was in sight. The smell of garbage still lingered in the morning air. Fear began mounting again, and I forced myself to calm down. I heard noises behind me and quickly took cover behind an old fence. My heart pounded quickly as a group of Shades walked by about thirty yards away. I lifted my head just barely so I could peek between two wooden poles in the fence to get a better view.

I couldn't see them clearly, but their faces were rotten and torn, reminiscent of the ones from the ones I'd see in the park on the North End. I noticed their clothes were torn, handing off their bodies like rags on a laundry string. As soon as they passed I stood up and sprinted to a couple of trash bins and continued on like that; a fearful and risky run, a pause for a couple of seconds, and another run to the next hiding spot until I reached my tree.

A part of me thought that maybe once I got to my tree, everything would disappear and it would just be a bad dream. I felt tears sting my eyes and I wiped them away angrily.

"Sage?"

It seemed like forever since I heard his voice. When Gabriel jumped down from the lowest branch of my tree, I ran across the street and into his arms. "Oh, Gabriel," I said, close to sobbing.

"Sage, you're shaking," he said, holding me tighter. The light stubble of his beard scratched against my cheek, but I didn't care; he smelled like a forest, mysterious and dark. "Don't worry, I'm here. You're okay now."

"I was so scared," I said through my tears. I pressed my face into his sweater, feeling his aura. His emptiness was soothing, absorbing. Something about being held in this man's arms had felt so strangely familiar. Comforting.

I pushed the thought aside and watched as he lowered his head to look me in the eyes. "What happened?" he asked. "Just try to calm down and start at the beginning."

I explained the entire story - omitting the details about my encounter with Death out of caution - while he listened intently, never doubting me once. "Do you think that they're going to find me?" I asked desperately. "You must think I'm crazy," I said as I smoothed out my shirt.

"No," he said firmly. "Not at all. We're going to figure this thing out together. I'm here for you, Sage."

He gave me a long hug, and I was sure he could feel my entire body trembling. "I'm so glad you're okay," I murmured. "I was so scared that you were taken by those things ..."

Gabriel held me close and ran his hand up and down my back. Then he brushed the hair away from my face before wiping the tears from my eyes.

"I'm sorry. I know I look ridiculous," I explained. "I just wanted to get out of there - away from them. Away from Nolan."

"I know. And you don't look ridiculous at all, you just look ... athletic, if you ask me," he said. "Do you want to go up and get some rest?"

"I don't know," I said as I sucked in a trembling breath. "I'm scared."

"Trust me, I've seen worse in Walmart after dark," Gabriel replied, trying to cheer me up. I laughed a little and stopped crying, so it must have worked. "I'll be right here with you. I promise I won't let anything happen to you - not ever," he said.

I climbed up to my branch, but noticed Gabriel was kind of lingering behind on the ground.

"It's okay," I said, smiling. "You can come up."

"Thanks." He grinned.

He was so polite, waiting for an invitation. I found it kind of adorable for a misfit.