Not so innocent

six

Finally someone did something, but I honestly don't know if I preferred unbearable silence over what was about to happen. Joe slowly waved his hand, signalling for me to come closer. I slowly approached the car, walking the walk of shame. I stopped about two meters in front of Joe, but at this point, Mason had clearly lost all patience. He took three quick steps forward, grabbed me by the collar and dragged me to the car, were he slammed my head into the car door. I immediately fell to the ground. I didn't even dare to look up at Mason. I was ashamed. I didn't even think about getting mad, i was sure that i deserved every bit of it. All the pain that just went through my body, and the fact that i couldn't see straight ahead, no mather how hard i tried. I was sure that i deserved it. 

I was in so much pain that i didn't even register the fact that Joe, got Mason and the twins to go inside. And i didn't even notice Nick and Boomer driving home getting yelled at by Joe. And i didn't understand the conversation, Caleb and Joe had. And i hardly even noticed when Joe did everything he could to keep me awake. And i couldn't feel my body anymore as Joe picked me up and strapped me in the backseat. I could no longer ignore the high sound, that only i kept hearing, when Mason and the twins got back. And i didn't notice the way they starred at me. I couldn't see if it was anger or regret lingering on Mason's face. Or if Sergio slapped me in the face to keep me awake or to hurt me. 

And i almost didn't hear Aiden say, that he always knew i would fuck up. Almost.

I had fallen asleep when Mason carried me upstairs. Some might would say that that was a bad way to go when I perhaps had gotten a concussion, but that clearly didn't cross their minds.

When i woke up it was bright outside. And i wasn't scared anymore. I was just... waiting i guess. Waiting for them to forget about this whole thing. Because there is no doubt, that they have lost any tiny amount of trust they once had for me.

I didn't dare to make my way downstairs, so i just sat still. Waiting for my doom to arrive. But after perhaps half an hour or so, i became hungry. But i was still scared shitless. So i waited. But then another half an hour passed, and i couldn't ignore the hunger any longer, so i slowly made my way downstairs. Only to find the twins sitting on the couch playing a videogame, but not as enthusiastic as usual. They didn't even talk. I made my way to the fridge as silent as possible but their heads instantly jerked in my direction, and they both jumped up from the couch, heading my direction. I tried to ignore them and started to search the fridge, to find my gourmet meal.

"You finally up?" Aiden asked, even though i was clearly standing right there. I just vaguely nodded. Our fridge was boring.

"You okay?" Sergio seemed concerned. What an odd question, i thought. Again i just vaguely nodded, and decided on chicken wings. "You know, we weren't cool about what Mason did," he said hesitantly.

"Sure," i said, clearly not convinced, but also not really caring. I made my way to the kitchen island and dug into my 'fancy' dinner.

"No, Alec, were for real," Aiden tried. "That was not okay..."

"But you have to understand," Sergio continued. "He was really mad, and taken by surprise..."

"He never meant to hurt you," Aiden then said.

"Look guys, i get it, i fucked up, okay?" I suddenly exclaimed as i quickly stood up from were i sat. "I deserved it, and that's... that's just how it is." I said, my voice much more quiet.

There was a long silence. No one really had anything to say. It wasn't really bad, nor good. Not even awkward. Just silent. Eventually Aiden and Sergio returned to their game but it seemed as if they had lost interest. They kind off just stared blankly into the screen. 

I suddenly didn't wanna be there anymore. I didn't even care to change my clothes, I just threw on a pair of shoes and a jacket over my sweatpants, and hurried out the door. I just barely heard Aiden warn me of my fate if I left without Joes permission. But who was I to give a fuck?

I hurried down the street, away from our house, whilst trying to get the least attention as possible. My brothers knew to many people, and right now I wouldn't like to be recognized. Not by friends nor enemies. Quickly I found myself in unknown territory, and for some odd reason I felt more safe here, than I had in our own kitchen with Aiden and Sergio. It wasn't exactly a nice neighborhood though. Not that ours was either. The houses was old and small, and the painting was peeling off more places than not. Graffiti was the closest this place would ever get to art, and they sure had a lot of it. I was sure people were walking with guns, and they definitely wouldn't like a stranger snooping through their stuff. Therefor I was just about to leave, when something, or should I say someone stopped me:

"Im sorry, this is gonna sound strange... but don't we have english class together?"