Not so innocent

thirteen

It was a thursday evening when I messed up really bad. I had been grounded for two and a half weeks and I simply couldn't stand it any more. I was missing my friends, my phone, my freedom... everything! And I knew I needed to talk to Joe and Mason about it before I did something stupid. 

"Joe..." I clasped my hands together in a begging motion whilst looking at him with big eyes. We were sitting at the table, Mason, Joe and I. I was desperately working on the essay, even though Harper would probably delete it. Not because she was mean. Simply because she had to save us from getting an F.

"No," was all he said. He didn't even look at me. He was to 'busy' counting some cash. There wasn't even that many. Mason, on the other hand, was deeply concentrating on learning a new cart trick. It wasn't exactly going well.

"Shit!" Mason exclaimed as he dropped the pile of cards for the fifth time. Then he turned his eyes to me. "Oh come on, Joe, give the kid a chance. What do you wan't, Alec?" 

Joe shot him an annoyed look but didn't stop me, so I continued.

"You know... it's just because... like... I'm... uh..." They were both staring at me with both disbelief and humor in their eyes. "Ugh, nevermind..." I sighed, knowing I had already lost.

"Alec, come on," Joe said, now butting in. "What's on your mind."

"You're gonna say no," I stated, sounding defeated.

"Test us," Mason tried.

I waited a bit, debating on wether or not I should give it a go.

"Don't you think I've been grounded for long enough?" My voice sounded small, and I hated myself for it.

And then they started laughing. The fuckers started laughing. I was just sat there awkwardly staring into my hands, feeling as defeated as I sounded earlier. I was on the brink of tears but refused to cry in front of them. 

"Alec, come on..." Joe mumbled, whilst shaking his head, as if to say I was just straight up crazy.

"But it's bullshit!" I whined while slamming my hands on the table.

"Alec!" Mason yelled. "Don't act up like that."

"Or what?" I challenged, suddenly feeling braver than I probably should've. "You're gonna hit me again?" It was almost only a whisper, but I couldn't help but ask. Just to spite him. We hadn't talked about that ever since it happened, and it had been on my mind ever since. But you don't just bring it up, like 'Oh remember when you almost gave me a concussion, because you body slammed me into a car? Yeah, that was fun.'

"Oh relax Alec, you've been hit worse before," Mason mumbled, not seeming one bit phased by my comment.

"Yeah, and if you don't soon shut up, you're gonna get hit even worse again," Joe stated, with his no-bullshit-voice. But I was having none of it.

"What the fuck is wrong with you guys?!" I yelled as I stood up from my chair with so much power that it fell backwards. "Are you crazy?!"

"Alexander..." Joe seethed, through gritted teeth. With his words came all sorts of warnings and threats but I was seeing red and couldn't think rationally.

"No! No! This is messed up! What do you expect from me? That I can grow up in a gang environment like this, and not get involved with drugs? I am well fucking aware that that's how you put food on the table, but the second I touch it you both beat me up! And I haven't even tried it, but you wouldn't know that because YOU NEVER ASKED. We never sat down and talked one bit about it. You just did what you always do. You assumed! You fucking assumed... yeah, because you know everything right?! I'm going insane, being locked in here with you fuckers, but you. wouldn't. care..." As I was done with my word vomit my courage had slowly disappeared, and oh how I wished it had disappeared earlier. I was scared to look at them. I could only imagine the seething looks on their faces, and the anger in their eyes.

But as I looked towards my two eldest brothers I saw something weird. Something that isn't often practiced at the Garcia-household. They both had a look of compassion in their eyes. As if they felt bad for me.

"Sit down, Alec," Joe said calmly, as he pointed towards the tilted chair.

I slowly picked up the chair, and sat down. My heart was in my throat. I was terrified. I had no idea what they would do, but I refused to believe that they held no anger towards me. It was like holding a ticking bomb. I had no idea when they would explode.

Joe slowly leaned back in the chair and started tipping back and forth. He kept running his hand over his short hair, while having a thoughtful look on his face. Mason got up and went over to the kitchen window where he lit a cigarette. Neither of them said anything. There was this killing silence in the room. As in a slaughterhouse before all the animals gets butchered. Mason finished his cigarette, but lit another one. He had a problem. Of course he had. 

"Stop crying." I looked up, taken aback by Joe's harsh comment. I hadn't even realized that I was crying. My face turned red from embarrassment, knowing that they now, saw me as an even bigger baby.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled, while aggressively wiping my tears away. 

"Do you think we're crazy, Alec?" Mason suddenly asked, all whilst still facing away from me and Joe, whom were still sat at the table. He didn't sound angry. He almost sounded sad. Almost.

"You deal drugs..." It wasn't a yes or a no, but it was the truth.

"That's a statement - not an answer, Alec," Joe commented, slightly harsher than I had expected.

"I don't think you're crazy." My voice was nearly a whisper.

Mason put out the cigaret on the counter before he came back to the table, where he silently sat down. But this time he sat right across from me, and I had to fight every urge in my body to stop myself from crying. Both out of fear and sadness.

I didn't like the turn of events. This wasn't how it should've gone...

***** Oh no! Alec truly messed up... Do you think he's right, though? Are they really that messed up? But once again, thank you so much for reading, and please leave a vote (press the star at the bottom of your screen) if you like it <3****