a little risky |t.k|

six

Jimin was tranquil.

He had been quiet following the day Jeongguk came out of his room. After they had their conversation in the bathroom Jimin had said little to nothing. Jimin would occasionally text him where he was so that Jeongguk could pick him up or ask where Jeongguk was to pick him up. Every once in awhile Jeongguk would ask him about class and receive the most simplistic response. Jimin would silently call out his name softly whenever dinner was ready. He would seldom ask him for laundry, contradictory to normal. It was like Jimin had entered Zen mode. He wasn't neglecting him nor meaningfully acknowledge him.

In the beginning, Jeongguk didn't notice the change. He was still recovering from his depressive episode. At first, he simply didn't show any concern for the strange behaviour as they both were silent and moving in a routine with no regard for conversation. As he slowly began to adjust to the normalcy and recover from his melancholy, Jeongguk began to notice the drastic change in their dynamic, his best friend was unenthusiastic. He had become lethargic and indifferent.

Jimin was not particularly targeting this apathetic behaviour towards him but was quiet in general, Jeongguk noticed that during class Jimin would barely speak and shut down any approach or advance from anyone.

Jeongguk was quickly realising the abnormality in Jimin's conduct. In his mind, alarm bells were going off. He was extremely worried and had no idea why he was acting like this. Every little thing, every interaction, every time he saw Jimin, there would be a heavy pain in his chest, a stabbing feeling that would feel like his heart was being compressed. He hated it.

After a few days of this senseless and monotonous cycle, Jeongguk couldn't handle it anymore. He needed to know what was wrong, what made Jimin act like this. Jeongguk was slowly cracking, He couldn't handle this type of treatment from his lively roommate.

He felt himself slowly breaking down as he saw Jimin was getting ready to leave for class, not even sparing Jeongguk a glance and that's when he decided it was enough.

"Jimin...", he called out as Jimin opened the door, he grabbed his hand so that Jimin would turn and face him. He didn't want Jimin to brush him off, give him a soulless response without even making eye-contact. Jeongguk slowly gripped on his hand, pushing the pads of his fingers deeper into the palm of Jimin's skin.

"Yes?"

There it was again, the simple one-word replies that made Jeongguk's heart ache.

"Jimin.", Jeongguk spoke up again to try and evoke a more engaging response from the latter.

"Yes."

Again, the same monotonous response. The man who would speak fifteen words per second and reply in paragraphs to a yes or no question, was answering with a single word just as he had been for the past few days.

"Jimin...", Jeongguk trailed off for a second trying to look for some kind of emotion in Jimin's eyes, something that would give him hope that Jimin was still there inside, the Jimin who was full of life and whose eyes glowed with enthusiasm.

"Can we talk?"

"Yes?"

Jeongguk was tired of hearing that word, he was fed up of hearing cold and dull responses. But, he wasn't going to let it continue like this, he was going to get to the core of this.

He pulled Jimin's hand and led him to the sofa, waiting for a retort or some kind of reaction. But of course, he just followed in silence.

Jeongguk didn't care if they missed class. He was losing his best friend. Education was the last thing on his mind.

Jeongguk sat Jimin down on the sofa and pushed himself down next to him.

"Minnie. What's wrong?", Jeongguk started, hoping to elicit some sort of reaction from Jimin by using that nickname. It seemed to work as Jimin visibly tensed up and clutched Jeongguk's hand harder.

"Gguk, I-", Jimin started, he wasn't sure what to tell him, he didn't have an explanation. He didn't have a reason or a motive. He just didn't know.

"It's okay, you don't have to give me an essay.", Jeongguk intervened and gave Jimin a small smile.

"Just, please give me an answer. An honest one.", Jeongguk felt his eyes dampen as he stared at their hands, still intertwined.

"Please."

"Jeongguk, I'm sorry.", he started. Jimin gave him a strained smile, he hadn't smiled in a while now.

"I was upset, so upset, angry even."

Jeongguk remained calm, paying attention to every word, every movement, every articulation, every movement that Jimin made.

"Why?", he simply replied.

"The thing you told me, after your...seclusion.", Jimin didn't want to say anything that would trigger or provoke Jeongguk. He didn't want Jeongguk to go back to that state.

"You can say it, Minnie. I'm better now. I was just-", Jeongguk paused looking down, recalling the events that had happened in these past two weeks. "I was a bit surprised after seeing him. It's been so long, you know."

"Yeah.", Jimin confirmed. It had been so long, trying to forget years of memories, and they just were hurtled back to him in a split second.

"Jeongguk, I was so upset when you mentioned him. When you asked me if he loved you, when you told me you kissed him."

Jeongguk just looked down, listening to every word Jimin pronounced. He didn't know what to say.

He didn't know if he regretted or just wanted to regret it for the sake of them both.

"I was so mad."

Jeongguk knew how much Jimin despised him. Jimin had every right to hate him. Jeongguk wanted to resent him too. He just simply couldn't.

"I think we should move past this. I'm sorry I did that. It just happened and I didn't know how to react or feel.", Jeongguk reassured. He didn't want to go back to the past. He was happy, he was stable. He liked his life this way. He needed it to stay like this. He didn't know if his heart to endure fragmenting again.

"I was so mad that I could snap at any moment. I didn't want to say or do something I would regret so I just stayed quiet."

"Please don't do that again. I couldn't bear another second of it."

Jimin pulled Jeonggukk into his embrace. He had always been to engage in affection and Jeongguk didn't mind, he needed it.

"I'm sorry. I won't."

"I won't do that again, either."

"I know. You're smart enough to make your own decisions. I was just worried. After he did that to you...", Jimin didn't know if he should continue. He hated mentioning Jeongguk's past.

"It's okay."

They were there for each other. Jeongguk's gentle arms that still gave them space to breathe but was still comforting; then the hug of Jimin's strong arms that communicated beyond words that they were there for each other.

In each other's embrace, the world stopped still on its axis. There was no time, no wind, no rain. Everything was at peace. They felt each other's body press in, soft and warm. This was the love Jeongguk had waited for, prayed for. He inwardly thanked God and hugged him a little, hoping that Jimin would never leave him tighter. A love like this was to be cherished for life. Finally, he was home.

They stayed liked that. In each other's arms. All they needed to know was that the other was okay. They didn't need old wounds to tatter their life long friendship.

They were together.

They were content.