a little risky |t.k|

four

"Where is your cousin?", Jeongguk asked, putting the empty bowl aside. "Probably in the study. He's a bookworm. You can stay around, I guess. Unless he kicks you out. I have a date so, later loser." 

And with that Yeri left. Jeongguk was still perplexed as to why a stranger would be so considerate of someone. Yeri seemed like she didn't care which wasn't very surprising. She came off as a carefree girl.

He decided to take a shower and probably head out. He didn't need to stay here much longer, especially with someone he didn't know. 

He took a quick shower, he didn't need to waste his time in there as usual because this wasn't his place.

As he was about to go downstairs to grab his phone, he heard music playing from what he assumed to be the study. He listened closer, curiosity getting the best of him. Jeongguk felt like he had heard this song before, it was a tune he most definitely recognized. He simply couldn't put his finger on it. His ears perked up at the lyrics, he walked closer to the slightly open door. Leaning against the door frame, he closed his eyes. His ears solely focusing on the record player, sing every word.  

Why do I do just as you say? 

Why must I just give you your way?

He didn't know why he began to chew on his lips. his nails scratching against the wall, as he upper and lower lashes were tangled from the way he was squeezing his eyes shut. 

Why do I sigh?

Why don't I try to forget?

His heart began to clench as every syllable danced over his eardrums. The notes mocking him. A bead of sweat trailed down his hair and slid down his jaw. It dripped down his chin and onto the floor as if on queue with the next note. 

It must have been that something lovers call fate

Kept me saying "I had to wait"

I saw them all

Just couldn't fall 'til we met

It had to be you

And with that something in Jeongguk clicked. Loud and clear, he felt the memories pushing him like a hurricane. Each and everyone brushing his body like wind, he felt like he would be blown away at this point. His body was frozen. He was forced to remember everything, watch it fly past his eyes as he recalled it all. Pinned down by the music as he felt every emotion from the beginning of it all. To the heartbreaking end.

It had to be you. It had to be you. It had to be-

"You."

Jeongguk snapped out of the cage and slammed open the door. To find the man he despised the most in life. 

"Kim Taehyung."

The man who gave him everything and took it away in the blink of an eye. The man who took his everything away, like taking candy from a child. Precisely like taking candy from a child.

After all, he was a child back then.

Jeongguk glared at him with every ounce of disgust. He mustered up every last bit of hatred in him and projected it through his eyes, staring him down. The said man simply looked up at him from his book, with that same expression. 

He looked at him the same way he did back then. Like he was a flower, delicate, and beautiful. Something he had to treasure or he would wither. Like he was the most mesmerizing gift of nature.

Jeongguk wanted to scream, punch him senseless. He wanted to ask him so many questions. He wanted to let him know how much of a piece of shit he was, how much of a liar he was. How much of terrible person he was. 

He opened his mouth to let out every insult in the book but nothing came out. Only one thing flowed out. Tears.

Hot, burning tears falling in rage and pain. He clenched his jaw, to the point where he could feel his mandible grow numb. The tears would stop, even after he rubbed his face raw.

"No. No. No! I'm not going to cry over you! Goddamnit. Not again- No!", he continued to vigorously rub his face. He didn't know why he was crying, Taehyung should be the one crying. He should be the one to feel all the pain in the world. He deserved every horrible thing to exist. He should be sobbing writing now.

But he wasn't. 

He was walking towards Jeongguk. His expression changed to one of concern. 

Jeongguk didn't want his pity.

He crouched down to Jeongguk, who was still busy trying to shut down his tears ducts. "Jeongguk...", he placed a hand on his cheek, the same way he used to. He sat crisscross onto the floor.

He pulled Jeongguk towards him, cradling him in his arms. He pushed away Jeongguk's hands from his face so that he wouldn't rub the skin off his face. 

Jeongguk wanted to push him away, he wanted to scream for Taehyung to let go. But he didn't, he couldn't push him away. The warmth of his embrace was all too wonderful. It felt so good, he could stay like this forever. 

The way Taehyung's arms curled around his frame, the way Jeongguk could smell his cologne. It was like magic. In the blink of an eye, Jeongguk was calm.

After a moments embrace, Jeongguk shuffled his head to look up at Taehyung. They both looked at each. Jeongguk's eyes disdained, the tear-stained cheeks flushed. Taehyung eyes were gentle with maybe a hinge of regret.

They both were mute. They had a thousand things to say but not a word came out.  Not like they didn't know how to speak, they just didn't know how to communicate. 

After an endless silence, Jeongguk saw Taehyung hesitate to speak up.

"I'm sorry."

Taehyung kissed him, slowly catching Jeongguk's lips to move along with his. The kiss was simply, a kiss.

It wasn't desperate, lustful or even passionate. But it wasn't taken for granted. It was lived in the moment. 

They don't know how long it went on but when they pulled away Taehyung saw something in Jeongguk's eyes.

Regret.

That's the last thing Taehyung saw of Jeongguk before he pushed Taehyung off of him and sprinted out the door. 

Taehyung just sat there on the for as he watched Jeongguk leave. He sat there drowning in self-pity.

You deserve it. 

The sky turned dark and Taehyung was sat still in his chair, reading the same line of the same book because every time he would finish the sentence, the full-stop acted like a reset button erasing the information from his mind. He sat in silence.

Staring at nothing, thinking about something. 

"Hey bro, what do you want to eat?", he heard Yeri call out from down stairs. This was the third time she had asked. 

He was yet to answer as his mind was clouded with one thing.

Jeongguk.