Reason To Be (A Zouis Family AU)

Interlude Two, Chapter Four

He reaches a hand across the counter and settles it on the boy's wrist, thumb rubbing over his pulse point so he can feel the gentle thrum there. "You should care. I let you down. I messed up big time. And you're allowed to be mad at me for it," he says, and Liam pauses before setting down the paint brush and huffing our a breath, glancing up again.

"I'm really not mad," he murmurs, and his brown eyes are so sincere as they bear into his that he knows it isn't another lie. The boy swallows and shrugs. "I just...it was important to me and you weren't there. And I wanted you to be there, 'cause you're one of my dads and - and you just forgot. It made me feel like - I don't know. Like I'm less important to you than some dumb job," he says honestly.

And this - this is good. It's good that his son is telling him the truth, regardless of how it hurts. God knows Liam has spent most of his life avoiding all honesty with his parents.

So this is good. It's progress and Zayn can work with that.

He nods, lips pressed together. "You're not. You're the most important thing in my life, you boys and your Dad. And I can't give you an excuse or go back in time and change things, but I want to make it up to you. So just tell me how and I will," he says softly, eyes flirting to Niall as the boy frowns at his painting, lifting a hand to swipe at his cheek. He leaves a streak of bright blue paint behind.

Liam stares at him for a moment before he scoffs. "Papa, I don't want you to make it up to me. I just - I want you to be sorry and never do it again," he says, and Zayn winces, nodding quickly.

"I am, bud. And I won't. I love you boys so much and the last thing I would ever want to do is upset any of you. But I did. And I'm the sorriest I've ever been."

Liam just smiles then, before he sighs and slips off of his chair, rounding the counter to stand by the man's side before he wraps his arms around him. Zayn blinks in surprise before his own arms move up like clockwork to wrap around the boy, before he lets out a breath and melts into the hug, squeezing him tightly.

"We love you too Papa," he murmurs, and he smiles at the genuineness in the boys voice. He squeezes him a little tighter until the teen lets out a wheezy laugh and bats an arm against him. "Papa!"

He breaks a way with a laugh then, swiping at his damp eyes before looking up at the boy a little more seriously. "I'm proud of you, son," he says softly, and Liam smiles bashfully, ducking his head and nodding before Niall suddenly looks up with a grin.

His face probably has just as much paint on than the paper in front of him and Zayn huffs our a laugh as Liam just observed the boy with an amused expression. "I finished it," he says proudly, gently picking up the picture by the corners. "It's our house, so - so Haz can take it with him if he goes to camp again, and then he won't get homesick," he explains.

And Zayn is impressed. The kids portrayal of their home, the slanted roof, the red front door, the flowers on the front lawn and the gravel of the driveway...it's pretty damn good. He's even included the minor detail of the bird mess splattered on the living room window, which makes his smile deepen in humour.

"Ni," he breathes, glancing back to the kid who beams at him with that childish need for constant compliments. "That's incredible. You're like a little Van Gogh," he adds, which makes the kid frown instead.

"No I'm not. I'm Niall," he corrects, making them both break into laughter again.

And then the front door opens, and Niall is the first one out of his seat, paper set back down on the counter. He narrowly misses a stumble with the doorframe on his way out of the kitchen in a way that makes Zayn wince and hold his breath for a second.

Then he hears the kid squeal loudly. "Harry!"

He smiles, looping an arm around Liam's neck as the two of them enter the hallway, where Louis eyes the two of them with a relieved smile.

Meanwhile Harry is on the floor with his backpack beside him, Niall on top of him with his arms thrown around the tall boy, both of them giggling.

"Ni! You're covered in paint!" The thirteen year old chokes out between laughs, but Niall refuses to let him go, even as Harry is attempting to ply him off.

"I missed missed missed you, really very much!" He breathes, and Harry softens then, smiling and hugging the smallest of their family back tightly.

"I missed you too," he says quieter, and the men smile at each other, watching as Niall eventually peels himself away and stands up, Harry climbing up from the ground too and attempting to nod his head in all of the right places when Niall instantly sets off on one of his rambles.

As soon as he manages to catch a break in the stream of words running from the youngest's mouth, the thirteen year old turns to Zayn with a smile before he wraps his arms around his middle and squeezes him tightly, head rested in the nook of his neck.

"Missed you," he says softly, and Zayn feels his eyes burn a little all over again as he wraps himself around the boy gently.

"I missed you too Curly. So much," he says softly, before he looks up and holds out his arms to Liam and Louis too, Niall already in the process of burying himself between Zayn and Harry.

Liam hooks himself under one arm and Louis under the other, all of them squished up in the group embrace.

"I missed you all," he whispers, pressing a kiss to his husbands cheek before he pulls back slightly to look the man directly in the vibrant blue eyes. "And I swear I'll never let any of you down again."

AN:
so i hate this ending but here it is...

little warning that the next part gets pretty dark; it's a little different in terms of narrative but it deals with some pretty hefty drug use so if that is at all triggering for you, then please don't read it!!

tell me your thoughts in the comments :)