Phoenix

Hey new beginning

Pumped and ready for the new day to start, with a new zeal I was about to start,  just kidding lazy like every morning that's how I was, labouring to get off the bed and do anything apart from sleeping again. Something seemed alright, some weight off my chest, some thoughts out of my brain,  that is what I thought, something was coming, as usual, not a day without adventures have I spent.*sigh* So the beautiful day began with my usual dumb cheerful self doing nothing but staring at my laptop studying about all the things from the most beautiful chemical equation to the worst mathematical ones, and in between my as my impatient self always does constantly messaging and waiting for replies and believe me I would write a 20-page article if I want to talk and you are not online, like lines of messages joking about anything from my death by a truck hitting me or my cooking killing everyone including me. Then a reply came, it was confusing, very confusing I didn't know what to do, to continue or to stop, then a reply which scared my soul, it wasn't that serious I was assured, what could it be you might wonder, "my parents use my phone too", well it wasn't exactly that but it was enough, I had messaged something it wasn't anything bad, just a letter but everyone knows what happens to letters when parents read them, it was a typed one, so two scenarios popped up in my mind, overthinking everything as always, one of which was I will die, if it was literally I would be fine sorta overjoyed but sadly that wasn't the case, the other way was the scarier one we both die that would be something, our new beginning ending on the first day, it all sounds fun when I think about it now it wasn't then. By the grace of the gods I never pray to and the heavens which I don't believe exists anywhere else apart from the place called Hogwarts( the wizards had no part to play sadly) nothing happened letter was read by her, as I wanted it to and I screwed up while sending the letter too, I would not like to dwell too much into my dumbness so we move on.  Then came a reply she, liked it and read it twice what more could I ask for, what more would I need( tickets to Twenty one pilots concert and my Hogwarts letter). Then we talked in tiny bits about how we spent our day what all did we do, she annoyed her family which she loves( aah sweet old her *me Lost in day dreaming* *smiling*) and how her sick teacher marked her less, that lovely dude loves not giving marks so annoying and just annoying!(UMBRIGE AF)
Then a message came I want to talk, something is wrong I don't know what, and here my mind goes on a trip of imaging millions of scenarios and ya they were all dark and gloomy because well, I like gloom and love darkness. Then I had to go to do some daily chores to prevent my parents for regretting 1000th time in day why they had me. Then I had my counselling wish I knew why I took them, they ask questions you have in mind for yourself and don't like to answer you leave somethings on question mark some ending with a comma signifying more to come but it never does, but when they ask you in ways only they know, you find it all of course not always and not properly but something fine is better than nothing fine at all. Then I proceeded to message back, asking what was she wanted to talk about, and then came those nuclear bombs "I don't feel the same", now my mind raced at speed of light to with only few surviving thoughts and these thoughts were of pure confusion and utmost quality of insecurity, and believe me it was not half as funny as it is now to me, hands shaking, sweating, tears in my eyes, about to break down, scared, what is she going to say? she doesn't feel the same, is she going to leave me, I tried to calm myself down hoping for the best, because that is what I am good at(sarcastic remark). I waited and replied as calmly as I could refraining for as long as I could, ( 10 seconds). Then she went on telling how the words in her diary entry didn't make her feel the same, and how my shirt didn't give her the urge to hug it, how words she wrote and feeling of our hugs seemed alien to her and I replied we went to "high we fell too hard", it is going to take time to put ourselves together, because we had been pulled apart, ( nope my words weren't calm they were filled with anxiousness). I kept asking the questions the one which scared my soul, "will you leave me and never make me whole?" Her answer was simple "are you sure you will not?",  "never" said I because nothing is more close to my heart, and I told her my letter told you why I never would, hope you understood, if you didn't then read them again because the words came from my heart and will always be the same. Then some question came with hints of change, they made me nostalgic reminding me of the time when I gave her the first letter, these were the questions almost like the ones which she asked then, she asked again and like the first time I answered  the same, funny questions they were with funny answers too but they were from our hearts. I proposed her properly, not that I never did it but never was it this significant "will you be my partner in crime, in smiles, in dumbness, love and life". She said "Yes" I was happier than I had been in a very long while,  We finally stayed like we like always we have. All of our joys they slowly came back she asked me to wait, as it may take a while to get the feels of those words in her letters back, I was ready as long as a bond with her, the bond which I cherish I had. A voice message came later that evening like I asked, they bought tears of pain, as I hadn't heard her in days and tears of joy because I finally heard her beautiful and cute voice, giving a message telling me she liked me and wants me to stay, she said she was crazy and a little dumb, I replied with a smile which surprised me because that kind hadn't come in a long while, pure happiness it had. I will stay. I am crazy too, we could be dumb together like we always are. The day ended with a sweet smile and a sleepy good bye.