BUTTERFLY WINGS | Wattys 2020

CHURCH

'Barackville United Methodist' said the blue and white sign as we pulled up outside the Barackville Church of Christ. It was a well maintained brown building with sloping roofs and a brick set style and white towers.

Pike street was almost empty unlike on Sundays. We managed a parking spot and my mother guided me in.

I was still unsteady on my feet.

The halls were covered with spotless cream wallpaper and it had a decent number of polished wooden pews, all empty now.
I slid into one of the front rows, directly in line with the statue of Jesus. There weren't any angels or other accessories one would find during Christmas but the atmosphere seemed serene.

Sitting there I was reminded of the last time I had visited a small church and it was so crowded that I had to sit on the lap of daddy. I still remember him rocking me on one leg as I played with a doll, quite oblivious to the sermons and all the preaching.

I needed to get a grasp on my life. I sighed and relaxed myself, closing my eyes. For the first time, my mother has made me wear a white cotton frock with ruffled collars and puffed sleeves, which kind of made my bandaged legs and hands more exposed.

But as I sat there, everything was forgotten as I locked eyes with the statue. The marble eyes seemed to be trying to communicate with me. There was no sound except for our breathing and the silence, for once, was refreshing.

My life was being counted by the breaths and so was Daniel's. His thoughts made me look up at the statue again. It was as if I was pleading for help. Daniel was the angel in my life. The one person I couldn't lose.

I, who had promised never to be in a relationship again, had gotten attached to another and now it had happened and there was no going back. Daniel was with me, now for the little life I had.

The phone rang just then, shattering my reverie. My mother got up from her place and hurried out to answer the call. She came back moments later, a smile on her face. The smile became a frown as she observed me critically.

"Daniel has opened his eyes and he's actually demanding you..."

"What are we waiting for?" I jumped up.

Had my prayers worked?

"Are you sure you in this immune-compromised state actually want to go to a dump of infections? You could catch diseases so easily..." she argued.

"I'm going and I'll climb out of my room's window and into his hospital room, if I have to, to get to him. You can't stop me," I walked past her, my heart thumping fast. There was nothing in the world more important than meeting him at the moment. I has to know if he was all right.

"I'm dropping you off and going to your doctor them," she finally acceded, "But I'll pick you up on my way and no way are you making a demand to stay with him throughout the day."

"I'll stay if he wants me to. No one, not even his mother can stop me now," I tossed my head defiantly.

My mother just shook her head in defeat and reached into her pocket for the car keys.

The drive back was nerve jarring as I fidgeted and shifted in my seat. Every moment away from Daniel seemed like a million years. I was afraid I'd lose him. My brain whirled in a thousand erratic directions as my thoughts struggled to break free from the cage of my mind.

I rested my head on the glass window of the car and looked out at the sun in the sky, the rays of which scattered in a prismatic effect as it passed through the glass. The sun was always the constant as life sped on, unmindful of the certainty of its existence.