Bad Decisions - Alex Turner

14. Seeking Safety In Other People

"But I don't know that Christian," I wept, "please, please can you come here? I don't feel safe. Please. Please Christian."

He sighed, "baby...I'm so sorry, I can't leave at the moment. I promise you no one followed you home and that you're okay. I promise."

"Christian," I sobbed, heaving for air. Nothing he was saying was lessening the overwhelming sense of panic flooding my body. My entire face was covered in tears, running down my cheeks and down my neck. "Christian please. I know you're out but I need you right now. I need you."

"Orion I'm sorry," Christian sighed, sounding genuinely apologetic, "just take a few deep breaths, drink some water, you're okay, no one's gonna hurt you."

"Please Christian," I begged, "can you please come? I don't feel safe and I really really really need you right now."

"I'm sorry babe," he sighed, "I can't. Trust me. You're okay. You don't need me there you've just spooked yourself but you're okay. I need to go but call me in the morning okay?"

"Chris please," I cried only to hear the haunting beep of the end of a call. I think that moment was equal to the heartbreak of being broken up with no felt so stupid. So pointless so useless. And so terrified in my own home of something that he'd made sound so idiotic. Yet no matter what he said, I couldn't stay in that house alone and before I even knew it I was calling the one other person that could make me feel safe.

"Hey love how are ya?" his voice came in like the most comforting melody.

"Alex?" I said, not even able to hide my frantic demeanour. I could hear noises and voices in the background. I guessed he was out.

"Orion are you okay?" He said, his voice immediately alert and concerned instead of laid back as it was before.

"No," I shook my head and began crying again, "no I'm not. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry for disturbing you."

"No no no, don't be sorry. What happened are you okay where are you?" Alex said quickly.

"I'm home, I'm home but I don't feel safe," I said, trying to steady my breathing.

"Why? Why don't ya feel safe?" Alex asked.

"On my way home these guys—" I couldn't even finish because I just started bawling my eyes out.

"Orion? Orion are you okay?"

"No," I managed, "can you come here? I'm so sorry you don't have to but I just...I can't be here alone. I don't feel safe. I'm terrified."

"Of course. Fuck, of course, I'm coming now," Alex said and I heard him move as the sound began to crackle and I could hear wind rushing past. "Stay on the phone with me okay? You're gonna be all reyt I'm on my way."

"Okay," I nodded, feeling momentary relief before panic flushed back in at the reminder that there could be those guys pacing in front of my house. "Thank you so much. Please, please be safe."

"I'm gonna be just fine, just stay on the line with me okay?" Alex said, I could hear the panic in his voice and began to feel guilty for disturbing him. He kept trying to keep me calm as I inhaled deep breath after deep breath. It felt like it took him years to get to my house and that entire time I felt like there were people standing around my house and on the other side of my bedroom door; waiting for me to move so they could do whatever the hell they planned to do.

"Okay I'm coming to the door," Alex said after a thousand lifetimes. "I'm gonna knock three times okay?"

"Okay I'm coming," I said and quickly wiped my nose and cheeks and dashed out of my room and to the front door, pulling it open as fast as I could. I can't tell you the relief that flooded through me when I saw Alex on the other side. There was worry laced all in his expression but just seeing his face washed out all my fears.