Amy

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How had I been so stupid to think that I could be unproblematic? No matter what happens to me, relationship drama always seems to follow. I'm sick of it, I'm done.

...

I jolted upright in my bed. I shocked myself as I realised that I was right. It doesn't matter what happens to me, relationship drama always seems to follow. I tried so hard to be drama-free this year but clearly it didn't work. As much as I tried to avoid thinking about it, I just couldn't. I thought about whilst I was getting ready; I thought about it on the bus to the studio; I thought about it whilst I sat in The Next Steep with my chai tea- which I eventually threw away because it reminded me too much of Finn, and all of the fun times the two of us had together. Before I broke up with him.

You may ask 'Amy, why did you break up with him?' and well... I saw what he did. I saw him kiss her. I knew that either way my heart was going to shatter so I decided to dump him before he could dump me.

My boredom was eventually cured when Piper rushed up to me.

"Amy, I'm sorry for being such an awful friend but I have some news that could change everything."

"Piper, Finn told me about the kiss," I blurted. Obviously, I hated lying to Piper but I have to do what's best for her mental health- even if she helped Finn break my heart.

"Really?" She didn't sound as relieved as I thought she would. Maybe she does care about me.

"Look, Piper, I'm glad you and Finn came straight to me but I'm fine. Finn and I are over so you and Finn can be together." Again with the lies. Of course I'm not fine. I thought that I found someone that I can trust. I thought that I found someone who loved me.

"Oh Amy, I never meant for this to happen!"

"I know. In fact, I broke it off with him yesterday evening. I guess I knew we weren't really meant to be."

"Awww, Amy!" she exclaimed, and then she hugged me. I didn't expect her to be so pitiful. I thought she'd be bitter that I stole Finn from her. "How about we go to a nail salon tomorrow to relax a little?" I couldn't believe that she was so willing to make things up with me. Actually, of course I could- she's Piper for goodness sake!

"Um... sure, how about 3pm?"

"Sounds good. Once again, Amy, I am so sorry. You have every right to be mad at me."

"It's really fine, but can we go to the studio? I need to focus on dance right now." That part was no lie. No matter what obstacle I face in my personal life, dance has always pulled me together.

Something has definitely been going on with Emily, but I can't put my finger on it. It's not like I have time to anyway. The only thing that matters is that she is being harder on us. Dancemania is a big deal, and I need to make my family proud. More specifically my mother. Ever since Acronation lost at regionals, she has been unnecessarily cruel to me. It makes it worse that I'm an only child because she can invest all of her time into making my life miserable. No one really knows about it- and I plan to keep it that way.

After rehearsal ended, I could see Finn drag Piper away. I needed to dance. Not for my mother, not for Emily or Nick, but for me. Once everyone left, I set up the speaker and scrolled through my playlist. I hovered over Someone You Loved by Lewis Capaldi. It really reflected my situation so I pressed on it and began to improv. 

I finished my solo breathless only to see Emily standing right there. She applauded me so obviously I thanked her. And then she said something mind-blowing.

"You would have been the perfect fit for Miss National Soloist. In fact, Nick and I are trying to see if it is possible for B-troupe to go to Nationals instead. Would you like to maybe be the featured dancer?" I couldn't help but smile at the word featured. It has always been my dream to be featured at Nationals. But I don't know if I could abandon A-troupe like that. Reading my mind, Emily said that she would give me some time to think about it. I had no idea what to do.

...

When I arrived home, my mother went on a tangent about me being eight minutes late home. In all honesty, I was so deep into my thoughts that I didn't even notice that I had missed the bus stop. But my mother couldn't know that. She would freak out. "Sorry Mom, rehearsals for Dancemania were running late. Speaking of which, could I actually talk to you for a second?"

"Sure, but this better not be about one of your stupid girl problems. I don't have time for that."

"Ok, well, I have to choose between going to Dancemania with A-troupe or being the featured dancer at Nationals on a different troupe." I hesitated towards the last part of the sentence.

"Amy, honey, I can't tell you what to do, but try listening to your heart, and not your head for once."

"Thanks Mom," I said with a smile as I walked upstairs to my bedroom. I pondered over the decision. My head said Nationals, but my heart screamed to stay with the team. I guess that makes sense. After all, 'home is where the heart is' and A-troupe will forever be my home.

I didn't even realise the time. It was 11:30pm and I did not want to be a zombie tomorrow so I got ready for bed and wrote in the journal that Piper gave me for my 16th birthday. I hadn't used it for a while but today, I felt as if I had to. Then I gently closed my eyes and wondered into a lucid dream.  

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