Sukeban (Discontinued)

Chapter 51: Broken Pieces

With those last words, Madoka turned to leave, walking away from Haruna. The brunette was only sure Madoka and Ken’ichi were gone when she heard the door close and, she assumed, lock as well. Sure, she could simply unlock the door from her side of it but what would be the use? Even if she tried to leave, Madoka would surely be a step ahead and have a way to stop her. Haruna couldn’t win; she was beginning to realize how useless it was of her to even try.

In the new silence, Haruna shook her head, finally beginning to move her body. She gripped onto the washcloths in her hand hard, digging her nails into the material just as she pushed herself off the bed. She ignored the pain swimming in her body as she slowly walked over to where she knew she had spilled some droplets of blood onto the much lighter carpeting.

Haruna was careful as she slowly lowered herself down onto her knees, trying to do her best not to cause herself too much pain from the bruises that still littered her body. As Haruna let one of the washcloths carelessly fall to the floor and cover up the few droplets of blood, her mind began to wander back. Her mind was still cloudy with her out of control thoughts but she could see clearer now – although she didn’t know if that was a good or bad thing yet.

She could still feel the disgust with herself when she thought back on how quickly and heavily she had lost control of her emotions. She was better than that; she had more control than that… And yet she still let Madoka get so under her skin. She still let Madoka convince her of things. As much as Haruna hated herself for allowing it, she couldn’t deny that Madoka had made her think. She had made her doubt things she hadn’t doubted before, or that she even ever wanted to doubt.

All these years, Haruna had tried to keep such a tight lock and key on her emotions. She had tried to keep them tucked away deep inside of herself so that no one would see her true emotions. She tried her best to make herself a hard and stoic person – someone who rarely showed any emotion. Emotion was weakness. Emotions controlled people’s actions and made them do things they would rather not. Haruna didn’t want to be that person. At least… She didn’t want to be that person ever again. She remembered the time her emotions had truly gotten the best of her and she didn’t intend to relive such a weak moment in her life.

So why…why had Haruna lost control like that? Why, after all these years of exercising control, did it seem like she had lost it so easily? Haruna found herself asking those questions in her mind but in her heart, she knew exactly why. She knew the reason but didn’t want to admit it. Admitting it meant handing over control to that woman and that was the last thing she wanted to do. But how could she deny it any longer? She had already given Madoka what she wanted, how much lower could Haruna sink?

Everything was Madoka – everything was connected to that godforsaken woman who made Haruna’s life a living hell. Madoka had spent nearly the last month repeating those words to her in different ways. Haruna was far too hell bent on not giving into Madoka that she hadn’t realized the way Madoka was slowly creeping underneath her skin and drilling these thoughts and words into her head. She should have realized it – she should have seen it – but she hadn’t.

Haruna had been too wrapped up in her own ego to realize that Madoka was slowly breaking down her mental state again. And now that Madoka had… Haruna found herself lost and questioning everything. Could it be possible that…Madoka was actually right? The teenager certainly didn’t want to actually consider even the smallest of possibilities that Madoka could be right but even so, she found herself questioning it regardless. She found herself looking back on all the subtle insults and questioning words Madoka had slipped into her mind.