Chapter 5: Secrets

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Mao’s fingers nervously fiddled with the pencil that she held in her hands, going back and forth between twirling it in-between her fingers and tapping it lightly on the wooden desk she sat at. Her mind was busy with thousands of thoughts and worries running through it. Even hearing the soft and happy chatter of her best friend sitting beside her wasn’t enough to calm her down. There was no way Mao would be able to calm down; nothing would achieve that for after this class, she was going to do the unthinkable. She was going to do what she never thought she’d be able to do in a million years. She was going to try to take a stand against Haruna’s gang in the only way she knew how to, by turning to the school’s other “gang”.

It was laughable really. She had urged Tomomi to stay as far away from Haruna’s gang as she possibly could but here she was, thinking of outing probably one of the gang’s biggest secrets. She would be getting closer to them than Tomomi had. She was being hypocritical at best. But she had to; all of this had turned personal. For the entire time she had been going to this school, she had just sat back and watched Haruna’s gang control the school. They had never personally impacted her until that day Haruna had hurt Tomomi. That’s when all of this had become personal, that’s when Mao knew she had to do something. She’d sat back in fear for too long, they all had.

It had been a total accident too; she didn’t mean to overhear all of it. She didn’t mean to hear those secrets. But if she could put this knowledge to good use - if she could help make Haruna pay for all she’d done over the years – then she wouldn’t regret hearing it. But that didn’t diminish the fear she felt in her heart. It didn’t take away the worry she felt when she thought about what would happen to her if Haruna’s gang ever found out that she was the one who told. Her mind shuddered at the thought of even [i]trying[/i] to think about it. She was sure they would try to kill her for this if they found out it was her. Haruna’s gang hadn’t killed yet, those delinquents were still above that, but Mao didn’t believe much was stopping them if provoked enough.

She didn’t even know why she was thinking of doing this. Sure, they had hurt Tomomi and Mao was still angry about it, but Tomomi was a quiet girl. It’s not like she was going to make a habit of getting in trouble and pissing off Haruna’s gang. At least, Mao could only hope the nerdy brunette wasn’t thinking of doing that. The last thing she needed was for Tomomi to decide she was going to go rogue. The two of them could easily walk away from what had happened, forgetting all about it. But Mao didn’t want to forget, she didn’t want to forgive them. Forgiving them would be excusing their actions. Not just what they did to Tomomi, but what they did to everyone. Excusing it would justify their actions and make them seem okay. And Mao couldn’t do that. Not anymore. She’d learned her lesson about ignoring it.

So she’d made her decision. Maybe it wasn’t the best or maybe it wasn’t the smartest, but it was one she had decided upon. She had made her plan to find Hana and talk to her. Hana and her friends weren’t necessarily a gang. Sure, some people called them a gang, but they didn’t do bad things. If they did, it was always to people who deserved them; it was always to help someone who deserved to be help. They weren’t like Haruna’s gang, people who hurt others just because they could. Mao had heard the rumors of Hana and her friends doing bad things, of them robbing and hurting innocent people, but Mao didn’t believe it. They couldn’t be true. Hana and her friends weren’t a gang, they were all perfect, straight A students. They never did anything wrong, they only helped people. Mao refused to believe those awful rumors people spread about them.

Too deep in her thoughts, Mao didn’t realize she’d let out a very audible sigh, alerting the brunette who sat beside her. Tomomi looked up from the book she had taken to reading as she talked, raising an eyebrow at the thoughtful look on Mao’s face.

“Whatcha thinking about?” Tomomi asked, placing a pencil into the book as a makeshift bookmarker. Tomomi heard Mao yelp softly, her body jumping to attention. Clearly, she’d been too stuck in her daydreams to notice Tomomi and the brunette had caught her off guard. The brunette couldn’t help but wonder when Mao had stopped listening to her. Mao always yelled at her for spacing out. Well, who was the one spacing out now? She’d have to make sure to pay Mao back for that later.

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