broken// h.s

twelve.

harry/

As soon as we got into the car, Shiloh broke down. I knew something terrible went wrong but I just couldn't figure out what. When I first came out and saw her, the look in her eyes was sad but I knew there was a lot more behind that. Sad, depressed, worried? I just couldn't put my finger on it. All Niall said was something about her being scarred and stuff like that.

"Shiloh...shh. It's okay." I pulled her into an awkward embraces and ran my fingers through her hair. That always had a calming effect on her for some reason.

She shook her head. "No, no it's not."

"What happened?" I asked.

"I trusted him," she murmured whilst shaking her head violently. She was in true pain.

"Trusted who Shiloh?"

"Him! He--Brandon. I trusted him. Then used me and drugged me and took advantage of me?!" She yelled, pulling her knees to her chest and sobbing hysterically. It pained me so much to see her like this. She was really broken and I didn't think I could fix her.

"He tried to rape you?" I said in a hushed tone. She nodded her head slowly and I think that was when I completely lost it. I reached for the door handle, determined to ruin Brandon as much as he ruined her. Except this time, it would be physical.

"No, no. Please. Don't leave me here alone." Her breaths were quick and fast and my eyes softened immediately. I shut the door closed and sighed.

"Sorry," she whispered against my chest as I pulled her into a hug.

"No don't be. Okay? Look at me. Shi, look at me. Don't be sorry about this. It's not your fault."

She nodded, sniffled and then wiped her nose.

"Harry, I--" she was cut off by her doubling over, releasing all of the contents that she had consumed today. I pulled her hair back away from her face to let her finish. She went on like this, started coughing and then stopped.

"I'm so sorry." Her cheeks were flushed from throwing up and embarrassment.

"No, you're good," I said, turned to her, and she was staring up at me.

"Thanks," she whispered and buried her head in her lap. "Love you." I nearly gasped and turned to face her but she was fast asleep, terribly worn out.

I drove away from the party house, trying to remember the directions to where Shiloh lived. When I pulled up,I realized the building was completely dark, no one at the front desk or anything. There was a smile light shining in the desk area and I'm sure someone was awake but I didn't want to get her in trouble by them or her mom so I decided what I needed to do.

To Mom:
sorry mom! late notice sleepover at Grace's house! I'll call you in the morning! Love ya!

I regretted sending that text as soon as I pressed the 'send' button. It was the stupidest thing I've ever written and Shiloh most likely would never actually talk like that.

I drove home, my mom was obviously still at work like always. I opened the door, Shiloh slung over my shoulder and I almost tripped over a my cat laying in the dark.

"Nimbus," I murmured, trudging upstairs, taking the steps one by one and careful that I didn't drop the poor girl in my arms. I lay her down on my bed and removed her jeans so that she wasn't uncomfortable while she slept. I realized she was wearing Brandon's shirt so I removed that also and slipped on of my tees on her. I changed and got into bed, not sure at all how I would explain this to her.

As I lay there in bed, I thought about everything Shiloh had said in the car. There was no doubt that I was going to kill Brandon. But really the whole time I was thinking, I should have been there for her.

She finally let me back into her life and I should of protected her like I always had before. Instead, it was too late. And even when someone did come to get her. It's wasn't me, it was Niall. I was upstairs fucking some random chick who I didn't even remember the name of and vice versa and Niall came and got her.

I should of been a better friend. I should of warned her, well better than I already had, that Brandon was not good for her.

Ever since the day I met her, I knew it was my job to keep her safe. Whether is was the smallest thing or something major. Whether or not it was to protect her physically or emotionally, I was supposed to protect her. And of course I couldn't do that. From now on, I'm not going to let anything happen to her because too much has happened to her and I'm sick of her living her life like this. Scared and afraid that something will happen to her.

I don't care if I have to kill her dick of a dad that ruined her life or son of a bitch Brandon who probably scarred her for life.

She doesn't deserve to be treated like this.

Anyway, I was also thinking about when she said she loved me. Did she really mean it? She just got out of a relationship so why would she?

She was a bit drunk so she must've still had a mind of her own, right? Does she like me though? Why wouldn't she tell me all this time of she did. And most importantly, do I like her back?

Shit-- no. Of course not. I don't like people. Or even love. Maybe my mom and my sister. But that's it. I've never had feelings for Shiloh. Even if I did, a long time ago, I stopped myself immediately. I know I couldn't grow to like her because we would end up broken hearted just like my parents did. Love doesn't exist. It's just lust. Infatuation. That's all it is. And when the two get tired of being together, they go and find someone else.

It's so fucking twisted, you know? The whole love thing. Like really? You fall in love, literally fall. You crash to the ground and I swear to God all your bones break. You're fucking shattered but you don't notice because you've got this beautiful person whispering in your ear and kissing your neck, telling you that they love you. Nothing else matters. But then they leave you and you suddenly feel it. You feel everything. And you're hysterically crying in your car at 4 in the morning because it's the only place that doesn't taste like them. You sit there crying, trying to hold your bones together. But nothing stops the aching.

Same thing happened to my mother. I remember the night she came home crying, me trying to comfort her, asking her what had happened. Gemma, my sister, she was there also. But being girl to girl, it was as if she knew what had happened. I remembered assuring my mom that our dad would be back. But I know I was just trying to reassure myself. That maybe my dad wasn't a bad person and that he would come back. But of course, he never did.

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I don't know guys I really like this chapter and it feels like I haven't updated in forever although I updated less than a week ago. But really guys omg seven hundred plus reads!! i love you guys so much like what..I know it doesn't seem like that much but it means a lot to me when you guys comment and read. I especially love the comments because I love seeing what you guys have to say and take some things into consideration like when I was writing my other book, perfect, there was like a larry moment or something and someone went crazy so yeah maybe there should be more brotp moments in my books but yeah idek if you guys read this but I just wanted you to know you guys mean a lot to me I didn't realize the a/n was gonna be this long but oh well xxx

Btw sorry for any typos this chapter is unedited :(: