Shawmila imagines

*Insecurities*

hey guys... surprise! i'm still alive and haven't given up on this book. honestly i've had a tough time with some mental issues and just life in general so i faced some writers block and lack of motivation to write but i promise i'm trying :)

as an apology, this is a rather long one shot but i'm warning you it's not the happiest. it's gonna be one hell of an emotional roller coaster and some tears but happiness will be there i promise! also i'm not 100% happy with it even after spending so much time writing it so in my eyes it's kinda shitty. anyways it's yours now and you get to decide whether you like it or not. happy reading!

tw: anxiety/panic attacks

♡♡♡

Misconception

"Baby?" Shawn whispered in the dim light as Camila looked up from her notebook and turned her head to look at him. "Hm?" She raised her eyebrow at his frown and asked him what was wrong. He sighed as he took her notebook from her and gently folded it shut after making sure to mark the page so it would be easy for her to find it later. He leaned over and put it on her bedside table before sliding down the bed and resting his head on her lap.

Camila started to slowly and softly rake her fingers through his brown curls, her fingers lightly pressing into his neck to ease whatever tension he was feeling. "Do you think I'm weird?" He looked up at her as he intertwined his fingers with hers. Camila frowned and squeezed his hand as she shook her head. "Why are you asking that?" Shawn sighed again. "I don't know... it's just that people always say that I'm too kind or too feminine or I walk a certain way or talk a certain way and it's weird to them.. I'm just trying to understand why."

Camila bent her head down and kissed his forehead. "I think you're sweet and unique, you're not like those celebrities who are cocky because they have money and fame, you don't look down on people and you're never rude or disrespectful. You're just you, sweet, gentle, kind and caring Shawn. My Shawn." He smiled as he pouted his lips for a kiss. She giggled as she pressed her lips to his. "But still... why do you think people have this misconception that I'm gay? Am I doing something wrong?"

"No." She whispered as tears filled her eyes. This was a sensitive topic for even her, something she was familiar with. She cleared her throat and blinked away her tears as she gently smiled at him and cupped his cheek. "I think people aren't used to seeing kind men these days, everywhere people are always saying that men are trash and they have a lot of stories to validate that. But in all of this, I think people are so set on the fact that men are supposed to be these assholes who treat their women like trash so when they see someone kind, someone like you who treats everyone in his life with respect and especially the girls.. they suddenly can't accept it. It's almost like it's unbelievable and almost absurd that a man could be like that, you know?"

Shawn thoughtfully nodded. "I think you're right. I think that the way I talk about people is different than what others expect from me. They think I'll be the same rich cocky asshole that they're used to.. and when I don't fit in their image, they try to find other flaws in me that they can point out and give it the only logical explanation that they can.. like as if that's the only thing that makes sense to them." He sat up and wrapped his arms around her as she sat in front of him, between his legs.

"Do you think it bothers Mamá and Papa... maybe even Sofi that I have these misconceptions about me? Do you think it matters to them?" He propped his chin on her shoulder and watched in silence as she intertwined their fingers and kissed the back of his hand. "No, not at all. They don't care about that. All they care about is that you're kind, caring and compassionate. Why else do you think they let you call them mamá and papa? Even Sofi wouldn't have let you call her by her nickname if she didn't consider you as family. You are family to them, to me. They love you because of all those qualities that you have and of course also based on the way that you treat me. They like those things about you and I'm pretty sure I even heard papa once curse those damn rumors and the people that spread them."