That One Crazy Summer-Reader X Kylo Ren

Your Sub-conscience Wrote This Chapter

Oh, hello there.

You know who I am...I'm your Sub-conscience!

Stupid...

I meant for you to hear it.

Look, I'm not sure how to tell you what happened because you're kind of in a coma. Like, a week long coma. No, you're not dead, but that's all you know.

What? You want me to tell you anyway?

You probably won't even remember anything when you wake up, then this whole conversation will be a waste of my time...

Okay fine. But you owe me whenever you decide to get out of bed, lazy ass.

I guess I can just pick up where you crapped out.

Off topic real quick...seriously? Could you be any more cliche? Stabbed in the stomach?

Give me a break.

Okay, okay, you don't have to yell.

Basically, you did a Force thing. It was badass too. As the explosions hit you, your body did that whole force field thing again, and you were able to block you and Kylo from the impact. You were both virtually unharmed...well except for you and your whole "oh no, I got stabbed" debacle.

I'm sorry! It just seems like someone always gets stabbed with a light saber or in your case, a knife. It wasn't even cool like a light saber! Just a plain old knife!

Whoa, you don't have to start throwing things! Okay, I'll shut up about it.

Anyway, the whole shelter blew up. Stuff shot up out of the ground—the land caved in and destroyed half of the whole forest—it was pretty epic.

Once the explosions stopped, Kylo totally thought he was dead. I mean yeah, I would too, right? So, he raises up from the ground on his elbows and looks around. He's thinking this doesn't look like an afterlife. Then he looks down and sees you bleeding out and is like oh shit, she protected us, and now she's dying. Like, yeah dude, help her!

Well, he rushed you back to base and got you into a medical bay. Your Force shield or barrier, whatever you want to call it, gave out right about the time he got you there, so they were able to start emergency surgery.

While that was going on, Kylo...he like, went insane.

He was running through the base with his saber all lit and stuff, screaming for Hux and the other two alligator posers. He took out what seemed like half of the First Order—I'm talking dead bodies everywhere. He found the three idiots just as they were about to make their escape in some kind of fancy ship.

It was kind of funny because you couldn't hear anything from outside their ship. You just knew Kylo was in there tearing shit up.

Then, all of a sudden the ramp opens. A head rolls down the ramp like a bowling ball, and it's Jaygrin's. Then Grenjin's bounces out of there. Her head was extra bouncy, so that was weird, but anyway...

Finally, well...not just his head, but Hux's body parts.

It looked like Kylo took his time. First, Hux's ears, his fingers, then a forearm...you get what I'm saying. Kylo sliced the dude up while he was still alive.

I mean, you're banging the dude, so that probably doesn't surprise you. It's totally a Kylo thing to do, but it was still pretty gnarly.

The resistance took out the rest of the First Order. They captured a bunch of prisoners and everything. Jaygrin and Grinja might have been good fighters, but they sucked at military operations. All of those weapons, the AT-AT walkers...it didn't matter because they didn't know how to use them properly. The only thing they got right was rigging the shelter.

Didn't work though. You were all, psych! I'm still here, bitches.

But there was a problem, and that was the Knights of Ren. They had all turned on Kylo.

I'm not even joking. Every single one!

Apparently they had all been told different things by that Snoke douchebag, and the mutiny had started even before Kylo killed Snoke himself!

So, Kylo asks General Organa and General Kenobi if he can go disband them, and there was a struggle because they don't trust him at all. But for whatever reason, General Kenobi agreed to go with him. So the two went off alone to take on the knights.

Dad and future son-in-law bonding time? Maybe Kylo apologizes for threatening to chop your dad's head off?

Anywho, when they arrived, the Finalizer was a wreck. The knights had not only turned on Kylo, but they had turned on each other too.

It was mayhem, man.

The couple of knights that were still alive were badly injured, so Kylo and Kenobi made quick work of them.

Well, here's the awkward part, which I know you were about to ask me, so simmer down.

The First Order was technically defeated by the Resistance, so you know what that means. General Organa can take over or whatever it is she does.

But then, you have Kylo over here who kicked ass and saved you and stuff, so it was like...what do we do with him? And of course, he wasn't going to leave you. They would have to kill him.

I know, super sweet right? All the heart eyes.

So, when you didn't wake up right away (because you need your precious beauty sleep, apparently) the generals offered Kylo a room on the condition that he surrender to the resistance.

And wouldn't you know, he said yes without a blink. Anything to stay with you.

That's the bad news—when you wake up, Kylo will be arrested. So maybe stay and hang out for a while? Give the guy a break? This is your fault anyway.

I said to stop throwing things! Fine. It's not TOTALLY your fault.

Yes, it's tricky right now, I know. But the dude is in love with you and is sacrificing everything just to be able to watch you lay in a bed in a coma. Personally, I don't think that's a fair trade, but I'm not him.

Yeah yeah, well that's all the information. It's been a little over a week since you went all sleeping beauty on them, so things are really starting to lag out here.

But I know. Catch twenty-two knowing Kylo gets thrown in the slammer as soon as you're conscious.

Sigh.

Oh...you want to wake up? But I just said...

Yeah...no seriously, they're gonna put him on trial and everything...yeah. But what if they execute him...you won't let that happen?

How...you don't know...ugh.

Well, best of luck to you with your whole "I don't have a plan" plan.

I'll go ahead and jump back into your mind now and wake it up. We should never do this again sometime!

Eye roll.

You feel the bright lights hitting your eye lids as you start to stir. You don't know where you are, but you feel a strong, warm hand on your shoulder.

You hope against hope that it's who you think it is.