That One Crazy Summer-Reader X Kylo Ren

The Salesman Quit That Day

You admit that the trip to the town mall could have gone better.

You knew Kylo couldn't travel to Atlanta wearing...well, what he was wearing. The only part of clothing he was willing do without was his cape when you asked him to come with you to get "Earth clothes." He glared out the window the entire car ride, and you shook your head in frustration as he tried to pretend he wasn't interested in your "transport," as he called it.

"Your people need to know I am their leader," he complained. "They should fear me and my power."

You rolled your eyes.

"Listen, until you officially take over Earth and can change the dress code, you have to wear what I tell you. Trust me—you don't want to draw attention to yourself out here."

He had "hmmphed" at your words, but you caught him smirking. It was then you realized he was excited about his new clothes.

The town mall isn't the most impressive place, but at least it has a Big n'Tall store. That's the only place you could think of to find anything in Kylo's size.

You walked into the store, and a young man in a suit greeted you. He started to speak when he saw Kylo come around the corner. His mouth hung open as he looked up at Kylo's broad frame. You quickly took action.

"He plays basketball," you lied. He looked at you like you were insane then looked back at Kylo.

You continued. "We need a whole outfit—not too fancy but not too casual. He doesn't know his size so you'll need to measure him"

The poor man's face went pale as you said "measure him." You could tell all he wanted to do was bolt, but you and Kylo blocked the only way out of the store.

You noticed a couple of elderly women walking past the store entrance. They stopped when they saw Kylo, and you heard them murmur "Oh, my," and "look at him." You watched as they pointed at the dark mountain in front of them. Kylo turned his head to see what you were looking at and met their eyes. He was scowling in that intimidating way of his.

Their jaws dropped, and they grabbed onto their walkers. You heard them mention "those darn gang members" and "hoodlums" as they shuffled away as fast as possible.

You glanced at Kylo as you tried to stay calm. He was looking at you in anger  and distress.

You had an idea of how to make the salesman cooperate. "He needs everything from belts to socks, so we intend to make your commission worthwhile."

The color crept back into the man's cheeks at the mention of commission, and he bravely stepped towards Kylo and showed him to the fitting rooms. It took every ounce of control you had to stay silent as you watched the ridiculous pair.

Ten minutes or so had passed, and the image of the two old women popped back into your head. You couldn't stop the shriek of laughter from escaping your lips as you clasped down on your mouth.

The next thing you knew, Kylo was storming out of the fitting room towards you, measuring tape dragging behind him. You glanced around his approaching frame and saw the salesman, red and sweating, a look of pure horror on his face.

You gawked as Kylo walked up to you and grabbed your face in his hands. He kissed you forcefully while he held you in place. You heard the salesman gasp then breathe out a sigh of relief as he realized Kylo wasn't trying to kill you. Your body turned into liquid as Kylo pushed against you. With a loud smacking sound that he made on purpose, he pulled away from your lips and glared at you.

"Your thoughts and your mouth are distracting. Be quiet," he growled, his voice deep and his chin jutting out in faux anger. He spun on his heels and marched back to the fitting room, almost knocking over the salesman who was scrambling to remove the measuring tape from Kylo's pant leg.