What He Never Said ✔️

chapter thirty-one • the camel thing

"I never would have made it if I could not have laughed. It lifted me momentarily out of this horrible situation, just enough to make it livable."
- Viktor Frankl

Once our weed has been grinded and packed into a Game cigar wrapper, Griffin and I take it outside. I'm weary about smoking pot out in the open, but he claims it will be more suspicious if we do it inside. Based on the sizable amount of cannabis he has in his kitchen drawer, it's safe to assume that he knows more about this than I do.

We sit on the sidewalk outside of his building and light up. The pungent, skunk-like odor assaults my nostrils, but after the first drag, it doesn't bother me. In fact, I feel calmer already.

Sitting and smoking with Griffin reminds me of all the times Winter and I got high together, and I'm hit with a wave of nostalgia. Fuck, I miss her. When I dropped out, I promised her I'd keep in touch, yet I've only called her three or four times. I haven't visited once.

I make a mental note to take a trip to campus soon. It's been way too long since I've seen my best friend.

"Have you ever thought about how weird camels are?" Griffin asks after a couple puffs.

"I can't say I have," I reply as he passes me the blunt. This stuff is good—strong, but good. "Do you think about camels a lot?"

"They terrify me, man," he goes on. "Like, okay, if you didn't know camels were a thing, and you saw a picture of one, would you think it was a real animal? No, you'd think it was made up in someone's deranged mind."

"Wait, so you're, like, actually afraid of camels?"

"Completely."

I bury my face between my knees and laugh way too hard and way too loud. Camels? Of all the petrifying things in this world, he's afraid of camels?

"Shut up, dude," Griffin says, smacking my leg. He takes another drag, his dark eyes glued to the trail of smoke in front of him. "So, uh, sorry for what I said before. The whole thing about you watching Raelyn... well, you know. It was uncalled for."

I recall the thousands of nights I've laid awake in bed, unable to sleep but also unable to move because my guilt about that night weighed me down. For seven years, I hated myself. There were days when I didn't want to be alive. When I first learned that Raelyn was dead, I wished that it were me instead of her.

I've never thought about suicide. Personally, I don't think I could go through with it. I understand it, though. If the past few years have taught me anything, it's that our hearts can only handle so much emotional torment before they break.

And once they break—like, really break—there is no putting the pieces back together.

"Don't stress about it, man," I finally say, eager for a change of subject. "Anyway, let's talk about you and Gemma. You seem to really like her, huh?"

As soon as he hears my sister's name, he starts grinning like an idiot. "Yeah, she's pretty great."

"I'm glad you think so. Just remember to take care of my big sister, okay?" I smile as I remember Shamus's warning the night I came to pick up Zayna for our first date. "If Gemma tells me that you were anything less than a gentleman, I will chop off your dick. Do I make myself clear?"

"You got it, buddy," he responds, passing the blunt back to me. "Trust me, Bowie, the last thing I want to do is hurt her."

"Good, because that's the last thing I want you to do, too."

"Oh, look! Speak of the devil...." Griffin gestures to the silver Nissan that is pulling into the parking lot.

"Prepare for a lecture," I joke, taking a long puff before handing it off to Griffin. I want the drugs to be in his possession when Gemma gets all preachy with us, not mine.

"I can handle that. Just don't tell her about the camel thing, okay?" He shoots me a nervous glance, and I nearly die of laughter once again.

"Are you two really getting high right now?" Gemma asks as she saunters toward us.

Called it.

Griffin shrugs his brawny shoulders. "I think we deserve to wind down after this evening's excitement."

In a move that surprises us both, Gemma claims the spot beside Griffin, rips the blunt from his hands, and takes a prolonged drag.

"Gemma Beaufort, I am shocked!" he exclaims.

"Oh, hush," she brushes him off.

I clear my throat. "I still want to talk to Mom and Dad," I announce, breaking up their oddly intimate moment. "They deserve the truth, you know?"

"I think we should, too," she replies. "Tomorrow, okay? Together, you and I will go over there tomorrow."

I nod my head in agreement. "Sounds like a plan. Is it weird that I'm relieved and petrified at the same time?"

"Not weird at all, because I'm feeling the exact same way," she tells me.

I'm glad she gets it. After all this time, it's nice to have an ally.

A/N: The past few chapters were pretty heavy, so I honestly needed to write something a little more light-hearted. Sorry that it's on the shorter side. 😅

Okay, important question before I go: How do you guys feel about camels??? Do you think they're creepy? Or do you think they're cute? I need to know 😂

As always, don't forget to tap that star before you leave⭐️⭐️