What He Never Said ✔️

chapter two • the visit

"Please don't go before I get better."
- Madisen Kuhn

Above: Raelyn with her long, scarlet hair, closed-lip smile, and captivating emerald gaze. ❤️

I knock on the door of the South Side studio apartment. It's three o'clock in the afternoon, and I have no idea if Raelyn is even home. I should have called first.

Honestly, I should have just stayed at school.

Just as my nerves finish tying my stomach into a noose, the door opens. Raelyn greets me with a coy smile. She's wearing nothing but a black bra, matching panties, and a silky, knee-length robe.

"Bowie!" she shrieks, covering herself up. "What... what are you doing here?"

"Expecting company?" I attempt to lighten the mood. Based on Raelyn's scowl, it doesn't work.

"Something like that," she finally answers. "Sorry, you caught me by surprise."

"Look, if you have plans, I can come back another—"

"No, don't be silly! Come on in."

I enter the tiny apartment. There is barely any furniture, which I guess doesn't surprise me. There's nowhere besides her bed for us to sit, so she guides me to the mattress and plops down.

"How are you, Bowie?" she asks, showing off her closed-lip grin. It's rare to see her smile with her mouth open. "You look good."

She looks good. Her long, red curls cascade down her back in gentle waves. Her lips are red and glossy. Her emerald eyes are lined with makeup, but not too much makeup. She's beautiful without it. She always has been.

Maybe that's why Benson felt compelled to do what he did. I'm not justifying it, and I will never understand it, but I can see why he was so attracted to her.

"I'm okay," I reply. I sit down beside her, keeping about two feet of space between us. I don't want to get too close. "What's new with you, Rae?"

She bites her lip, moving her slender shoulders up and down. "Not much, really."

"Where's Evangeline? She still at school?"

"No, she's with a sitter right now."

"Oh, okay." I don't know what to say to her. It's been so long since we've talked.

"Not to sound rude, but is there a reason you came by?" she inquires. She doesn't sound rude, just perplexed. I've never visited her on my own before, after all. "I mean, not that I mind. It's always good to see you."

"I... I had something I needed to ask you about," I say. It's probably best to tear off the band-aid. "But it's good to see you, too, Rae."

"How's Gemma? I haven't talked to her in, like, a month," she tells me. There's a sad, far-removed look in her green eyes. It's no secret that my sister isn't always the most attentive friend. "Is everything okay with her at the Tribune?"

Gemma is a journalist at the Emerald Tribune, one of Chicago's most prevalent newspapers. She's married to her work and seldom has time for anything or anyone else. It's aggravating to watch. I can't imagine putting a paycheck before the people I love.

"She's good. She's been busy. You know how she is." I hope my vague response assures her that Gemma's absence is nothing personal.

"Good, I'm glad." Her smile almost seems genuine. "So... what's your question?"

I take a deep breath, filling my lungs with as much oxygen as they can hold. This won't be an easy conversation, but it has to happen. I have to know if what I witnessed seven years ago was something sinister or a mere misunderstanding.

I have to know if my brother really is a rapist.

"Several years ago," I begin, "when you were a junior in high school, I kind of overheard something. Not in, like, an eavesdropping way. I was in the room when it happened. My room, specifically...."

She seems to catch my drift. She nods her head up and down, a frown tugging at her crimson lips.

"I can't get it out of my head," I confess. "I get that I was a kid when it happened, but I have to know...." I take another ample breath before asking, "That night, did Benson—?"

"Okay, I'm gonna stop you right there," she cuts me off. "You shouldn't be here, Bowie."

"Raelyn, I'm sorry. I—"

"I have company coming. I don't have time to chat."

The somber look in her eyes snaps my heart in half like a twig. I've dug up something that she tried really hard to keep buried.

I'm such a fucking asshole.

"I'm really sorry," I say again. "I didn't... I didn't come here to hurt you."

She shakes her head. "I'm fine, Bowie. I'll see you around, okay?"

I take the hint and leave.

<>*<>*<>*<>*<>

I finish packing up my things for Christmas break. I don't need to bring much. My childhood bedroom at home still has all the essentials. Mom refuses to touch it, even though I gave her permission to rearrange whatever she wanted.

I'm relieved that finals are over. I'm almost certain that I tanked most of them. I couldn't focus on school, not with Raelyn lingering in the back of my mind.

It's been thirteen days since our conversation. I haven't been able to stop thinking about it, about her. I feel like a dick. I shouldn't have stirred her shit for the sake of my own sanity. Now we both are hurting, and it's all my god damn fault.

Winter appears beside me. She folds a long-sleeved black t-shirt and hands it to me. I stuff it into my suitcase, messing up her neat folding job. I'm going to literally dump my clothes out onto my bed when I get home in a few hours. It doesn't matter how they're packed up.

"It'll wrinkle," she points out, as if listening to the voice inside my head. She knows me better than anyone.

"I don't care," I reply.

"Stop thinking about Raelyn."

"I can't."

"Hey, look at me." She touches my cheek and forces me to meet her gaze. "You're not a bad person, Bowie Terrence Beaufort."

I cringe. "What's up with the middle name, Winter Margaret Williams?"

"Okay, you win." She takes a seat on my bed and begins shoving unfolded shirts into my suitcase. "You've been miserable for two weeks. It's the holiday season. At least try to have fun."

"I'll be okay," I assure her. "Are you excited to spend Christmas with Avery's family?"

"Excited, nervous, and a little sad. I'm gonna miss my parents this year," she admits.

Unlike myself and Winter, Avery doesn't live in the city. She's from Michigan, which is a four hour drive away. Winter had to choose between spending Christmas break with her own family or with Avery's. Obviously, she picked the latter.

"Your parents will understand," I say.

"I know," she agrees. "Doesn't mean they're not upset."

Before I can respond, my phone vibrates inside my pocket. Speaking of parents....

"Hey, Mom," I answer. "Everything okay? I thought you weren't picking me up for another two hours."

"Actually, I'm here now," she informs me. "Something happened, Bowie. We have to get to the hospital."