Mine not Mine

Fifteen

With all the pain I have had, do I not deserve to have even a little love?
~~~

I can't take my eyes off my reflection on the mirror. It perfectly fits on me. This tropical print two-piece bikini reveals too much of my skin. Even if I have already put my wavy medium-length hair down, it could still not hide it. Should I change again? It's already the third and last bikini inside the luggage and the best one for me I think.

I forced a smile on my face trying to look cute and at the same time better but I find my reflection looks so stupid instead.

"Sierra!" I heard a voice calling out. I know it's Hanna. I know she's the only one who could help me now. I'll tell her I am feeling a bit unwell - you know delayed airsickness if there's  such thing.

I hurried to open the door but damn— it wasn't just her who is out there, Jett and Rev too. i forced a smile on my face like the one I rehearsed at the mirror earlier. I just hope I don't look stupid right now. There's a silence for a moment. Hanna's jaw dropped and their eyes lingering on me makes me feel so uncomfortable.

"Finally, you're done." said Jett breaking the silence "I was knocking on the door so long, thankfully Hanna and Rev helped me call you out." he added with his normal voice tone.

"Everyone's out already, you're just the only one we're waiting." added Hanna.

"Oh sorry" I said.

"Let's go now then. We need to catch the sunset." said Rev with a sound of excitement in his voice. 

"Sure! Just a moment I'll just put on my sh—"

"that already looks good on you" Hanna said grabbing my hand as she forcefully dragged me out before I can escape back to the room to change. But now, I cannot back off already and so my unwilling feet gave up and followed them.

"Help me here Jett. Hold her arm" Hanna said as she let her tired hand gripping tightly around my wrist loosen up while Jett takes hold of it next.

"Seriously guys?" I sighed.

"just let me go. We are already here. I cannot turn back anyway" I explained but they didn't listen. They're overthinking too much. Now, I am like a kid tied firmly to my parents.

"just maki—"

"Finally!" Levi exclaimed the moment we just got ourselves in the yacht.

Allia and Aksel welcomed me with their public display of affection right before my very eyes. I can clearly see Allia now sitting so close to Aksel and even Aksel's arm is lying comfortably on her shoulder. Aksel's eyes shift to me when he heard my coming but he quickly looked back to Allia.

What am I expecting? That he will compliment me? Quit it Sierra! He said it to you already, he would rather see you wearing your shirt.

I now know that wearing bikini doesn't look as good as what he can see from Allia. Allia's body is perfect— what all the ladies are wishing and men are desiring. I hate that my eyes are still fixed on them even if I already know that I should look away unaffected.

"Sierra, I didn't know your body actually looks sexy" teased Calix. Can I slap him now!? Please, I've been wanting to do it for so long. Layla who is beside him even felt bit upset hearing it but he quickly console her when she hit him on his arm a little, enough to make him get back to his senses. If I were his bride, I would call the wedding off right now.