Writing Tips & Wattpad Tricks

Tip #9: Practicing Description

Wizard Description: Dark tomes, reams of notes, and strange artifacts cover the desk.

All three of these descriptions focus on the same thing but give you startlingly different ideas about it. The key is word choice.

Exercise 3: Emotion

Something else to make your writing feel less technical is using the character's emotions to fuel the description. A happy character will describe something differently than a bitter one, an angry one, or a depressed one. Use your descriptions to hint at your character's mood and thoughts. This can also help your descriptions have more than one meaning as well. Use descriptions to suggest inner conflict or character backstory. Something I like to do is close my eyes and imagine that I am the character, there in the scene. It makes it easier to paint the picture through their unique viewpoint.

Exercise 4: Rewrites

Sometimes, as we edit, we get too caught up in the details of what's already there. If a description feels flat, take it out and paste it somewhere else or just hit enter a bunch of times to leave you space to write something fresh. You can refer to it as necessary, but don't get stuck in the idea that you have to just make it better. You're making something new while using the old as inspiration. 

Now, think about what you're really trying to get across. Descriptions are more than just scenery; they can convey tone, emotional states, metaphors, and more. Once you get a particular direction in mind, start your rewriting process.

An example while the character is looking at some orchids: 

Description A: "The orchids are purple. The leaves are wide and floppy, and the roots twist around each other at the bottom, in the mug-vase-thing the plant is in."

I decide that I want to make it sound like the orchids are a very striking image that's completely absorbing the character's attention.

So, from here, I take the individual parts (like the leaves) and play with different ideas of how to describe just the leaves. Perhaps instead of "floppy," they "lounge against the vase" or even "drape over the edge of the vase." It conveys the same visual idea, but while the first sounds casual or even comical, the last sounds more relaxed, perhaps elegant. I decide that I'm okay here with sacrificing a little bit of accuracy for flow, so after a few more revisions, we get this:

Description B: "The orchid blossoms are vibrant purple, the leaves a striking green. The blossoms sit at the tops of the woody stems as if smiling at me superciliously. The wide leaves drape over the edge of the vase, and the roots twist over each other within it. I long to gently run my fingers over the plant, but the spurs on the stems warn me away."

So, I like the idea of the above paragraph, but it still doesn't sound like the character is captivated by the plant. There's not quite enough detail, and the "I" sentence at the end distracts from the image. I decide to add more personification of the orchid in order to achieve my goal, along with rearranging the details to flow more smoothly. Cutting down on clunkiness will improve the idea that the orchids are very striking.

Description C: "On the table sits an orchid plant. The blossoms perch at the tops of the regal, woodlike stems and smile at me, a tip-of-the-lips that whispers, 'I know a secret, my dear.' The elegant leaves drape over the edge of the clear vase, and the woody roots tumble and twist over one another. Vibrant purple and green, the orchid stands, daring me to come closer, to caress it, yet I know better. It's as if the plant smiles and tries to hide them, but its thorns peer at me greedily."

It helps if there's a specific emotion you can try to make your audience feel. I cut any descriptor I didn't feel was necessary to create the idea I wanted. For instance, after "twist over one another," at first I added the word "within," referring to it being inside the vase. Presumably it was, though, and it didn't add to the flow, so I cut it. "One another" was "each other," but I decided I didn't like the harshness of the "ch," so I swapped it. In the basic description, the plant sits in a mug-vase, whereas this one has a more elegant clear vase. In my opinion, every single word has an effect on how a description reads. I make it my goal to use every word to its best effect, because every description, thought, and piece of dialogue can effect the tone and/or message of the piece.

Note that I've used some over-the-top descriptions, which can be okay in some contexts, but beware of venturing into purple prose. Presumably if I was writing that in an actual story, there would be some foreshadowing or symbolic significance to it. Don't describe for the sake of description. Your descriptions, especially ones that are long or dramatic, ought to serve more than one purpose. Otherwise, it's just fluff. Also, if you have too many unnecessary descriptions, your readers will start skimming, looking for the 'important' bits. So, don't drone on and don't bury your important points. Rather, use your descriptions to make your points.

Exercise 5: Study

Good writers learn by writing and by reading. So, when you read stories, see how the author uses description. Make note of it, and ask yourself questions about it:

1. How did the author describe it? Is there anything novel in the description? Compare it to other people's descriptions of similar things. How is it different/better/worse?

2. What are the most important words in the description? What would happen if they were taken out or changed?

3. What emotions does the description evoke?

4. Is there another way the author could have written it that might have been better? How would you change it?

5. Lastly, why did the author describe it that way? What other purposes might this description be serving in the story?

A great book for studying descriptions is "The Winner's Curse." Marie Rutkoski doesn't waste one word. Have other good examples? Leave them in the comments:

Conclusion

We hope these exercises help! Let us know if you end up using them and how they work for you! <3

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