Lost in the Castle

~23~

"Keep safe, Captain, we will be waiting for your return," I told Ioan, offering him my hand in greeting.

He brought it to his lips without a further word, then retreated down the courtyard and out of sight, following his men into the night.

We stood there a little longer, each lost in our own thoughts, before Junior urged me back inside.

"So, I guess you are tired. It's dark. Humans should sleep at night, right?" he asked, mirth lurking in his voice, as we climbed the large staircase.

I rolled my eyes at him and changed the subject.

"What was it you were talking about with Ioan? The thing Clara was supposed to like?" I added, as he did not seem to understand immediately.

"Oh, that," he said, smiling mysteriously, his arm brushing briefly against mine as we entered the candle-lit corridor at the top of the stairs.

"Tell me!" I demanded, my interest growing.

"You are rather curious, don't you think? Haven't I answered enough of your questions already? At least for today!" he called, teasing, coming to a stop in front of my chamber and my statue-still guardian knights. He was impossible.

"Don't call me curious! I'm just... intrigued by knowledge, that's different. If you won't tell me, I'll ask Clara tomorrow," I annouced, turning away from him, reaching for the door handle.

It was Junior's turn to roll his eyes at me, but he replied anyway, "The engagement ring, of course."

"Oh, right. I see. I'm happy for them," I said, thinking that I shall be even happier when both Ioan and Vlad will return home safely.

"Good night, Samara, and... "

"I mustn't worry, I know," I interrupted him mid-sentence.

He smiled at that, shaking his head, then vanished immediately in the direction of his chamber.

"Your jacket!" I called as I realised I was still wearing it.

"I'll take it tomorrow. Go to sleep now!" His voice reached me from the darkness.

As you like, I thought, entering my room.

Shadow jumped at me in greeting, licking my hands, making me squeal with surprise, then disappeared down the corridor, too. So much for the company.

Katerina was the only one waiting for me, and with the steaming bath ready. The old nurse, annoying and interfering as she could be sometimes, was a treasure. I loved her dearly.

"Thank you, Katerina," I said, as I removed Junior's jacket, then peeled off the horrendous yellow dress and the white undershirt, and finally stepped inside the scented water.

"I thought you might fall asleep easier once you have taken a bath," she replied, placing a couple of towels on the bench by the fireplace to warm them up, then rushing off towards my bed with the warmer.

"I hope so," I muttered, plucking the infinity of pins from my hair, releasing it finally, sighing with pleasure as I massaged my tender scalp. "I'll never let you touch my hair anymore, Katerina. I hate your hairdos," I whispered, hoping she wouldn't hear.

"It didn't work," I whispered into my pillow a long time after, still wide awake, perfectly unable to fall asleep.

As soothing as the bath had been, it hadn't helped. My errant thoughts were chasing Ioan across the snow-covered fields and forests, keeping me wondering, worrying...

Giving up on sleep, I got up, put my slippers on, seized my blanket off the bed, and then headed for the library. I paused at finding Junior there, sitting at the desk, writing something.

He looked at me across the room, eyebrows raised in a silent enquiry.

"Don't mind me," I told him as I pulled a quite comfortably looking chair closer to the fire, "I won't disturb you."

His companionable silence was exactly what I needed; it seemed that I couldn't stay alone in my room. But here, watching the fire and listening to the silent scratch of his quill and the answering whisper of the parchment, I soon found myself relaxing and drifting off to sleep.

I gasped when a pair of arms lifted me off the chair some time later, holding me tight, carrying me across the room. Strong as they seemed to be, they were not the right pair of arms, the one I had been hoping for.

"I can walk, you know?" I asked Junior, my words slurred by sleep.

"Not in your sleep, I hope," he chuckled, "or I'll have to lock you in your chamber."

He deposited me, half-asleep, on the wooden dais where my bed stood and I got in, falling asleep immediately.

When I came to again, Junior was shaking my arms, his eyes filled with concern.

"What is it, Samara? You've had a bad dream again. Tell me!"

I bit my lip, trying to hold on to the vivid dream that was already starting to fade, seeking to escape from my memory, and decide if I should tell him about it. He asked, after all...

"It's just a nightmare," I said, explaining my dream. "There is this... ruin, a tower, maybe. In a forest. It looks a bit like the old chapel by the lake, but it is not the same place..." I was surprised at how many details I could remember today, a lot more than the previous night. "I go in and... there is a stone spiral staircase leading down, underground. It's dark, I can't see anything. The place is filled with fog, black fog... no..." I pulled my covers under my chin, feeling suddenly cold. "It's smoke. There is a fire. And there is someone at the bottom I want to see, they need help, I think, but I can't go down, the stairs are slippery... That's it." I finished, shaking my head. What does it mean?

Junior lifted my chin with his fingers to make me meet his eyes.

"It's just a dream, Samara."

There was a hint of something in his voice that made me think that it might be something more than a simple dream. I tried to search his eyes for what he was really thinking, but he looked away.

"It's not quite the same as last night; it's changing. It's getting worse, more... frightening," I insisted. "I'm sure it means something."

"Do you want to get up? Shall I call Katerina to help you?"

Our conversation was obviously over. Exasperating man.

"No, thank you. I can handle myself. You can go now," I said dryly.

One corner of his mouth lifted in a half-smile. "I'll be in the library, should my lady require help with, I don't know, buttons, or laces..."

"Just... go," I repeated, mirroring his smile, reaching for a pillow to throw at him if he refused to move.

I knew that he was trying to distract me, and it would have worked if I hadn't noticed the fleeting shadow that passed behind his eyes. Something about my dream had unsettled him, too.

He raised his hands in mock surrender and disappeared, soft laugher trailing behind him.

Once he was safely gone, I got up and dragged myself towards the window. There was just enough light outside for me to see that it had started to snow again. Huge snowflakes, white and soft like fragments of angels' feathers, were descending slowly, gracefully from the pewter coloured sky, joining their previously fallen sisters, covering the world in white.

When the window pane fogged up completely from my breath, rendering the countryside behind an amorphous expanse of greys and whites, I proceeded to my dressing room, determined to choose my dress for the day without Katerina's advice and interference.

I wanted to wear something dark. Preferably grey. Warm and grey.