2: Habits

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"Hey! You didn't tell me your ability!" Chuuya calls out to you as he moves to catch up after you left him standing there with curiosity and confusion, a hand reaching out and holding you by the wrist when you don't stop.

Forgetting his own strength, Chuuya pulls you back, accidentally causing you to crash into him as you had been caught completely off guard. Your heart thumps loudly in your chest as you push yourself away from the executive, your face red with panic.

I tell him I'll be good and I'm already embarrassing myself. Good job [f/n]. Dazai would be so disappointed, it's pathetic.

"I'm sorry, that won't happen again." You say immediately, bracing yourself for some sort of insult or maybe physical punishment as you look away from him.

Although equally as embarrassed, Chuuya doesn't understand your reaction since he's the one that pulled at you too hard. He watches you continue to react, it being one of the biggest displays of any sort of emotion he'd seen from you from the short time he's known you, already realizing that other than discomfort or some sort of fear/shock, you express nothing else.

"Tsk, what are you sorry for? It was my bad anyways..." Chuuya assures you, looking away awkwardly and letting go of you as quickly as he can.

"But...I do need to know your ability. Now that you'll be working with me, I need to know what and who I'm working with...especially if you worked with Dazai."

Worked with Dazai?

I worked for him. I did it all for him.

"I don't know the name of my ability, you'd have to ask Dazai for that...though I assume after so long he's probably dead..." You murmur, not catching the surprise on Chuuya's face as you comment about Dazai's status. Looking back at him, you continue talking, trying to come off as more confident.

He was Dazai's partner, and he seems different...I should try responding to him with more respect because of that.

I don't want to look like an idiot again.

"If I have someone's full name, I can write it down on a piece of paper and that paper will manifest itself into a puppet-like version of the person. From then, I can do whatever you need me to do to them. I have no limits and I do not have to be physically there to do it. I only need their name." You inform Chuuya, straightening yourself up with your head held a little higher.

"Oh...so that's why Dazai kept you to himself...that bastard, no wonder he had such high success rates...and why his torture methods were so successful.." Chuuya begins to grumble to himself, starting to slowly keep walking through the mafia halls with you following behind him, unsure what you were supposed to be doing and why the executive kept talking to himself in the first place.

After a few minutes of silent walking, your eyes exploring the details in the corridors and stained glass windows of the Port Mafia headquarters, Chuuya stops in front of a door you hadn't seen in years, yet you are able to recognize it without any hesitation. Without saying anything, the red-head takes out a key you assume he got from Mori and opens the door, peaking inside first before opening it wide for you.

"The boss told me this is where you'll be staying again. Tomorrow I'll come looking for you to get ready for the mission, and I'll explain everything on the way. I have high expectations, but..." you don't hear the rest of his words, your heart beat drowning any other noises as you stare at the darkness of the room Chuuya had just opened. Without any lights, you felt as if taking even one step inside would drown you, your whole body pleading you to step away from the room; but you can't. You told yourself you wouldn't complain, you wouldn't give your new superior a reason to doubt you.

"...so you should probably go see Higuchi at the armoury-" Chuuya pauses mid explanation, seeing your face drain of colour the longer you stand there facing the darkened room.

"Is there something wrong?"

"No! No..." you shake your head, slowly walking in, pushing the door with one hand as you let the light from the hallway pour in as you struggle to find the lights, anxiety surging through you as you can't seem to find the switch.

Then, suddenly,  the lights are on and your whole room comes into better view. You turn around to see Chuuya was the one to find the lights with a raised brow at you as you only stare at him without any gratitude, hiding your expressions as you turn back around, taking in the room you had spent years alone in, and most often in the dark. Written on the wall across from you, directly visible from the doorway, hundreds of names are written on the walls, most of them in almost unreadable handwriting, though some were given careful details. Your bed sits against the same wall, and other than some cabinets, a small washroom attached by another door and a small mirror on top, the room is empty. To you though, it's full of your darkest moments.

"What are all those names?" Chuuya asks curiously, though he was more curious about your reaction to the room you had demonstrated earlier, whether you knew it or not.

"It's everyone I tortured or killed for Dazai, of course. He insisted I keep track so I never forget." You state as if it's obvious, a pain in your mind as you try to suppress horrid memories trying to come back upon seeing your room again.

"That's...there's got to be something seriously wrong with that guy..." Chuuya murmurs, not wanting to think too deeply into what else Dazai would do to you to establish a sick level of control.

"Anyways, I'll be leaving now so I'll see you tomorrow. Don't be late." He adds with a sigh, wanting to stop talking about Dazai as soon as possible, and about to turn back to leave you alone until you catch his overcoat and tug at him not to leave yet.

"Wait. You haven't told me how we are going to communicate if I am to stay here again. Will you be leaving me in here for days? Should I prepare to starve? What about an earpiece to receive the names?"

The more you talk, the more weirded out Chuuya gets, pushing your hand off of him and crossing his arms over his chest, eyes narrowed with slight annoyance.

"What are you talking about? I said you're coming with me didn't I? Besides, why the hell would you starve yourself or stay here the whole time in the first place? You aren't an actual doll, right? You can think on your own..."

You stand with your eyes widened in surprise of Chuuya's response, your head tilting to the side lightly as you aren't able to process his attitude towards you, or his questions. The only reference you had to anything was, of course, Dazai, and the thought to act out of your own free will is almost unthinkable, with very few exceptions.

"I don't understand. Why would you let me out? Where would I go?"

"Are you joking?"

"...no..."

"Then...why are you being difficult?"

Difficult? I'm only asking for my rules. Dazai always set them if I was going to be of any use. That's why I never left and no one ever saw me...that's why when I went to stay with Mori and Elise, they decided everything for me. I don't deserve to have a choice, only instructions to follow. That's what made me useful and...worthy.

"I'm sorry." Is all you can muster out, suddenly afraid of angering Chuuya further, the thought of having to go back to Mori and Elise crossing your mind and repulsing you.

You drop your gaze away from Chuuya, giving up immediately any argument in you, which doesn't go unnoticed by him. As he turns to walk away, Chuuya stops just a little past the doorway and turns back to you, discomfort in his gaze as he tries to understand you, being unable to put together why you were so...

Different.

What does every expression mean? Every time you stop yourself and give up, and each time you spoke up only to sound like some sort of broken servant. Chuuya has never felt so uneasy about a person and their past like he now feels as your few words describe someone that long gave up on being human themselves.

"Just...don't be late." He finally says, placed in an off mood as he walks away, leaving you watch until he's gone from your sight and you can't hear his footsteps anymore.

When Chuuya's gone, you go to close the door, only to feel your hands shake as you face the room again, everything the way you left it the day Dazai left the Port Mafia.

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