one more coffee please

02 | Lu-Hana, Bubble Tea, and The Thing About Coffee

Two guys stroll in, one brown-haired and the other rainbow-haired, and Jongdae scrutinises them as they take seats right near the front, where the orders are made and Lay expertly disregards his post at the pay counter.

"Lay, stop listening to your damned music and keep an eye out on the pay counter," he huffs, slamming his fist down on the island counter. "-oh shit." He cradles his hand and whimpers pitifully.

"Stop it. If you know you can't stand a blow, don't bring it upon yourself." Xiumin artfully arranges cups and platters on a tray as Jongdae sends him a kicked-puppy look.

Lay shakes his head grinningly, pops an earbud out and jerks a thumb towards the cash register. "Nevermind the thieves, Jongdae, even I can't get that old crap open sometimes and I've been here for a tad too long for comfort."

Jongdae sighs. "Do you think we should get a new cash register?" he asks, pushing a full cup of coffee towards Kyungsoo, who trotted off noiselessly with it.

Lay eagerly nods several times. "Definitely."

Jongdae points to a dog-eared noticeboard mounted onto the wall, bombarded with post-its, bits of scrap paper, and dodgy stickers. "Write it there."

All his wishes and dreams disappear into thin air, like the shiny new cash register that was never going to be bought -at least, by them- and Lay groans. It's never going to happen. Jongdae always promises he'd check at sales and clear out the board but it's never happened. In Lay's opinion, Jongdae's just being a lazy shit. But then again, in Jongdae's opinion, Lay's the lazy shit. After all, it's Lay-zy.

The list is slowly getting longer. After Lay scrawls in his never-to-be-fulfilled wish, it looks something like this:

Things To Fix/Do In Jongdae's Grandmother's Wonderful, Amazing Coffee Shoppe:

• Employ a female
• Sell roses
• Paint the walls red
• Wear tie-dyed bandanas as work uniform
• D.O the new female employee ;)
• More days off
•Change layout of cupboards so that it does not smack Jongdae in the head every time he tries to get sugar or something out
• Convince the coffee gods to give Jongdae some skill in keeping his mouth shut while making coffee; he becomes very stupid then and his uneducated comments are very irritating
• Get rid of the pot plant by the door
• Offer dating advice
• Get new cash register

"Offer dating advice?" Xiumin asks quizzically, eyeing the sheet skeptically. "We're a coffee shop, a café... not a freaking ice cream parlour, like Jongdae said, OR a dating advice clinic. Who wrote that?"

"Me," Jongdae sheepishly admits, cowering slightly when Xiumin turns on him with blazing eyes, "cos look at those two," He points at Kris and Tao. "and then at those two." He then directs their gazes to the brown-haired and rainbow-haired guys sitting in one of the small booths. "They need to look more like them. A little more loving, I guess."

And once Jongdae says that, it all starts.

"You're the girl!" Rainbow Hair says.

"No I'm the man," Brown Hair replies.

"You're the girl,"

"No I'm not."

"You ARE the girl," Rainbow Hair insists.

"NO I'M NOT. I'M NOT. You're the girl. YOU HAVE GIRLY HAIR. LOOK AT THAT RAINBOW FLUFF ON YOUR HEAD," Brown Hair shouts.

"I'M NOT THE GIRL. I CAN'T BE THE GIRL. I DON'T HAVE A GIRLY NAME AND I'M MANLIER THAN YOU."

"My name's not girly either! I'M MANLIER THAN YOU!"

"YES IT IS. YOUR NAME IS LU-HANA. SEE, THAT'S A GIRL'S NAME. YOU CAN'T TURN SEHUN INTO A GIRL'S NAME, CAN YOU?! TAKE THAT!"