Open Letters to the One

Letter #12

Let me just start this letter with a quote from Virginia Woolf:

 "In case you ever foolishly forget: I am never not thinking of you."

Isn't it strange how one person can give you energy for the rest of the day? Weird huh? I know. Because that's what I feel right now. I never expected I'd be writing this letter, but here I am. So... it's been about a year since my last letter. And I took a break to find myself, but instead I found you. And I've never been happier. From a roller coaster ride of emotions, it finally came to a stop. I realized that when someone likes you back, there shouldn't even be a roller coaster at all. I've met you, and it has always been straightforward, smooth and steady. I always told myself that there is happiness in solitude, and there was, but my mind kept on going back to the thought of "What would it feel to be in a relationship?" to have someone you share your interests with, someone just as weird as you, to have someone just be there at a time when you can't love yourself.  It's funny because you came when I least expected it. When my mindset was so low; you came at a time when I felt so unlovable, so unwanted, so alone; when I was at a point where I almost gave up hope of ever finding someone in this world. 

It's been two weeks since we got together, and I find it interesting that when you like someone, you start to notice that everything about them seems more attractive when it seems normal to everyone else. Their smile seems so much brighter, the sound of their voice is more soothing, their goofy laugh sounds much cuter. Every little thing about them just reels you in. It's like their imperfections don't seem bad at all. And that's true, because when you love someone, you don't love them "because...", you should love them "despite...". And I always have stuck with that quote ever since. It gave me a different perspective on relationships; to love someone "because," gives the impression that you're only pointing out the good parts of them and the relationship. For me, a relationship should be well rounded. So to say, "I love you despite...", it encompasses their good parts as well as accepting their bad parts; because to love is accepting each other's flaws. When you love, you take this person as a whole package, and not just by parts.

I'm writing this letter because I felt inspired to do so, and I've never felt this way for a long time. I like it when someone becomes a part of your daily routine. It's nice to talk to someone who wants to talk to you just as much, without anything feeling forced. To you, that special someone reading this: You are a constellation I could never get enough of gazing at. How lucky I am that I can enjoy your existence up close. To quote Jennifer Niven, "You are all the colors in one, at full brightness."

Whenever I see couples pass by me, I always whisper to myself: "I want what they have." 

And finally, I did get what they have.

Thanks for coming into my life when I thought I was unlovable. For that, I am grateful.