my throat felt tight as i looked at my phone ringing. jahseh wanted to talk to me on the phone and i was nervous. he didn't know what i looked like and i liked it that way. and i know he said i didn't have to show my face but still i felt nervous as hell.
taking a deep breath, i accepted the call and let my phone camera point at the ceiling.
"ight so this is a rough draft so don't laugh or i'ma stab you." his raspy voice said through the speaker. his face was just barely in the camera but i could see the small tattoo under his eye.
"no need to be violent, i promise i won't laugh if you're shit at music." i rolled my eyes even though he couldn't see.
"shut up and listen." he propped his phone against something and grabbed his laptop. he pressed a few things and a soft melody started to play. "can you hear it?"
"yeah."
"okay."
for a moment the beat played out, a women's voice singing softly. it was really pretty.
"i should'a lost my mind with a busted bitch, now the picture breakin, with a arch broke with a smile, fuck me over im forever sober cause im scared i'll crash inna mob, but i won't, im fine, i'll be better off alone without you lover,"
he closed his eyes and i did the same. there was something about how he sang that tugged at my heart strings. it was raw and unfiltered.
"tearin up my skin it won't stay covered, remember sixth grade oh i was a loner, picking up the balls to shot at the net with no regret, cause i'm laughing deep down my mouth inna gutter, mystery is how i'm still breathing on this earth, torn apart cause i'm all alone."
i sniffled, rubbing my eyes and nose as the women sang again. the lyrics hit harder than i expected and i was on the verge of tears.
he paused the song and grabbed his phone. he rubbed between his eyebrows, "that's all i have so far. honest opinions?"
my throat was blocked and i could barely breathe. "holy fuck, give me a sec to blow my nose." i got up to find my box of tissues. as i was looking around my dresser i knocked my hip into it sending a sharp pain through my leg. "bloody hell, that hurt." i hissed snatching my tissues and then blew my nose.
"fuck are you doing?" jahseh laughed.
i went back to my bed, laying beside my phone. "i fucking hit my hip on my dresser."
"don't be a pussy, you good."
"whatever." i brushed off the comment. "honest opinion, i cried from how absolutely shitty your voice is."
"oh damn you serious?" he seemed to read between the lines. "you cried?"
i stared at the ceiling with a little smile on my face. "it's good, like really good. it hit really close to home, wasn't expecting that." i chuckled.
"yeah i'm basically pablo picasso when it come to this rap shit." i could hear the smugness in his voice.
i laughed. "i'm gonna go to sleep, goodnight!"
"nigga its only 6, im not goin to sleep yet." jahseh scoffed. "but night."
"you're so annoying, bye." i hung up the call.
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liked by r1pb3ttywh1t3 iceberglettuce // bedtime, ight ima head out
