My Dearest Blue

Pressure On Hold

Sofia's POV...
The Rain Was Pouring hard outside my window. As the loud claps of thunder roared past. Flashes of lightning lit up the dark skies blackened from fires and smoke. The Distant Yet haunting sounds of bombers overhead. Sirens and watchdogs still rattle my mind when I sleep at night. The terror from drowning and being blown off a bridge almost while trying to save others. Comes back to me even in my dreams. But I still think of him, Not sure if getting married to him so Young was a mistake or not?. Has he moved on to someone else?. Has He been wounded?. Killed Even?. At times like this, I do wonder if he Still Receives my Letters. Even if He Never Reads Them. I Hope He Loves Me like He Says He Does When He Wrote me back last. As I thought to myself, Wondering what to write about next. I love Him dearly though. I Hope He Realises that. I don't want To Lose Him. Either. Harry, "My Dearest." I Wrote. At the top of the page in my diary I made from scratch. Since I lost the old one. Somewhere in the ocean, Must be. As I Looked out the window some more, Daydreaming. I heard someone open the door. It was one of the ladies that I've been nursing with. Her name was Dorothy, She enters and drops off a large envelope that had some things in it. As it was ripping at the sides.
"Someone Misses You" she said as she Plops the envelope on the night stand.
Opening it as she left. It Was Jewels That My Grandmother gave me As well As earrings that were gifted to my mother that she wore on her wedding day. With a Note left in my mother's handwriting. "Keep These Safe, Like I hold you close to my heart. You will be home soon, And The Crown is Yours Once We Return Home Together As one. Your people need you, Wear these jewels proudly. These are my gift to you, Darling." I smiled at the fact. Although it was bittersweet. I haven't spoken to her in ages. I missed her. I missed the way she smiled and how her bright blue eyes lit up the room everywhere she went. The way these sapphire jewels and pearl earrings dazzled on her ivory skin. At times like this I wish I could be like her, Strong, Independent and a charmer, Warming people's hearts as well. I could never do that if I can't even escape a warzone by myself. She married well, For love anyway. My father always tells me to marry up so I don't destroy or ruin the dynasty. My mum wasn't a commoner, neither was my father. Both Royalty. My Mum's Home dynasty is from Greece, My Father, From Spain. He wants me to continue that lineage and "Keep It Royal, Keep it Pure" He Says. But I Feel since I nearly made love with a commoner, I might have ruined the lineage. In His Image, Since He Wants To Restore the monarchy. Through my hands and rule like every female leader is supposed to rule from her father's lineage. But I feel The monarchy is a dying way to rule. It's just tradition. I put the note in my diary and hid the jewels. But before putting them away for safe keeping, I pulled out a mirror from my suitcase and tried the jewels on. Heavy at first as the cold Precious gems weighed upon my skin. Draping above my collarbone, holding my hair up while looking at the jewels. Dazzling they were. Yet heavy. They looked lovely, While looking at myself in the mirror I was caught off guard which made me jump. Hiding the jewels under my blankets that were covering me.
It was an older woman in her fifties appearing to be, Who was high ranking military personnel.
"Are you Miss Borbón?"
Yes?. I answered back,
"Get Dressed, You have Thirty Seconds." She says as I Hid the jewels in my suitcase and got dressed in my nurse uniform. Forgetting I left the pearl earrings on the bed. Following after her. Not know what to expect,
There were two military officers standing in the office. Holding something, I was itching with nerves the closer we got to them.
"Right this way " Says one of the officers as they lead us into the office and close the door behind them.
"Have a seat" says The Higher ranking officer who sat across from me. The energy in the room was dark.
He lights his cigarette and offers his colleagues one as well as myself. I declined.
He chuckled.
"The news I'm about to tell you. You're going to need one"
My heart started beating out of my chest. I was scared that something had happened to him.
I handed the cigarette over to him. As he lights it.
"So before we begin on any gruesome details. About Your Lover in Secrecy. " "Lets begin with, Where did you come from and why on Earth are you in this bloody war"
Well, I come from spain. I said nervously while I let my cigarette burn before taking a smoke of it. I-I got stuck here on my birthday and I couldn't get out of France.
"Ah. Rich girl caught in a warzone" "Surprise you survived"
"Now, Highly I suggest you take a smoke for this part love"
As the officer behind him pulls out a folded jack flag. With a necklace on it, internally I was shaking. I knew what it meant but I was afraid it could be him They're talking about. I felt my body go numb as they handed me the folded flag. I couldn't look at the man in front of me who had a straight face who could care less.
"This happens to many girls in your position" He said as I couldn't come to terms of what I was seeing or feeling.
"He was a good man, Good soldier, Husband I'm guessing" He said looking at the ring on my finger. Kept from my grandmother for purity reasons.
" His body wasn't found. But he fought to save his country from the enemy forces. So my condolences to you and your family " He said. As I had took a smoke of the cigarette. My fingers shaking, tracing the pattern of white on the flag. My mind was a blur, I went back into the bunk I was in and cried myself to sleep. Until I was woken up by the sound of bombs being dropped and gunfire. The ground was shaking as the emergency infirmary was being evacuated. What the fuck is going on?. I thought. While I grabbed everything I could of my belongings. Putting on my shoes as everyone was yelling and hurrying to the jeeps on search for any survivors. None of us were told what was happening.
Loading ourselves into the vehicles. We were sped off. As rain and mud soiled our uniforms. We weren't sure where we were going. I wanted to go back home. Somewhere safe and warm. But I can't. Not now so the least. The truck comes to a stop. And the doors swung open, next thing we were rushed outside in the pouring rain into a burned down and destroyed village that was off the coast. Still seeing smoke rising out in the open sea. From ships being blown up.
Maybe that's why they brought me his folded flag. I wasn't sure how to handle it emotionally. But as a royal it's kind of hard to feel those emotions immensely as other people do in public.
"YOU SEE THOSE SHIPS OVER THERE!" Said a commanding officer of our squadron.
"THATS OUR NAVY! AND THEY NEED YOU LADIES." WE WILL BE SENDING EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU OUT ON SMALL BOATS  TO EACH DESTROYER" She Yelled trying to make herself heard over the heavy rain. " ITS NO LONGER SAFE FOR YOU LADIES IN FRANCE" "SO NOW UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE" " WE WILL SEND YOU WHEREVER YOU ARE NEEDED" she said. As she had begin to cough. Violently.
"Commander are you alright?" Said a nurse behind me. As we became worried.
"I'm Fine" said our commanding officer.
She pulls out her notepad with a list of names on it.
She calls my name first, "Miss Borbon, You will be sent to El Alamein, Along with Miss Friar, Miss James and Miss Kingsman." "Wish You ladies Well" she said. Then started with the other list of names and their location where they will be sent to.
El Alamein?. I thought. I've heard of it. Just never been. My father might have whenever he'd do state visits. But as for myself I've not step foot in that country. Maybe as Heir Apparent I should. So I could build a strong foundation if I'm to become Queen one day. Maybe this is all but a lesson and a way to survive from outside palace walls where I'm safe and guarded around the clock. I was handed a new uniform and a medical kit. We were loaded onto small boats headed to the vessel waiting out at sea. Stepping into the frigid water and on to the wobbly boat as it tipped to the side by the amount of weight already in it. Getting a bit of a small flashback from the beaches of Dunkirk. With bombs shaking the ground as the boat rocked to it. With planes overhead. We didn't have much time but to hurry our way safely to the vessel. As the designated military personnel sped up the engine. Shivering in the freezing rain as we made our way to the vessel. We parked beside it. As they threw us a roped ladder to climb. So much for being nurses and assisting others. Never thought I'd have to be stepping on other people and hurting them in a hurry to get on board. Helping the other ladies up. I kept watch for any abnormalities approaching us in the water. Since the last time I was on a boat this size. It blew up and ended up sinking on its side. Which was horrifying in itself. I remember I was in the middle of finishing up stitching up a fatal injury on a young lad that had only been in the war a couple of weeks. That was two years ago since then. It hurts me still because he was begging me to let him live. And was he going to die while I had tried to reassure him. He was my age at the time. Which shattered me. Because I had came from a life of privilege and protection at my leisure. I already lost someone once. And I'm still trying to pretend that it didn't happen and that it wasn't Him. I thought to myself. As we were then given some blankets and towels to give to any wounded or stranded soldiers. I was put on canteen duty. Hoping the Jewels I had in my bag wouldn't be stolen from me whilst I was down serving the soldiers in the canteen. Playing with my ring whilst stirring the beef stew that was being made. Doing so brought  me back to when I'd do charity work at soup kitchens back home. My mother always thought it was a good way to gain the people's trust and their hearts. By showing them acts of kindness. I'd always hear about my grandparents telling me that they want to continue the dynasty and not fall into ruin like other dynasties have in the past. They wanted Spain to come back stronger than ever when we're out of Franco's Dictatorship. But being in a war zone at first hand myself. Has made me learn a lot. And value my life and other people's lives a lot more in the sense.
Still thinking of H. Still not really sure of how to even cope with the fact. Hoping this might have been a mistake for some other dead Englishman. I went outside for some "fresh air"  As the rain had gotten heavier. Still seeing the town far off in the distance with fire and smoke. Being ricocheted by bombs and the sound of gunfire. Further and further we were out to sea. With nothing but Pitch black nothingness. The rain had stopped by then. I wish I had gotten to talk to him a lot more. Did I make the mistake of marrying him too young and not see him again. Only to get word that he's been supposedly killed in battle?. The only person I've ever laid eyes on who was sweet and didn't want me for my title. That I haven't even told him about. Even if he knew who I was when he bought me that tea set. I had kissed him a few times. But it didn't feel weird with someone his age. Was it me rebelling Against the kind of men my father wants me to date?. When I looked into those green eyes of his I saw something different. He was lovely. A bit closed off but. Lovely enough to touch. Whilst daydreaming out at sea at around midnight.
"TORPEDO!" I heard someone Yell. As I was interrupted from my own thoughts. As I looked over at the fast approaching missile. All I could see the water waves rushing above it before it hit and blew up a portion of the ship. The blast almost throwing me over the ledge merely going overboard. As it leaned and tilted backwards. Holding on to the wet slippery steel bar. I knew I had to act fast. The Screams of the men and women inside were daunting. Twisting and pulling open the sealed door. Whilst the smell of oil and smoke began filling my lungs. The Frigid Waters of the ocean began to fill the inside of the sinking destroyer. Struggling to get the bloody steel door open. The side of the ship Exploded again. Within seconds I was underwater. The only light were the flames of the burning ship above. I again made another effort to open the door before it fully sank. Freeing them. Any fortunate survivors began hurrying their way out. Swimming away from the ship as it had began to go belly up. Finishing with one more explosion. Many of them covered in oil and badly burned and were burned alive. I could feel the oil in my hair and on my clothing. Swimming to whatever direction I was in. Not knowing where I was or how far I was out at sea. As we all ducked as soon as a few planes flew overhead. My ears were ringing and I was cold due to being caught in the frigid ocean. I held onto a large piece of metal, leftover from the ship. Resting my head it. Whilst keeping myself above water as much as possible. Drifting off to sleep as the water kept calm.
It must've been hours or so. As I felt a bright light being shined in my face. And men yelling at me. I was woken up by the sound of them loudly asking if I were injured and if I were alright. I was so tired I couldn't move. Nor wanted to. The light shines closer. As it must've been some sort of a rescue mission. It was an American group of soldiers looking for any survivors. As one of them pulls me into the boat. They asked for my name and where I was coming from and if I were alright. I was fine I guess. But not mentally. I slept for hours it felt like. After I had woken up I had realised I was carried into a bunk by myself. My belongings still damp from the open sea. I had flashes of his face from when the ship I was on previously had been attacked. I wasn't sure if what those officers were telling me was the truth before I left. Or had their been a mistake. As I covered my yawn while looking at the dog tags with his name on it. Tracing the letters etched on to it.
This can't be him. I thought to myself. As two officers swung open the door to my bunk. Telling me to follow them. I wasn't sure where the gentleman were taking me. But I guess they were going to bring me in for questioning since everyone thinks I'm some sort of spy. They rang a buzzer. And were granted permission to enter. One enters first, with the other behind me keeping watch of me and outside the office.
"Take a Seat ma'am" said an older man who seemed to be their commander.
I did as such. I sat properly with my legs slanted to the side how I regularly am used to. As they looked at me like I was a bit peculiar. I looked a mess. But in their eyes I must've been mad.
"Do you have any idea why you're out here and where you are young lady?"
I quietly cleared my throat, then answered.
I got lost. And no, I do not have any idea where I am or where I'm going at this point.
"Ah" "I See, What is your real name, Do you have any documentation on you " said the man who had a bit of a strange accent I've not yet heard. He said as I pulled out the wet documents I had since I got trapped in France the first time.
The offer besides me snatches it from me and hands it to his commander as he licks his finger and flips through my personal documents.
"Any Uh, Sides with the Germans or Japs Young lady ?" "What's a girl your age doing out here in a goddamn war!" "Shouldn't you be at home with your mom or your husband even?"
I couldn't really tell him who my parents were, otherwise he'd either laugh like they all would. But I would Tell him that I Have a Husband. I just don't know whether he's alive or just missing in battle.
"Your last name is Borbon, Do you speak English?. Or is that all you know?" "I want an answer, Otherwise I am gonna have to detain you" "we don't do kindly to spies, male or female!"
I am Miss Borbon and I have a husband. But I do not know where he is. Originally I am from Spain, Sire- Sir.
I said correcting myself as I had spoken up towards his racial remarks.
"That don't sound Spanish to me, Nor Do You look Spanish. You're As white as I am"
"Either you're some type of German spy putting on an accent pretending to be Spanish" "Or you're just some phoney whore getting away from her husband" "Who's Probably Dead" "What's Your Husband's name and where is he stationed"
He said.
His name is Harry, His Last name is Styles. He's with the English Expeditionary Force. And he's gone missing. The last time I saw him was in France. He was trapped at Dunkirk some years ago. And made his way up to northern France. That was the last time I saw him.
"So you're Mrs.Borbon-Styles Then." He said as if I were making a fool of myself because he didn't believe me.
"Aren't you a little young? To be married"
He said.
We did it because we were young and stupid. Now aren't you going to ask me questions whether I'm a spy or not?. I asked sarcastically
As I corrected my posture.
"We're Gonna keep you here on this ship until you tell me how exactly you got here and what your plan is young lady"
Said the man.
as if I hadn't already told him. I don't remember much of it.
So I thought of a quick plan to get me out of this mess.
All I am is a volunteered Nurse, General. I am here to help these young men get well and be back on the frontlines to fight and destroy the enemy forces.
I was with the British Expeditionary Force helping out. They told me the exact same thing you've been asking me. They thought I was a spy. So in order for me not to go back to Spain. I asked if I was able to volunteer as a nurse. Just to be a bit of help. Then I found the love of my life. Now if I am such a threat to you. Then so be it. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll be in my room. I said getting up and grabbing my coat. Before a guard had stopped me.
Was I blowing my cover I had thought. As I was demanded to take a seat back in the chair I was sitting in. Back to my correct royal lady posture. They must've thought I was a madwoman. Why was I being  interrogated this heavily.
"I'm gonna let you off with a warning. If I see you, or any people like you. I will have you detained and put in for questioning" "I'm going to contact whatever expeditionary force you're with, so you'll be out of my hair and off my goddamn vessel". He said as he put out his cigarette and began writing down a number then dialling it is.
And within the next twenty four hours. I was back at the British Army Base. Carrying my heavy sack of Jewels and Uniform that I had with me before the ship got torpedoed. Feeling the ground ricochet beneath my feet by the bombs being dropped while the explosions continued. I hurried my way to the tents to sign in. Getting dressed in my nurse's uniform and prepping my medical kit. There was a man about Harry's Age in a tent by himself screaming in absolute agony. Whilst two nurses had been scrambling to find out what to do with the man's leg who had been blown apart. The camp was a bit overwhelmed with injured and dying men.
"Lucy You Stay with This Young man and Give that newbie who just walked in any instructions you might have!. I've got to get to the truck and gather more supplies. There's too many of them!" Said the head nurse from what I could guess. As the young woman signalled me to come. I looked at the man's leg that had been spilled all over the cot. As he had looked over at me. Breathing in agony.
His bright blue eyes dark with pain and fear.
"You have the Most Beautiful Blue Eyes I have ever Saw!" "Please don't let me Die!" "I don't Wanna Die!" "I Want My Mum!" He yelled.
"Listen, love we're gonna have to amputate your leg, you've already lost enough blood sir" said the nurse behind me. Who was examining it, This Young lady will help. Out of sympathy I felt for him. I looked him in the eyes and said, I will not let you die, you will see your mother. Now the only way for you to live is that we have to amputate your leg. But I will make sure you live?. Got it?. What is your name sir?. I asked. As he struggled "H-Harris, Harrison Redditch" He Said. I smiled and nodded. Still holding his hand. The nurse gave me a thick band of lather for him to bite on. While she grabbed and sterilised the saw "Ready?" She said. As The man's Eyes Welled up with fear and said "NO!, NO!"
Before she started cutting. Hearing him scream in agony. I was telling him to look at me, trying to distract him from it. I kept reassuring him and trying to calm him down. As I heard the woman sawing through bone. I began Calming and reassuring him even more. Because on the inside I was panicking. I wasn't sure what to do in these type of situations.
"All done" said the woman. As she had grabbed the necessary tools to sew up his leg and clean off the blood. Wrapping it in a bandage after it was over. I gave him some morphine to help ease the pain after she had left. It was around midnight at that time. Still holding his hand. While the bombs, gunfire and explosions had continued. Still missing Harry. Wondering If he were alive, dead or injured. Did he forget about me?. Was he alright?.
I thought to myself. As I still had his dog tags around my neck that I kept hidden from other people. I missed him dearly. I wonder if he still missed me at all. I had thought to myself. As the Man named Harrison woke up.
"I haven't met a nice bird  like you " he said at random. Which caught me off guard.
What makes you say that?. I said
"My dad don't want me here" " so it's why I joined the war. To get away from him"
Why is that? I asked
"I'm a bit of a coward. " he said
No you're not. For all your bravery, You deserve The highest of medals. The fact that you went out to prove that you are no match for the enemy. Really proves How Brave of a Man you are. Regardless of what your father thinks of you.
He chuckled.
"Thanks"
"Not sure if any lass would look at me the same now that I've got half a leg"
Someone will find you beautiful. I said
He looked over at me "Would you ever date me then?, looking like this?"  He said as if he were a bit baffled.
I smiled at him.
I'm Married.  I said
"He's a lucky guy then" "where's he from then"
Cheshire
"Nice, my mum's from there." " Always took me down to that bakery down in Holmes Chapel."
I've never been there. But it sure does sound like a lovely place to visit.
"If this war ever ends, maybe you should?" he said
Most definitely I will. I mean?. We can only hope right?. I said
As he nodded. "Yeah.." he sighed. As he began coughing up blood. Hurrying to move the pail for him to vomit. I cleaned him up and examined the bandage from his missing leg. As well as cleaning off the blood from his lips.
"You're a kind lass you know that right?" He said. "Promise if I see you again you'll remember me right?" He said. As I had nodded.
Yes I will, Promise. I said. Holding and caressing both of his hands. The way that my mother used to , just to calm and reassure us when we were little.
"May I get your name. I'm sorry I didn't ask"
Sofia Victoria, But you can call me Sofia. I said. As he had tried to smile. As the pain had came back,
"FUCK!" He Groaned. As the pain from the amputation had begun to agonise him. We're going to get you to a Hospital I said. As I noticed it started bleeding through the bandage. Immediately I had called for an ambulance and had him rushed to the hospital. The frequent sound of bombings, and smoke filled the area as I had left the base to go with him. I had kept the blood from flowing. While I continued to check his pulse and see if he was still conscious. Stay with me Harrison!. I said whilst caressing his hand. I will see you again I promise!. Just stay with me!. I said. As his lips turned a bit blue from the amount of blood loss he had lost again.
We had got to the army hospital. Rushing him in to make sure he had care immediately. Not realising that these people have seen who my parents were before. We had him put into a bed next to another soldier that had been severely burned. Before I knew it he was taken into theatre and operated on. That was the last time that I saw him. I'll Remember you Harrison, Sofia.