The Name is Tozier

Alcohol is a Painkiller [Pt. 1]

Bill walks out of the hospital into the cold night staring at Richie leaning up against a light post smoking. He sighs walking up to him about to ask if he's alright but Richie already groaned when he walked up next to him.

"You're afraid?"

"Afraid of fucking what Bill"

"Eddie hating you for leaving him down there"

"Bill. You just love jumping the gun. Do you want me to beat your ass up?!"

"Your fucking dumbass won't be able to stay balanced. Who knows what drinks courses through your system still?"

The two stared at each other before sharing a very short laugh. Richie laughs to the point he started crying as Bill rests his hand on his back.

"He's going to hate me...."

Meanwhile...

"Am I dead...."

"Why would we be here if you were Eddie?" Bev laughs as she was crying from how happy she was for him to be alive.

"But Stanley's here..."

"Oh my god I'm not explaining it to him" Stanley groans face palming.

"Am....am I dying? Is that why Stanley's here?" Eddie groans before gripping his chest to make his coughing less painful.

"Well Mr. Kaspbrak, I'll be back in an hour for another check. But by the looks of your friends not explaining. I'm guessing science is the reason he's still alive" The doctor laughs before escorting herself out of the patient room.

"I'm not going to explain it. I'm going to have Bill do it when he brings Richie back in" Stanley says calmly leaning up against the wall as Bev sat by Eddie's feet. She watches him try to get up which concerned everyone.

"Hey stay in the bed Eddie" Mike reassures holding his shoulder keeping him down as does Ben.

"Stanley go get the two" Bev waves off Stanley who did exactly what was asked of him. "Eddie he is here"

"H-....He...Fucking Richard" Eddie brought one of his hands to cover his eyes as he started balling.

Bev frowns resting her hand on his leg as a comfort like method. None of them knew what to say as they let him break down.

Stanley ran out of the hospital finding Bill and Richie sitting on the curb of the roundabout for load offs. He was about to walk up to them but decided to eavesdrop for the moment.

"When we went back to Derry, all my memories came back of Eddie. And my heart dropped. Afraid something will happen. And...My best friend was dead. I...c-couldn't talk to him then. So I kept this dirty little secret of my closeted ass to myself....even when Eddie died in front of me...but before you dragged me out of there..I told him how I felt as I held onto his body. Then shit crumbled around us and we needed to go. But I shouldn't have gone....I shouldn't have Bill.."

"We made you get out of there...we made you leave him behind. So you can put the blame on us instead of yourself. You don't need to always feel shit." Bill frowns as he tried to reassure the best he can since he himself was still confused. "I have feelings for Stanley, I knew I did when we took the blood oath. But I was afraid. Of every outcome. Even the ones that make me the man I am right now"

"Did you even tell him your feelings? Like. Of course not the poor timing I did. But hey did you tell him? Since not only me but you went off the radar spending your time with Stanley"

"I was his other emergency contact besides his ex wife. That's like the "main" reason that seems normal. But my wife and I were going through a rough patch. I needed a friend. So I took the opportunity"