Lose Control (The Jewel Project #5)

38.2|| Desert Walkers

"Skye..."

She turned to him, her face filled with warmth. "Yes, Snowflake?"

He could get lost in her eyes forever. In her. She was much bigger, much better, more overwhelming than anything. 

"You're really beautiful," he said, though the words didn't even begin to cover it.

A blush crept to her cheeks and she bit her lower lip. "You're not too shabby yourself, but I think you're already tired of me fawning over your gorgeousness."

"I'll never get tired of that."

She laughed and leaned her head on his shoulder again. And at that moment, as he wrapped both arms around her, there was nothing he'd rather do than stargaze with her.

♠️

Jessie felt like an idiot, but even as she dropped with her ass in the sand a little further behind the tents, she couldn't help but fumble with the communicator. Just seeing that it turned on and was trying to connect gave her a little piece of solace.

More than anything had that day. She wasn't sure why, because things were going great. Except being out there without Jimmy felt like she was betraying him on some level. The crunching of footsteps signaled someone approaching, but she couldn't even bother to turn around.

"What are you doing?" Kay asked, sitting next to her.

"Nothing, really."

"Trying to talk to Jimmy?"

"I'd wish." With a sigh, she lowered the gadget and turned to her friend. "What about you?"

"I'm fabulous," Kay said, and from her tone, it was obvious she wasn't being sarcastic. "But I will be even more fabulous after I continue doing right things. I need to apologize to you properly. I've been a really crappy friend ever since you've returned and I never really said I was sorry for actually thinking you and Kyle could..."

"It's okay. I understand." Sort of. "You two alright now?"

Kay's smile was small, but it still made her glow, like one of the distant stars in the sky. "Yes. Better than ever actually. All we needed to do was talk. And you were right. He deserves so much more."

Jessie bit back her own grin. "Glad to be of service."

"No, seriously." Kay put her hand on Jessie's shoulder and squeezed. "I know how hard this has been on Kyle, especially over the past few days, and you being here really helped him. And, no matter what, I'm grateful for that."

Jessie did her best to keep smiling and squeezed her shoulder in return. Kay would never know how badly she'd broken him, that she'd actually made him cry. But did it really matter when she had he obvious power to put him back together? They were back to their honeymoon stages, all over each other. It only made her miss Jimmy more.

"You'll be fine, you know," Kay said, as if reading her mind. "Jimmy wasn't ever really mad at you. Just confused. I am a little, too, because I can't understand why you wouldn't--"

"My ex husband was a piece of trash of a man," Jessie said, her voice low. Even if Esteban was a thing of the past, her decision to run off without a word still plagued her, and she needed to tell someone about it to assure herself her it hadn't been completely insane. "I married him because he pretended to be exactly what I needed. A friend and a way to escape my parents. But once we were married, he decided he had rights. "

Kay frowned. "Rights? Wait, are you saying..."

Jessie nodded grimly. "I've never told anyone this, except my mother, but he forced himself on me. Took my virginity."

Kay brought her hands to her mouth. "That's awful."

"I know. What was worse was when my supposed mother told me he was my husband, what did I expect?" 

Kay's face darkened. "Oh, I know all about mothers like that."

"The thing is," Jessie continued, "I managed to overcome it. But even so, even if I managed to reason my way out of a depression and feeling like a victim, it's still part of a life I hated, a life I didn't want to bring any of you into." She raised her eyes and took Kay's hand. "I want you to swear to me that you will never tell Kyle or Jimmy about this. They're the reason I felt it necessary to cut everyone off. Because I'm sure that if they ever find out about this, they'd kill Esteban. Literally. And they don't deserve to lose their lives over a piece of shit."

"I swear, of course. And I think you did the right thing."

They sat in silence for a few moments. Jessie tried to drive her tears back. It was all in the past now, anyway. She was back and she would never again forget who she really was, where she belonged. This was her home, they were her family. No matte what.

Kay wrapped her arms around her and pulled her into a hug. "You're so strong," she said. "And I'll always be here for you, no matter what. You're one of my best friends."

"And you're mine." And it finally felt like it again.

"Want to join me in pestering our other best friend to find out why she's suddenly moody?" Kay asked, pulling away.

"Nah, thanks. I need a bit more time with the stars."

"Okay." Kay stood and gave her shoulder one last squeeze before moving between the tents.

Left on her own, Jessie let out a sigh. It had felt good to share, good that Kay hadn't judged her, Things were getting better. Kyle and Kay, Sam and Skye... And she truly believed what everyone kept telling her, that Jimmy wasn't mad at her, that him coming back would lead to them talking and hopefully getting back together. Because every time she looked at the sky, all she could think about was him.

"Do you ever think about me at all?" she whispered to the night.

Of course it didn't answer. Just like everything else in their lives, it remained a mystery.

♠️♠️♠️

I wanted to clear up a few things, and I like people actually communicating and getting over their squabbles after I spent an entire book throwing bricks at them.

Of course, this doesn't mean I'm done with the bricks. I'm just holding them off for the future chapters.

So Sam is finally aware he's not projecting anything and is actually in love with Skye. Kay continues to apologize to people for being a douche. And Sam believes they're not lost and they'll actually reach their destination soon.

Then there's the matter of Jimmy (and Jerry). What are they actually doing up there? I guess we'll see in the next chapter.

Stay tuned and don't forget to vote and comment. 4 chapters left until the end.