Lose Control (The Jewel Project #5)

38.2|| Desert Walkers

An uncomfortable knot lodged itself in Sam's throat. It was an ever-existing possibility in their lives, but not something Jessie usually pointed out. "I'm sure we'll be fine. That he'll be fine. We're tougher to crack than this. Plus, up side, no Snitch Gravel."

Jessie just stared at him for a second, then rubbed her nose. "You're right. I'm just being stupid." She stood, and with a small wave, walked between the two tents and into the night.

Sam sighed as he watched her go. He could understand what upset her. This was the first time she'd been on a mission without Jimmy. And Sam had to admit that he missed him and Jerry a lot. They brought a balance to the group and now everything seemed shaky. Yes, Kyle was on guard duty and everyone else was settling for rest, as usual, but still... No Jerry to ask if they ate, no Jimmy to potentially design traps.

And if Tom hadn't had the crazy idea to actually get tents, they'd be freezing their asses off on the sand. Good thing they'd had the sense to pack warm clothes, because the temperature had dropped dramatically. Every time they spoke, vapor came out. 

"It's just one night," Sam mumbled to himself.

"Have you noticed anything weird?" Skye asked.

He turned his attention to her and away from paranoid thoughts. He had. Like Angie suddenly avoiding Tom again, Kay still being a little queasy because of that damn water, Jessie being overemotional. But he was sure that wasn't what Skye meant. 

"Like what?"

She looked at the star-filled sky, nestling in his hoodie, and hummed. "It's too quiet."

"Are you turning paranoid, too?" he asked with a laugh.

"No. My paranoia burst when I met you and now it's all over the place and I can't gather it up for the life of me. I already know anything can kill me at this point." She started bouncing her knees. "Even the cold."

"Sam squinted at her. You're really enjoying this, aren't you?"

She grinned at him. "What gave it away?"

"You're no longer tense around the others."

"You were right, they're cool. And getting into a screaming match with Kyle and winning boosts the ego."

Sam chuckled and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "Yeah, that was actually funny." 

Plus, Kyle's mood had so obviously improved, he also found the whole thing amusing. Sam had no idea what had happened and when, and knew that it wasn't any of his business, but seeing his brother and Kay back together and being embarrassingly in love brightened his day.

"I'm so glad he and Kay are fine now," Skye said. "Your model of the perfect romance was not shattered."

"True. I hear it might have happened by talking."

Skye laughed and leaned her head on his shoulder. "Communication. Imagine that."

As Sam watched the light of the flames flickering in her eyes and the content smile on her face, his heart seemed to grow in size. Kyle had been right, as usual. He wasn't projecting anything on her. 

It was all about her. How smart she was, how no-nonsense. He loved the way she stood up for herself and how she made him feel normal, powerful. Grounded. He loved the way she laughed, the tenderness in her smile. The way she made efforts to get along with his family, to be part of his life. He loved her bravery, her ability to forgive, and her big heart. The way she kissed, the way she touched him, the way she'd risked it all for him.

This was not projection. Not some random ghost or faceless statue he put on a pedestal.

He loved her, every bit of her.