I Was Never Loved

I Was Never Loved- chp 7

"Ouch, didn't you like want to kill him?"

"Yeah, I'd have knocked him over so hard my mum would feel it."

"Definitely..." I lied. If that was really the case and I really had run into Matt's fist I would have to take it graciously then hide, in case mom saw it as me hurting her son's wrist. It would only get worse from there."But my mom tried convincing me it was an accident and you know I couldn't be bothered with a lecture on forgiveness so I just let it slide."

"Brothers." Madelyn said rolling her eyes. I'd learned that she had one of her own but he was older than her by a year. They bickered often enough but if you asked her, she'd swear she loved her brother. The same could not be said for me.

At lunch, I sat alone in the corner waiting for my friends to join me. I saw Jayden walk into the lunch room. He was about to head over to me, looking a little worse for wear, when he was stopped by Carmen. He looked extremely annoyed but she only flipped her and kept smiling. It wasn't anything like I imagined it would have been, seeing them together. They weren't all over each other as if they'd found a new love over the weekend, in fact Jayden didn't seem to want anything to do with her. I looked to the table Jayden normally sat at and saw Erin staring out intently. Her gaze then turned to me, the stare was icy. If looks could kill I would have dropped dead maybe a thousand times in that one moment. The girl was livid.

"She blames you, you know." My head whipped around and I saw Jonie sitting right behind me. I gave her a puzzled look, both wondering what she was talking about and when she'd managed to get behind me. As was typical of her, she chose only to answer one question, despite deciphering that there were two. "Ever since you made your little announcement three weeks ago others have become bolder in their approaches to get Jayden. They figure that if a new girl can do it then so could they—especially since you tried and you're still breathing." She explained with all the nonchalance of an outsider looking in; free from any repercussions that might hit everyone stuck on the inside. "To them you're a guinea pig and you've passed the test so they figure it's safe to tread the waters."

I stared at her. What was with these people? I was a person, not a project to be watched carefully; something no one at this school seemed to understand very well.

Jayden walked away from her and came to sit with us. He seemed frustrated and tired, as if today was a nightmare he was still muddling through and no matter how he tried he couldn't wake up.

"So you slept with her..." I said tonelessly without looking at him. For as much as I'd told myself I wouldn't bring it up, it was the first thing out of my mouth. My impulses were acting up again. I hadn't been able to get them under control since my first week here. Onto week three and they were still getting the better of me. He didn't answer, he didn't even acknowledge that I had spoken. An awkward silence sat amongst us at the table. None of us knew what to say. Nothing seemed right.

The minutes trickled by this way before Carmen walked over to us with a girl I didn't know.

"Carmen said that you and her . . .well . . . that you two slept together on Friday night. Is it true?"

Jayden glared up at Carmen. "Are you going to go around telling everyone?"

"Well I don't see why I can't tell my friends. I mean guys sleep and talk so why shouldn't I?" She smiled spitefully down at him. He stared up at her with a now passive expression but said nothing.

"Attention students, can Jayden Pryce and Carmen Phillips report to the Principal's office immediately." The Principal ordered over the intercom. Jayden's expression grew dark then. He got up and they walked off. Jonie pulled me up and said we had to follow. Slowly she was trying to turn me into a data carrier too. At one point she called me her prodigy, told me I was still impressionable and therefore a good candidate. I had to admit that it felt good being incorporated and I had a feeling that she knew that; that that was the reason for her decision and not my actually potential for Data Collection. I might have been flattered if I didn't feel it was out of pity. She'd seen my wounds, she knew my story and suddenly we were great friends? I wasn't buying it.