I Was Never Loved

I Was Never Loved- chp 5

Chapter 5

The following Thursday found me standing by the stairs to the main building looking out. I wasn't looking at anything in particular but somehow I couldn't stop. It was as if my mind had taken leave of my body and had gone off wandering while I remained behind. It's not certain how long I stood like that, lost to the rest of the world but it was relaxing. Not the sort of spacing out where all my problems started rushing back but the sort where my mind was blissfully empty and I wasn't trying to make sense of things.

"Hey, Kai." Her voice drew me from my concentration and back to a reality I did not want to be in. What on earth did Jonie want now? "We don't talk very often, let's talk." She leaned against the railing next to me, looking out in a vain attempt to find what had captured my attention only moments earlier.

"Why so you can analyze my sentences and get new info?" I asked now looking over at her. This was the second conversation I'd had with Jonie since Gym and I couldn't help but think it was for the best. It was likely she would know all about me in due time but I knew very little of her and a bit of asking around taught me it was on purpose. For someone so interested in mass data collection, Jonie was a closed book. Hardly anyone seemed to know anything about her and by all indication, her only friends were those on the Body, despite she herself not being one of its members.

"No." She said with a casual shrug of her shoulders and an air of indifference. "I've already collected all the data on you that I need for now."

"What?"

"Yeah. So far I've found out that you constantly space out even though you're trying to avoid your own thoughts. Your mom isn't the one paying your tuition, you have a little brother that you're jealous of and I get the feeling that you haven't had a very happy life."

My mouth fell open as I stared at her. How did she know all that? I hadn't known her for more than a week and a few days. When did she have time to get all that info? Half that info shouldn't have even been accessible. Weren't those private files locked away in the Principal's Office? Was there anything private with this girl? I turned from her, trying to settle a myriad of feelings that threatened to boil up at once. There was something strange about this school and the people in it; for better or worse, they'd gotten me feeling again and it wasn't something I was prepared for. In the moment, I was angry—indignant even—but I was also terrified of what else she was capable of learning. Apprehension was there too; what would she think once she learned it all? What would Jayden think? Who would she tell? Mother wouldn't let me change schools again, not for a reason like this one. I've have to live through the ridicule and humiliation.

When I didn't respond, she continued speaking.

"The thing is . . . you're much deeper than that. You're full of info buried deep down where you hope you can one day forget it but I haven't found out the rest as yet." She said thoughtfully. It sounded like she was slowly developing an obsession and that was the last thing I needed. To be studied was violation enough; to be treated as a science experiment was something else entirely. Something told me that dangerous things would happen if Jonie started viewing me as a piece of data rather than a human being.

"Stop looking, you don't need to know anymore." I said, trying to shut her out. This had to stop. Jayden may have set a monster on me without even knowing in order to get results he probably wouldn't have wanted to know. He was an obsessive creep, in that moment I decided this and his friend here was no better.

"Are you kidding?! You're the most interesting piece of data I've been able to collect in months! I'm definitely going to find out more." She practically squealed with a grin that confirmed my earlier suspicion. She was hooked.