Crossroads - H.S.

Chapter 38

A/N : I just feel like this song suits this whole book.

I start my job today.

I found a small cafe about ten minutes away from the house, and they hired me to be a waitress. It's called The Sunflower Cafe, which the name is another thing that had me drawn to it.

I didn't really have a resume ready that I could give to them, and I was afraid to make one considering how I left my other job, but I explained the experience I have to them and I guess I made a good impression.

I'm nervous, but also really excited to finally be around people again. I miss serving, and I miss having those light conversations with people I may never see again, or who may become my regulars. There are bad moments of course, but it's amazing overall.

Harry is still a bit hesitant on letting me go, but I explained to him how I need to get out there again, and how much this really means to me. He does understand, thankfully, but he said that he wants me to call him every hour or two.

I think it's a bit excessive, but whatever floats his boat I guess- and whatever will give me an opportunity to do something by myself and for myself.

I told my boss that I smoke so I could go outside more often to call Harry. I feel kind of bad lying right off the bat, but it's for a good reason. Otherwise, he might get nervous and make me quit.

He's not a controlling person, but he wants to keep me safe. I understand it, but I also have to be independent with what I do.

I also think that this is a good opportunity for him to get back to work, seeing as he has been treating me like a bird with a broken wing for the past month.

I still have my good days and bad days, but I need some time without him around to sort it all out. I've never been the type to be able to figure things out with someone else over my shoulder, no matter how much I appreciate the gesture.

But also, I might kill him if he doesn't give me some space because he has been the most clingy I've ever seen him.

From the moment we wake up until we go to sleep, he is practically up my ass- and not in a good way.

Not that I want him literally up my ass because I have a one-way traffic policy, but you know what I mean.

I'm stuck between feeling happy that he cares so much, and wanting to punch him in the face for treating me like I'm a ticking time bomb.

To be fair, I felt that way for the first week, but hopefully this job is on outlet for me that doesn't involve the green-eyed cuddle monster.

That's what his new name is, seeing as he won't leave me the fuck alone.

Harry let me take one of the cars today, and I'm lucky that he trusts me enough to drive myself.

I also don't think he sees any real threats now that Jacob is out of the picture and things at the office have calmed down.

Another thing running through my mind recently is how things are actually going at Harry's work, because I know it's a lot more intense than I see. I can't say that it doesn't bother me, but I guess since I've only seen the tip of the iceberg, maybe it hasn't fully clicked.

What has made it more realistic and relevant to me is what happened with Jacob. I was fucking shot and kidnapped, and it made me think a lot about how good he was at keeping me and Grace there. He did similar things before- similar things while working for Harry.

I wish it didn't bother me, but it does.

Speaking of Grace, Harry found a number for her, so I've been keeping in contact. She's such a sweet girl and I didn't want to never speak to her again, especially considering the amount of trauma she probably has now. Hell, I'm traumatized and I was only there for a few nights.