Crossroads - H.S.

Chapter 16

TRIGGER WARNING: TALKS OF DEATH AND DETAILED SUICIDE.

Four years ago

Last night was exhausting.

Dad was super drunk, like always, but what surprised me was mom was too. She never drinks because she knows what it has done to my dad, but she has one too many last night.

I'm not mad about it though. She needs a break, so I understand when she does reckless things. At least she's not a mean drunk. She's either giggly or sad, and both are easy to handle with her.

Although I hate seeing her sad, I like knowing that she has that emotion in her. It makes me feel like I'm not so weird. Seeing as James and my father have hearts of ice, my emotions make them think I'm weak or out of the ordinary. Mom doesn't think that though.

She's such an angel, I don't know what I would do without her. She has helped me with everything I've ever needed, and told me that everything I've ever felt is okay.

When I had my first kiss, she wanted me to tell her exactly how it made me feel. She asked me if I had any doubts about my sexuality, and although I appreciated the gesture, I assured her that I was comfortable in my own skin.

When I lost my virginity to the same guy, I told her immediately. She told me that if I felt it was right for me, then I made the right choice. But she also gave me the whole generic talk about STDs and pregnancy, which is a lot to take in for a 16 year old.

I've never seen her angry, and I've never heard her yell. Even when my dad was screaming in her face or passed out drunk on the couch, she remained calm.

I know she's not calm on the inside though, and I worry about her a lot. She assures me that there's nothing to worry about, but I stress over it anyway. She's my best friend, of course I'm going to worry about how she's feeling.

I try to ask her about what's swimming in her head, but she always tells me that she's fine. I know she's lying, but I don't want to push her to tell me something she doesn't want to.

Her and I have always been close, but we've gotten a lot closer these past few months. Ever since we moved out of that shitty apartment and into this house, things have been great. We always have wonderful meals, we go shopping a lot, and we even have a mother-daughter date night once a week. Everything is so perfect for me right now.

Aside from the alcoholic dad and asshole of a brother, things are good between mom and I.

I woke up this morning feeling excited for today. Mom and I are going to the beach. I've never seen the ocean, so I was thrilled when she suggested it.

I get out of bed and I'm immediately full of energy. I swing my door open and walk past the living room to see my dad sprawled out on the couch, as usual. I open my mom's door, but she's not in her bed.

That's weird. She's always asleep until at least 7.

"Mom?" I call out, looking around her room. I notice the bathroom door is shut, so I assume she's in there. I walk to it and place a few knocks on the door.

"Mom, are you in here? Can I come in?" When she doesn't answer, I decide to open the door anyway.

She's probably can't hear me, or maybe she's not in here at all.

When I open the door, my heart drops. I feel a sharp pain in my heart and my stomach when I see my mother layed in the bathtub. It's filled completely with water, but it's no longer just water.

It's red. Blood red.

"Mom!" I scream so loud it hurts. I rush over to the water and try to lift her out. Her lifeless body is pruned from the water, signalling that she's been in there for a while.