Critique Station 2020

B 3-5 [🌻]

[Paalala lang po. Hindi po ako perpekto. Binabase ko po ang pagcritic ng mga stories niyo sa nalalaman ko at gusto ko lang maging honest sa inyo. Now, if hindi po kayo kontento, wala na po akong magagawa doon.]

TITLE: ERIE
Written by: WinterSeiryu

➡️ You have a unique title that really signify your story which is the place between the two opposite kingdoms. It is not just a place or a boundary pero it contributes or has a special role in the story.

COVER:

➡️I like your cover. It really signifies the two mainland and people in the story. The fire and the ice. Two opposite elements.

NARRATION:

➡️Your narration is good and clear. As in sobrang linaw ng pagnarrate mo sa mga kaganapan sa kuwento. Good thing that you put some terms in the last part of your prologue and explain those new words para malinawan at hindi malito ang mga readers mo.

TECHNICALITIES:

➡️ You're using the third person pov but sometimes, napapansin ko na sumasablay ka. Especially in using the 'niya' at 'nito'. In a scene in chapter one, you're focusing to the princess and narrating what's in her mind. Minsan, nagagamit mo ang salitang 'nito' which is only used when narrating a certain scene of other characters. Since nakafocus ka sa prinsesa, you should've use the 'niya'. Also, minsan nagugulat ako kapag bigla-bigla na lang ume-English ang mga characters. Most of the time, you are using Filipino kaya nakakadistruct talaga ito.

OVERVIEW:

➡️Maganda siya. As in! The way you narrate it in Filipino and in using of third person pov is good. Also, in the first chapters, hindi paspoil ang mga ito. Talagang hindi mo mahuhulaan ang susunod na mangyayari unless you keep on reading it to follow the happenings.

Quote from Shee: “There's no harm in trying to stick to where you are good at.”