Critique Station 2020

B 1-5 [🌼]

[Paalala lang po. Hindi po ako perpekto. Binabase ko po ang pagcritic ng mga stories niyo sa nalalaman ko at gusto ko lang maging honest sa inyo. Now, if hindi po kayo kontento, wala na po akong magagawa doon.]

TITLE: What Happened: The Lost Memory of Zhasha Marrin
Written by: blueink_roses

➡️The first time I saw the title of your story, questions flooded inside my head. Lalo na at mahaba ito. I was torn between what is the real meaning behind that title. But then, nalinawan na ako as I started reading it. You really did a great job on choosing a title where it really make the readers open their curiosity about the story.

COVER:

➡️The cover is simple and I can tell that it somehow represent and connected to what the story is. Para sa’kin ha, your cover somehow signifies past and present. (Correct me if I’m wrong about it. Hahaha.)

NARRATION:

➡️Your narration is good but I suggest na you go direct to the point and just focus on your storyline para hindi mabored ang mga readers mo sa pagbabasa. Especially in prologue where you are explaining the partial ideas about your story. I like the way it is narrated. Napa-oh! talaga ako noong naliwanagan na ako about sa flow ng story mo.

TECHNICALITIES:

➡️You used English language in your prologue and I noticed some wrong grammars on it and as the narration continues, there are also some misuse punctuations such as the dot (.) and comma (,). Lahat naman tayo, iyan palagi ang nakakaligtaang gamitin nang maayos but it can be edited and corrected naman.

OVERVIEW:

➡️I’ll be honest, this story gave me a different idea because of its title but as I read it, it made me realize that there is still more behind that title. Expectation versus reality nga talaga. And I never expected it.

Quote from Shee: “Outside appearance doesn’t signify ones true color. You still have to dig deeper for you to know the real story behind a masterpiece.”