All Our Lives ✔

6|

She saw me. Looked directly into my eyes and shielded her face as if I might hit her, as if I'd already started and she was just going to let it happen.

We were in my room. I'd shaken Sebri out of the sleep that didn't want to let her go, and I had one knee on her bed.

I held my palms out to her so she could see. "I would never do that," I swore. "Never."

Even as she nodded, she trembled, seeming unaware of it.

I held her to me. "You're safe. You're safe here."

But the nightmares, I knew, continued. They must've gotten worse, because she stopped coming over.

My texts got one-word responses, and at school, Sebri was too quiet to be engaged.

Mom is asking where you've been...what do I say?

We'll see you for her birthday right?

There was no reply, but I felt certain she wouldn't disappoint Mom.

And she didn't.

She came to the door holding flowers and a box of Mom's favorite chocolates. Unlike me, she never failed to get her cards and stuff on the right days—I was usually a week late or a week early.

At half her best, Sebri was a knockout. At her full potential, she could knock the world flat.

She was in the dressy romper I'd given her a few months ago. She'd styled her hair. Hidden the shadows under her eyes, but not the ones inside them—they had always been there, and always would be.

Too often lately, she'd looked diminished. It was good to see her like this again.

Once Mom went to hunt down a vase for her latest bouquet (we were running out—she was far too popular), Sebri presented me with a single red carnation. The one she'd been holding behind her back.

I held it to my chest silently. It was the dark sort of red—the kind that made me want to bite into it.

And it matched my dress. I'd chosen my corduroy overall dress and worn a thin sweater underneath it; I was going for simple but cute.

"You're so beautiful," Sebri murmured.

Mom called her from the kitchen, and I wandered into the living room, sagging onto the couch—facedown to muffle my dolphin sounds.

After placing the carnation in some water by my bedside, I had no problem spying on my people from beyond the serving hatch. Mom wanted to have her birthday dinner at home this year, so Jim was preparing the food. While he stirred something at the stove, crooning love songs, Mom whispered something to Sebri with a reassuring look. Seb, fighting emotion, nodded.

I went to the backyard for some air.

"Wherever you are, Colleen Leray, I hope you're not dead."

I wanted to kill her myself.

But it would've been great not to have to be reminded of that for a day.

"It's nice out," Sebri said as she joined me.

Huh, she was right. The air was still warm, and the sky was a smear of colors.

I said nothing. If I asked her how she was doing, she'd just avoid me again.

I was gonna ogle her in peace, damn it.

"You look at me like that sometimes," she said, smiling, "and I might be dressed up, or I might be wearing my rattiest clothes."